Run Away With Me
by themasterwaifu
Summary: "Run away with me." He'd been asking her that every day for 15 years. So much has changed, but that one line remains the same. "Run away with me." Maybe one day. Rated for language, violence, and eventual smut.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Notes:_

 _Hey all~ I'm back with a multi-chapter fic, my first in a very long time. Please leave comments and notes~ Feedback is always welcome~ Enjoy!_

* * *

Chapter 1

He remembered the first time he saw her like it was yesterday.

Bruce had just adopted Dick. They had just gotten all of the paperwork finalized when _she_ appeared. She waltzed into the dining room while they were having breakfast, a shit eating grin on her face and a diploma in hand. Dick watched her with his mouth hanging open as she sauntered over to them. The early morning sun cast a halo around her as it bounced off her blonde hair. Dick's ten year old mind rationalized that an angel must have dropped into their midst.

"Welcome home, Harley," Bruce said with a smile, rising to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "How was Switzerland?"

"How's this for success?" she grinned, shoving the diploma under his nose. "I am now _Doctor_ Harleen Quinzel, PhD extraordinaire! AND the youngest person ever to get a job at the prestigious Arkham Asylum!"

"Hey! So Strange finally realized he needs your skills," Bruce cheered, raising his water glass to her. Alfred quickly gave her one as well. "To your successful career." They clinked glasses. Dick cleared his throat as he stood and Bruce turned a little red. "Harley, this is Dick Grayson. I just adopted him. Dick, this is my cousin, Harley."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Harley said with a grin, holding out her hand to him. He took it and gave her a nervous grin.

He couldn't get out a hello no matter how hard he tried. He was stunned by her beauty. Even after all his years at the circus, surrounded with dancers and actresses, he'd never seen someone like her. He opened and closed his mouth a few times trying to get words out.

"Will you run away with me?" was what he ended up blurting out.

And that's how it began. In the grips of laughter from the adults, Harley told him that she might when he was older. Even as a child, he knew what he said was ridiculous. She sat with them for breakfast and Bruce invited her to stay with them at the manor as long as she liked. After all, it was closer to the Asylum than any apartment she could get in central Gotham. She accepted with a smile that made Dick's head spin.

* * *

That evening, as they sat in the Batcave waiting to see if the Commissioner would call, Bruce decided he owed Dick an explanation.

"Our moms were sisters," he said, breaking the silence so suddenly that Dick actually jumped. "Her parents, my aunt and uncle, they came here to take care of me after my parents died. We were close before that, but afterwards… We'd introduce each other as brother and sister. At least until we got into college."

"I thought you didn't go to college?" Dick asked, jumping up onto one of the counters. He was so short that his feet didn't touch the ground, so he swung his feet back and forth with glee.

"I did two years," Bruce said with a defiant snort. "She was so smart she got into college when she was 15. Spent the last ten years learning and studying. It's good to have her back."

"Where did the accent come from?" Dick asked, cocking his head to one side.

"Nonya business, that's where!" came the shout from the elevator. Dick jumped again and turned quickly, almost falling off the counter. Harley was walking in with her hands on her hips, a grumpy frown on her face. Her eyes landed on Dick and he saw the fury in her eyes when she turned them on Bruce. He audibly swallowed. "Can I speak to you in private, please?"

Bruce got up quickly and followed her. An air of annoyance radiated around him, as though talking to his cousin was a burden he didn't need. Dick couldn't imagine what needed to be said in private (it's not like he understood anything adults said) but he quickly found out. Despite them going off beyond his sight, he could hear Harley yelling.

"How DARE you drag a CHILD into this!" she screeched, his voice echoing in the cave. "Have you completely lost your mind?!" There was a silence and Dick figured Bruce was responding. "I DON'T CARE ABOUT HIS PARENTS! Are you gonna take in every orphan you find on the streets?! He's, what? TEN?! You're gonna get him killed!" Another small silence. "JUST BECAUSE HE CAN FLY ON A TRAPEZE DOESN'T MEAN HE CAN FIGHT CRIME!"

Dick smirked a little. He wanted to prove her wrong. So he grabbed a batarang laying nearby and moved until he could just see them. Carefully he lined up his shot and tossed the batarang. It embedded itself into the stones between them, just an inch from Harley's nose. She just blinked, she was so shocked.

"I learned how to throw knives too," he said with his trademark cheeky grin. Bruce laughed a little and pulled the batarang out from the wall. "Jack said I was the best apprentice he ever took on."

"It shows!" Bruce said with a smile, tossing the batarang underhanded onto the control panel. "Come on, Lee, I've seen the kid in action. He can handle himself. And I'm sure he'll get even better with some training."

"Training?!" Harley's hands planted themselves on her hips as she stomped over to Bruce, who had since moved back to the monitors. She looked at him with a calculating eye, one eyebrow raising slowly. "Who am I talking to?" Bruce didn't answer, just stared down at the keyboard and refused to meet her gaze. "Bruce? … Batman."

"What?!" he snapped, turning on Harley so quickly that she stumbled back a few paces. "Don't start with your psychological bullshit. Not with me. I'm not your patient."

"No, you're my brother," she said with a sigh, turning back towards Dick. "Do you have a name yet? Batboy?"

Dick made a disgusted face at that. "That sounds terrible! No, we didn't figure something out yet…"

* * *

The answer came a few days later as Harley was watching Dick practice his acrobatics. He and Alfred had set up uneven parallel bars in the backyard, which Dick was flipping and spinning around expertly. Harley was sitting by the pool, reading a book and looking up every once in a while to make sure Dick hadn't fallen or broken something. She had to admit, he was certainly agile. But she was still nervous with Bruce taking him under his bat wing. It just seemed too dangerous… He did a flip and launched himself off the high bar, sticking his landing on the lawn. He jumped when she clapped, like he didn't realize she was there, and flashed her a grin.

"Do you wanna try?" he asked, grabbing a nearby towel and his water bottle. "I can show you how. It's really easy."

"Yeah I know." She chuckled, setting her book side and stepping up to the bars. "Now, I haven't done this in years, so I apologize if I'm a little rusty."

She jumped on the lower bar, taking a few warming up swings. Once she'd gotten enough height, she launched herself towards the higher bar with a delicate front flip. Her years of gymnastics came back to her in a flash, like riding a bike. It felt wonderful to have the wind rushing through her hair as she swung and flipped around. She caught a glimpse of Dick staring wide eyed and open mouthed and a little red faced, like he was embarrassed being outclassed by a girl. She kept going, remembering an old routine from high school. Though she felt her grip slipping a bit, her palms were sweating and she had no chalk, so she let go with another backflip. She didn't stick her landing, she had to take a few stumbling steps to keep upright, but she grinned nonetheless. It felt wonderful to do gymnastics again. She turned to see Dick's reaction and realized he was gone.

"Please won't you run away with me?" Harley started a little and spun around, seeing Dick on one knee behind her with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. It looked like he'd just run off to the gardens to pick them. He was giving her a thousand watt smile and she grinned back, taking the flowers from him and inhaling deeply.

"Ask me again when you're older," she said with a chuckle, admiring his persistence. He stared at her for a second, tapping his foot, and then grinned again.

"Okay, I'm older. Run away with me, doll," he retorted. He kept grinning at her and she fell over laughing. Persistent indeed.

"Say, when you were swinging around, you looked like a bird," she said, wiping tears from her eyes. "Like a little robin with that red shirt."

"A robin?" he asked, cocking his head as he thought about it. "I looked like a robin?"

"A robin, eh?" Bruce said as he materialized by the bars. "I like the sound of that… What do you think, Dick? Batman and Robin."

* * *

"You two have no consideration, do you?!"

Batman was in no mood for his cousin's rantings. He and Dick had just gotten in from a brutal evening on the streets, he was bloodied, bruised, aching, and probably had a concussion. Harley's shrill voice was grating on his mind like a nail on a chalkboard. He yanked his cape and cowl off and tossed them over his chair, letting Alfred fret as he started bandaging him.

"What did we do this time?" he grumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"Did you come to run away with me?" Dick cried as he bounded over to her, showing off his new costume.

"Not now, Dick," Harley snapped, harsher than she'd intended. He deflated in a second and she turned back to Bruce. "Do you have any idea how difficult you've made my job?"

"I'm sure I don't," was the muttered reply.

"Ever since you put the Joker away, we've had doctors and nurses quitting left and right!" she huffed, tossing back her lab coat so she could put her hands on her hips. "I've been on triple overtime this entire week. Arkham's staff is stretched so thin that Strange is saddling ME with that lunatic!"

"He's what?" that got Bruce's attention. They'd just tangled with the Joker for the very first time a few weeks ago. He got up quickly, grabbing her shoulders as a manic look came into his eyes. "Harley don't you see how perfect this is? You'll be his doctor. You can get him to talk! I need you to find out everything you can about him."

"That's kind of my job, Bruce. As his psychiatrist." Harley rolled her eyes at him and shook her head.

"I mean more than that," Bruce said, shaking her a little. "I'll write some stuff down. Please, Lee, can you do this for me? I need to know how he works."

"That's a breach of doctor patient confidentiality," Harley drawled. She cast her eyes to the ceiling, as if she realized she was making a bad choice. "Write down your questions. I can't guarantee anything."

None of them realized at the time how bad of a choice that was.


	2. Chapter 2

_AN: Sorry for the late update this week, injury has kept me from doing... well anything. Anyway, the story begins in earnest now! Thank you all for reading!_

* * *

Chapter 2

Nightwing raced across the rooftops, doing his best to keep the jester in his sights. He'd gotten a call from Batman that Harley Quinn was robbing a jewelry store and jumped on the chance. He'd been on traffic duty all day and relished the opportunity to do some real good. He was gaining on her, and swung a bolas towards her. The balls wrapped around her ankles and he flinched as he watched her fall face first on the asphalt of the roof. She wasn't down long, but it was long enough for him to get close. She got to her feet and blocked a strike with a raised forearm.

"When are you runnin' away with me, doll?" he asked, that trademark grin on his face.

Harley grinned back and swept his legs out from underneath him. He easily jumped away, doing a back handspring and grabbing the escrima sticks off his back. He swung at her and he had to chuckle a little. One of these days he was going to get to her say yes. She jumped easily out of the way, the stolen jewels glinting around her neck and wrists.

"Maybe when you manage to steal my heart away from Mista J and not just my body," she teased, giving him a little spin around before hitch kicking him in the chest. He stumbled back a few paces and smirked.

"Challenge accepted!" he laughed, lunging towards her again.

She jumped off to the side, bringing her elbow up to connect with his temple. Stars bloomed in front of his vision. He squatted down and charged forward, getting his shoulder into her stomach and pushing her back. She cried out as he slammed her into a brick chimney, pinning her against it. He grabbed her arms, making sure to keep her steady. She barely gave an attempt to wiggle away, only succeeding in grinding her hips into his. He bit back a groan, instead opting to glare through his mask.

"You're going to have to give all this back," he said firmly, glancing down at the stolen jewels.

"But it's mine and Mista J's anniversary coming up," she said coyly, batting her eyelashes at him. "I just wanted something to make me look pretty."

Nightwing had to bite his tongue. _You're always pretty, Lee,_ he thought. Instead he steeled his gaze. "Take it all off Harley," he demanded, loosening his grip just enough to let her take off the jewels. She pouted at him, but acquiesced, carefully removing each piece and dropping them in a little bag he held open for her. When she dropped the last ring in, he tied up the bag, distracted long enough not to notice her untying her corset. He turned back just in time to see her pull it open a little and blushed. "Whoa, what are you doing?"

"You told me to take it _all_ off," she grinned, pulling it open a little more. He grabbed her hands and for a moment she wasn't sure if he was going to stop her or take over for her. So she went up on her tiptoes so she could look him in the eyes and gently took his face in her hands. "I'm only doing what you told me to."

It only took another moment of internal debate before his lips descended onto hers. She arched into him, wrapping a leg around his hips and pulling him in close. A gasp escaped him as he ground his hips against hers, already feeling himself straining against his suit. He couldn't help himself, she was still just as beautiful as the day they met (she hadn't aged a single day) and every time he kissed her his boyhood dreams came true. The fact that she encouraged him helped quite a bit as well. She guided his hands beneath her loosened top and they shot up, finding purchase on her waist and squeezing tightly. She gasped into their kiss and broke away to breathe, letting out a soft moan as his lips attached to her neck. Her fingers threaded through his hair, gripping tightly and giving him a sharp tug. He pried his lips off her and arched an eyebrow, his smirk plastered on his face.

"You might wanna give me a nice shiner," she said softly as she tried to catch her breath. "Give me some excuse about why I came home empty handed."

"How about I send you home limping instead?" he suggested, pressing against her and chuckling at her sharp intake of breath. He gave her a good look, from her smudged lipstick, her mussed hair, the beads of sweat on her brow that were making her makeup run, and decided that even without the limp she'll have plenty of excuse to return empty handed.

When Dick strode into the police station the next morning, he was still riding off the high from the night before. Everyone seemed to notice his good mood and his smile was infectious. His hearty good mornings and cheerful waving had a couple people scratching their heads, including the Commissioner, who watched through his windows with raised brows. It'd been a while since Dick had come in in such a good mood.

"Good morning, Mike!" Dick beamed, plopping down at his desk across from his partner. Mike shuffled some papers on his desk and shook his head.

"What's got you so chipper this morning?" Mike asked, watching Dick toss a pencil up into the ceiling. It embedded itself almost to the eraser and he shook his head. "Did you see your mysterious girl last night?"

"Something like that," Dick chuckled, spinning around in his seat. "And she's hardly mysterious, she's Bruce's cousin. You'd have met her if you came to the gala last month."

"I told you, Charlie knocked his tooth out," Mike said with a sigh, shrugging his shoulders. "He was a bucket of tears all night and didn't let go of my neck!"

"Oh right, right…" Dick looked around, fingers drumming on his desk. He adored Mike's kids, but sometimes the man used them as an excuse to get out of social engagements and it grated on Dick a little. Though it did give him some good ideas for when he had kids of his own.

The thought of kids of his own made his smile drop right off his face. Becoming a dad was one of his goals in life, but it seemed to him that the world was conspiring against it. After all, he wanted to be married before he had children. However even when he and Barbara were engaged, he couldn't see her being a mother. There was one woman he _could_ see that way, but he also knew there was only heartache down that road.

"So… Nightwing chased off Harley Quinn last night," Mike said casually, flipping through a police report. "It must be hard on him… Having a night job like that and whatever else he does during the day _and_ maintain a love life. I don't know how he has the energy to do it all and annoy the piss out of his coworkers."

Dick just grinned, Mike's humor lifting his melancholy a bit. "Can't I feel good for once?"

"No."

A short laugh escaped him as he got up to fix himself a cup of coffee. Mike finding out about his secret identity was a complete accident, but a happy one all the same. It made it easier to explain to his partner why he was falling asleep on duty or running out the second his shift was over. It gave him someone to confide in outside of the batfamily. He chuckled a little as he remembered the incident. Quite a lapse in judgement on his part, it was one of the nights he was running straight off to patrol. He hadn't gotten any sleep the night before and stuffed his suit into a large gym bag under other clothes. The problem came when the bag didn't fit properly in his locker. When he went to his locker that evening, completely forgetting that it was there, it flew out of the locker and spilled the contents all over the floor, Nightwing emblem full on display. He was lucky that it was only Mike in there at the time because he found himself completely at a loss for words. When his voice came back he drummed up a lame excuse about comic-con that, surprise, surprise, Mike saw right through.

"Working hard, or hardly working, Officer?" Dick looked up to see Barbara Gordon standing there, a smile on her face and a paper bag in her hand. "You seem unusually happy today."

"Just had a good night of chasing bad guys and bringing justice," he smirked, giving her a chaste kiss on the cheek. "Good to see ya, Babs. What brings you down to hell?"

"Dad forgot his lunch on the counter. Again." She rolled her eyes a she lifted the bag. "I swear he does this on purpose."

"I think he likes watching you _walk_ around the station," Dick offered with a shrug. Truth be told, he was glad to see her walking too. There had been such a long time when no one thought she'd walk again. As always, Bruce's money made things happen, and the experimental tech cured her paralysis in a few short months. She was just started to get back out in the field too.

"Maybe…" She turned to look through the window and saw her father waving at her from his desk. She smiled softly. "You might be right."

"I'm a detective, of course I'm right," he muttered smugly as she trotted into the office. He sipped his coffee and watched her, wondering briefly where he went wrong with her. He thought their relationship was fine until she dumped him out of the blue. As he sat back down and clicked through the reports on his computer he realized he never got a proper explanation for that.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

All good days must come to an end. Dick discovered this the hard way.

Selina Kyle had stopped by the manor earlier that day with a piece of juicy gossip "for Bruce's ears only" as she told Damian. That didn't stop him from pressing his ear against the door to listen in. He struggled to hear Selina's words, but Bruce's rang out clear.

"DICK DID WHAT?!" came the furious shout not five minutes later.

Damian, ever the opportunist, quickly opened the group chat he had with his brothers (titled 'BatBros') and typed out a message.

 _Damian 5:46pm_

 _Guys, Dick did something wrong._

 _Father's PISSED!_

 _Timothy: 5:46pm_

 _:O_

 _Jason: 5:46pm_

 _GOLDEN BOY FUCKED UP?!_

 _I GOTTA BREAK OUT OF PRISON_

 _BUT I AM ON MY WAY_

 _Timothy: 5:47pm_

 _Don't let Bruce start yelling till I get there!_

 _I'm jumping in a Zeta-tube now!_

 _Damian: 5:47pm_

 _I can make no promises, Drake. Father's rather furious and Dick's due here for patrol any minute._

 _Timothy: 5:49pm_

 _WHY did he refuse to put a Zeta in the Batcave?!_

 _I'm 5 mins out_

 _Jason just sped past me._

 _Jason: 5:49pm_

 _Look guys no hands_

 _:D_

 _Richard: 5:50pm_

 _YOU GUYS REALIZE I'M IN THIS GROUP TOO RIGHT?!_

The shock of seeing Dick's text actually made Damian throw his phone across the hall. He quickly picked it up, chastising himself for being childish, and took the elevator down to the batcave. Opening the cave doors so his brothers could drive right in, he pulled on his costume, flipped the hood up and collapsed in his father's chair. He was the picture of laziness, one leg thrown over the arm rest, the other dangling off the side, sitting crooked and messing with his phone. Though he'd never let anyone see, he was playing Angry Birds.

Despite his brother's eagerness, he was not very keen on watching Dick get in trouble. Sure, they had a rough start, but over the last couple years Damian had come to admire his eldest brother in his own way. Of course he'd never admit it. It was easier for him if they all thought he hated them. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he worried that one day he'd betray them. He's Ras Al Ghul's grandson after all, the Heir to the Demon, an assassin. Conditioning like that doesn't just go away.

Tim's timing was, as always, immaculate, as he and Jason sped in exactly five minutes after he sent his text. Damian barely looked up when they roared in, instead he hit a button on the console without even looking and the cave doors silently slid closed. Both were wearing their costumes, Jason's bat symbol peeking out from his half zipped leather jacket. As soon as they were parked, Tim threw his helmet on the ground, a snarl on his lips.

"You cheated!" he cried, pointing his finger as Jason who casually pulled off his Red Hood helmet, a smirk on his lips. "If you hadn't run me off the road I totally would have beaten you here!"

"Are you kidding me? I beat you by a mile," Jason retorted, tucking his helmet under his arm. His hands reflexively dove into one of the pockets on his cargo pants, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. When he realized, he cursed his habit and jammed them back in. Damn he needed a fag, and damn Batman for not allowing smoking in the batcave. He casually strolled over to the console, ruffling Damian's hood as he walked past. He moved away before the boy could stab his hand with a batarang. "And I didn't run you off the road, little bro, that was the fault of your own shoddy driving."

"I'm better on a bike than you are any day of the week!" Tim yelled, following after him quickly. Jason was by no means his favorite brother (or anyone's favorite for that matter) but they'd come to a tentative understanding since Tim dropped the mantle of Robin. And beyond that Jason was still his older brother, and coming from a family where he was an only child, Tim enjoyed being able to say 'my older brother's a tool'.

"Then why did you run yourself off the road?" Jason asked in a sing songy voice. He caught Tim's bo staff in midair with one hand. "Don't be mad at me because you can't drive!"

Tim didn't let up, instead he pressed down farther to try and make his staff connect. Jason just smirked, grabbing it with both hands and flipped Tim over his head before the boy got a chance to react. He landed painfully on his back and Jason pulled the staff out of his hands, throwing it aside.

"Todd, Drake, stop it," Damian called, sitting up properly as he turned the chair around to face them. "Grayson isn't back yet and Father's on a rampage. Do you want him directing his anger at you?" In truth, Damian had no idea if Bruce was that angry but it was effective. They both quieted down just as Bruce stepped out of the elevator. "Good evening, Father."

"Tim! Jason!" Bruce looked between the two, Tim still on the floor, and arched an eyebrow, through it was impossible to see because he had his cowl up. "What are you doing here?"

"In town," came the simultaneous reply, followed by near identical shit eating grins. The longer Batman stared, the more the smiles faltered. On a normal day they'd have had no problem teasing each other and testing the limits of Batman's patients. But anger radiated off the Bat in waves. It made them both rethink their usual strategies. No one wanted to be on the receiving end of Batman's anger.

Batman didn't get a chance to ask more questions. Dick chose that moment to ride leisurely in. He rolled to a stop next to the other two bikes and took his time getting off. All eyes were on him and he was acutely aware of the reason. Because of that, he'd take as much time as he could before he had to face them. So he straightened his suit, he fixed his hair, took a nice stretch—

"Richard John Grayson Wayne."

 _Time's up_. Dick slowly turned around, a nervous smile on his face as he walked over, rubbing the back of his neck. It was rare enough for Bruce to call him Richard, but using his full name like that meant he was in really deep shit. His brothers knew it too, as they all started sniggering. Batman glared at them over his shoulder and they fell silent in an instant.

"Selina told me something very disturbing today," he began, turning his furious gaze back to Dick, making the boy freeze in his tracks. "Something I hope isn't true."

"I'm sure I have no idea what she could have said," Dick said with a shrug, relaxing a little. He hadn't seen or spoken to Selina Kyle in months. Now that he thought about it, he hadn't seen her since she and Bruce split. It made him weary that she so suddenly appeared. "But she is a liar, remember."

"I remember," Batman replied simply.

Batman didn't speak for a minute, making Dick shuffle a little. He'd seen his mentor use this technique on people all the time, but it didn't make it any less scary when he was the target. He risked looking in Batman's eyes and, seeing how furious they still were, he quickly turned away. "Wh-what did she tell you?"

"Last night, when you were chasing Harley Quinn. She followed you." Dick audibly gulped and kept his eyes trained on the far wall over his brother's heads.

"Yeah and? She saw me beat her up and get the jewels back. Am I in trouble for doing my job?" He saw Batman's eyes narrow from the corner of his eye and tried to keep his cool. If Selina followed him then she might have seen… "Or are you mad because I beat up your sister?"

"Sister?" Damian shouted in shock, unable to stop himself. Tim and Jason, sitting on either side of him, clamped their hands over his mouth.

"His cousin, long story, tell ya later," Jason hissed, keeping his hand over his youngest brother's mouth.

"Her report was a little different," Batman continued, his voice still level and calm.

"Why don't you just spit it out?" Dick asked, throwing his arms in the air in frustration. "Because I'm not falling for this big and scary routine. I'm not a street thug, I'm your son." He ignored Damian's snort.

"She claims to have seen you in a much more… intimate and compromising scenario." Dick didn't let his shock show, but Tim and Jason had no problem.

"Intimate?" Tim asked, his mind running a mile a minute. "Are you banging Joker's whore?!" Every person in the room turned to him in shock and he looked down, his cheeks a little red. "I've been spending too much time with Jason…"

"I'm such a bad influence," Jason said with a chuckle, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye. "I'm so proud of you."

"Okay before you start yelling at me," Dick started, bringing Batman's attention back to him, "I want to remind you of the reason you have very little room to judge me."

"And what reason is that?" Batman asked slowly.

"Really?" Dick's face fell in his hand and he pointed at Damian. "The _reason_ is sitting three feet away from you." Batman glanced back at his one blood son and his shoulders slumped just a little. "So if anything between the two of us, I've got the moral high ground because _I_ am using protection."

The punch that slammed into his jaw and sent him flying was both expected and deserved, which is why Dick didn't try to dodge it. The boys all watched, wide eyed, suddenly regretting their collective decision to want to see Dick punished.

As he slowly got to his feet, Dick internally cursed himself for talking before thinking. What he said was a complete lie, and hitting far too below the belt. He and Harley had something akin to an agreement about not actually having sex, but the idea that they were was already implanted in his family's mind. There was no use trying to convince them of the truth, either. Batman was too pissed to listen to reason, and Jason would just start teasing him to no end, which in turn would raise Batman's anger even more. It was a slippery slope. Dick figured it was just easier to let them believe what they want.

"Wait, who's your mom, baby bro?" Jason asked, pulling his hand way from Damian's mouth.

"Talia Al Ghul," Damian muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. He hated it when they referred to him as their brother. Or rather, he actually found it endearing and liked being part of such a big family, but there was no way he would ever let them know that.

"Talia… Ras' daughter?" Jason asked, his eyes shooting up to Batman. "Righteous."

"There is no 'moral high ground' here, Dick," Batman said, stalking over to where Dick was regaining his composure on the ground. "What you're doing is foolhardy and dangerous. You forget, Ras liked me. The Joker hates all of us."

"And you forget that she regularly betrays the Joker," Dick countered, slowly getting to his feet. "So really, which is more dangerous?"

"What's she doing?" Damian asked, his voice dropping to a whisper. Both boys shrugged. Neither of them had been let in on the little family secrete. Dick only knew because he was there when it started.

"Betraying him, apparently. It's about time she came to her senses," Jason said with a solemn nod. "But the Joker isn't stupid. He'll figure it out. If she is betraying him, it's a dangerous game."

"That sounds a lot like admiration in your voice, Todd," Damian said with a smirk. "Thinking about switching sides again?"

"The Joker can kiss my fucking ass," Jason hissed.

"Language!" Batman chided, making Jason stick his tongue out at him. "This isn't a contest, Dick. You know what happens when you get the Joker's attention." Dick's eyes glanced over at Jason and he sighed. "You're acting off a childhood crush. Don't be stupid."

"There are worse reasons to start a relationship," Dick said with a shrug and a defiant look coming back in his eyes. "Like, oh gee, I don't know… How about starting to date and then _becoming engaged to_ an Amazon off a _rebound_ after your cat burglar girlfriend dumped you?" He did dodge that punch, back hand-springing away easily. "You're really not in a position to be lecturing me."

"You've been obsessed with her for 15 years, Dick," came the next argument and Dick just rolled his eyes. "It's not healthy."

"Because you've had _so many_ healthy relationships." He blocked that punch. "I am sick of you thinking you can control me. I am 25! I am not a child!"

"Then stop acting like one," Batman chided, lowering his fist. Dick could feel the glare through his cowl. "I am still you're legal guardian—"

"You stopped being that when I was 18."

"—And you are still a member of this family. As long as you wear a bat on your chest, what I say goes."

"It's barely a bat…"

"Do you understand me?!"

The force of the shout made Dick take a step back. Bruce raising his voice was common, but Batman doing it was not. For a moment he wondered if the line between the two was blurring again. Not wanting to make things worse for himself, Dick threw his hands up in surrender.

"Fine, whatever," Dick said with a sigh, stubbornly looking away from Batman. "I'll back off. But don't blame me if she makes the first move. I have very little will power with this woman."

"I know." With an air of finality in his words, he turned away from Dick, his cape swishing around dramatically. He slowly approached his three younger sons, looking them up and down. They'd sat next to each other for nearly five minutes without starting a fist fight. It worried him. "Will you two be staying for a bit?"

"Got nowhere else to go," Jason said with a smirk. "I broke out of prison for this." He heard Dick's face smack loudly into his palm and gave Batman a shit eating grin. They could _feel_ the defeated and disappointed eyeroll coming from beneath the cowl. Jason's smile widened to Joker-like proportions.

"The Titans can function without me for a little," Tim said with a nod. "So I can stick around. It's good to be home."

"Great," Damian drawled sarcastically, jumping off the counter they were sitting on. "Well if you plebs will excuse me…"

"Who are you calling plebs, baby bro?" Jason asked, ruffling Damian's hair before he got too far away.

"Don't touch me," Damian snapped, swatting Jason's hand away. "I'll destroy you."

"I'd like to see you try, half pint."

Suddenly Jason was gone, having been tackled over the counter by Damian. It was barely a fight as they wrestled on the ground, Jason having a distinct size advantage over the young boy. Batman made a move to go separate them and Dick put a hand on his arm, shaking his head.

"No, no, give it a minute," Dick said thoughtfully, watching the fight carefully. "He deserves this one."


	4. Chapter 4

_AN: The day I upload a chapter on time is the day the world will end XD_

 _Anyway, everything goes wrong this week for our heroes! However will they cope?_

* * *

Chapter 4

Harley bounced down the halls of the hideout, shoving goons out of the way as she went. One guy she kicked in the nuts just because. As she listened to his anguished cries and smiled to herself and opened the door to the Joker's office. The place was a disaster, as per usual. Papers of all shapes and sizes littered the floor, there was a side table just full of empty liquor bottles, and the one other large table was cluttered with pills, pill bottles, bags of what one could only assume was coke and other drug paraphernalia. The Joker's desk was the only surface blessedly clear aside from a couple of accounting books and his current scribblings. The man himself sat behind said desk, elbows resting on an open book, fingers tented and an unusually serene look on his face as he contemplated… whatever it was the Joker contemplates. He'd long since tossed his purple jacket over the back of the desk chair, undone his neck tie, and opened the top few buttons of his crisp yellow shirt. His half open eyes looked bloodshot and didn't even turn to her and she came in. They just stared unfocused on the opposite wall.

Harley took the opportunity to look at the diagrams and maps hanging over the walls. Even after years of being the Joker's right hand, she still had trouble following his methods when it came to how he organized his stings. Not to mention his handwriting was completely illegible. She often said it was worse than doctor's handwriting, "and I should know, I'm a doctor." The most she could make out was an address, mostly because it was the only place currently pinned on the main map. She texted the address to Bruce with no more context and shoved her phone in her back pocket.

"Harley?" She barely heard the Joker call her name, he was so quiet. She was at his side in an instant with a glass of water and a smile.

"I'm right here, Puddin'," she said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Ya need something?" She had to admit, she was worried. He looked strung out, and the way he gulped down the water made her think he hadn't moved from that chair in while. "Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine, dear," he muttered, shoving her aside as he stood up, grabbing his coat off the chair. He shoved his arms in as he walked over to the rusted mirror, redoing his shirt and tie and running a hand through his green hair. He worked for a moment to flatten down a stubborn curl. Once it was tamed, he turned back to his mistress, his trademark smile on his face and looking so much like his old self. "I have another job for you. Up for it?"

"Anything for you, Puddin'," Harley said with a nod and a bright smile.

"Try not to fail me this time, won't you?" he asked, his eyes flashing dangerously as he yanked a draw open and pulled out a sterile syringe and an unmarked bottle of liquid. Harley took a tentative step back.

"I'll do my very best!" she said with a salute and a grin. "What do ya need me to do?"

"We're going to hunt bats and birds tonight," the Joker said, filling the syringe with the liquid and stalking over to her. "So we need to prepare for battle like the berserkers of old."

"Oh come on, Mista J, you know I don't like needles," Harley said weakly, her eyes trained in the needle in his hand.

"I'll have to find a way to distract you then."

She felt her back press up against the far wall and shuddered, eyes still on the syringe. She didn't even notice the Joker roughly grabbing her chin before he crushed his lips onto hers. Her reaction was more out of habit than feeling as she kissed him back, her eyes slowly slipping shut. His kiss seemed angry, his teeth scraping and biting her lips and tongue like he was trying to draw blood. Though it was just a usually kiss from the Joker. He knew not the meaning of the word 'gentle'. She felt him pass a pill into her mouth from his and gratefully swallowed it, not caring what it was but aching for the relief it would bring. He was having some trouble undoing her pants with just one hand, so she helped him, deftly undoing her belt and shoving them down as far as she could. He yanked them all the way down as he knelt, a hand on her inner thigh pushing her legs open. His hand squeezed tightly around her leg, making the veins bulge. He ran his tongue down her femoral artery before he jammed the needle into it. He was at least mildly considerate of her fears, as he quickly depressed the plunger and yanked the needle back out. A drop of blood beaded up and he licked that too. A small moan escaped her lips as she felt the clouding effects of the drugs take over. Her vision swam a little and she barely registered the Joker shoving the needle into his own neck and dosing himself with the same drug. She fell into his lap, complacent in his arms as he shoved his tongue down her throat. The only good part about taking his drugs would that she could forget how it felt when he touched her.

* * *

 _Lee: 12:12pm_

 _Warehouse 54_ _th_ _and Lexington_

Batman stared at the text on his phone, biting in the inside of his cheek. He'd gotten the text when he was still in the office and at the time cursed himself for not creating a secure server to access the computer in the batcave. Google maps had been a wonderful help to ease his curiosity. The warehouse that Harley told him about was abandoned, in a rough part of town, but hardly isolated. It was at a three way intersection, sandwiched between two condemned factories. The windows were all boarded up, and the only entrances were on the ground floor in the front and back of the building. He couldn't see how many doors connected the building to the two factories, but he could guess there were more than a few.

There was nothing wrong with the location, they'd broken into similar places before no problem. The issue was the date. It was the anniversary of Harley releasing the Joker from Arkham, a date he'd never forget. They never did either, and always pulled some massive stunt on that day. It made him nervous. This could easily be a trap, it's happened before. But even when it was a trap, Harley's information was still good. He was torn between springing it and possibly letting the Joker go through with his planned destruction.

His musings were cut short when he heard a loud crash, followed by a string of swears, Damian yelling, and Jason's high pitched laughter. He ran into the garage where Tim lay in the middle of several knocked over bikes, Damian still poised from his strike that sent Tim flying. All that could be seen of Jason was his boots, as he'd been leaning on one of the convertibles and fell backwards into it when he started laughing.

"You're a plague on this household, Drake!" Damian cried, glaring at his brother through his mask. "I won't tolerate it any longer! You need to—ah!" In his ranting, Damian didn't even notice Batman coming up behind him, and was thus shocked when he was suddenly thrown over his father's shoulder and walked out of the garage. "Let me go, Father! He needs to die!"

"No killing," Batman droned like a mantra, depositing Damian next to the console and collapsing back in his seat. He took one more glance at his phone and buzzed Dick on the comm. "Nightwing, come in."

" _What's up, Bats?"_ came the swift reply. They could hear the wind whistling and knew he was out on his bike.

"Are you anywhere near 54th and Lexington?" he asked, earning him a raised eyebrow from Damian.

" _I can be."_

"There's and abandoned warehouse between two factories on 54th. Go check it out and report back. _Do not_ engage."

" _Roger, roger, over and out."_

Damian crossed his arms, watching his father very closely. He was a bit more than curious about where the random tips were coming from. The last time he asked, Batman just shrugged it off with his usual line of "I'm the world's greatest detective." Damian didn't buy it for a second. Even the world's greatest detective couldn't make evidence materialize out of thin air. He needed answers, and this time he came up with a slightly more tactful approach.

"That area of the city is pretty decayed," he said casually, returning to Angry Birds on his phone. "Expecting some trouble over there?"

"It's the anniversary of Joker's escape from Arkham. I always except trouble on this night," was Batman's terse answer.

"Why there?" Damian asked, trying to sound just conversational. There was an edge to his voice that Batman noticed in an instant.

"I've compiled a list of places with certain aspect that the Joker looks for when staging his… events," Batman said, not entirely lying. It was a mental list. "Wide open spaces, few entrances, lots of possible collateral damage. The warehouse fits."

"But why that one? Pretty specific, don't you think?" Damian was pressing his luck. Any second now his father would clam up.

"I'm following a pattern." Batman's tone signaled the end of the conversation and Damian cursed himself in his head. Nightwing's comm buzzed in and it grabbed everyone's attention.

" _Riddle me this, Batman,"_ Dick started with a small chuckle, doing his best impression of the Riddler. _"What's purple and green and full of smiles?"_

"That's our cue," Damian said with a sigh, tossing his phone on the console and heading for the batmobile.

"Stay put Nightwing," Batman said quickly, snatching the keys from Damian's hand. "We'll be right there." He saw Jason putting his helmet on out of the corner of his eye and rounded on his middle son. "You're not coming."

"I still have to repay the Joker for all the… fun," Red Hood snarled as he checked the clips on his guns. "You couldn't keep me home even if you tried."

"This is not up for discussion, you're not coming," Batman said in his 'my word is final' voice. The image of Jason dead in his arms at the Joker's hands still haunted his nightmares. He saw Tim getting ready too and turned towards him, his mouth set in a deep frown. "Neither are you."

"Someone's gotta keep Jason in line," Red Robin replied with a smirk. "Besides you're not the only one with a beef with the Joker. We all gotta take our pound of flesh, so to speak."

"I will literally take a pound of flesh," Robin said as he jumped into the passenger's seat.

"And I'll take his head." Red Hood grinned under his helmet and drove off, barely hearing Batman's cry of "no killing" as he sped off into the night.

* * *

Nightwing sat perched on a roof across the street, binoculars up to his eyes in heat vision mode. He could see guards up on the catwalks, by both entrances, walking around on the floor and one on the roof facing the back door. The most distinctive thing he saw, though, was large heat signatures coming from the basement. They were long and cylindrical, and he could only take guesses at what they might be. He watched one figure on the floor skipping around and knew it was Harley. Usually his heart would start racing when he spotted her, but that night he was in work mode. He remained calm and steady. The soft crunch of gravel behind him alerted him to Batman's presence on the roof.

"I think he's got bombs in the basement," Nightwing said, handing the binoculars to Batman. There was as second of silence and Batman nodded.

"I think you're right. Red Robin, we've got bombs in the basement. Think you can slip in and disarm them?" Batman called into the comms, earning a shocked look from Nightwing.

"Tim's here?!" he hissed, looking around frantically for his brother.

"And Todd," Robin muttered, coming to perch on Nightwing's other side. "They insisted."

" _I'll need a distraction,"_ came Red Robin's reply. They saw a flash of red on the warehouse's rooftop and the guard watching from above went down in a heap. _"This place is crawling with guards."_

"Wait!" Nightwing hissed, looking down at the street. A caravan of black vans pulled up outside the warehouse. He snatched his binoculars back and tried to find a familiar face. When he did, he groaned and said into the comm, "Carmine Falcone is here."

" _I'm gonna kill two birds with one stone,"_ came the far too giddy reply from Red Hood. _"Or one bullet, rather. You need a distraction, little bro, you've got it."_

They were honestly expecting Jason to open fire on the mobsters. So when he strolled out of the darkness with a wave, his jacket zipped up, they all let out a collective breath.

"Falcone you son of a bitch, what are you doing here?" Red Hood asked with a laugh, his grin hidden by the helmet.

"Red Hood." Falcone didn't seem at all disturbed that he was there, instead greeting him with a firm handshake. "Last I heard you were in prison."

"I heard the Clown's in town," he said with a shrug, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I just couldn't pass up an opportunity to get some well-deserved revenge."

"I would ask you wait for that revenge until after I've been paid," Falcone said with a chuckle. The entire criminal underworld knew of Red Hood's history with the Joker. "Be a good boy and I might just cut you in on the deal."

"How much we talking?" Even from ten stories up and across the street, he could hear Dick's head smack into his palm.

"Oh I think fifteen percent couldn't go amiss." Falcone looked to another man who was holding a ledger and he nodded.

"Make it thirty and I'll let you in on a juicy little secret." The shouts that came over the comm nearly deafened him. He reached up, looking for all the world like he was just adjusting his helmet, and turned the comm off. Falcone looked back at his ledger man, who shook his head. He subtly turned the comm back on. "Your loss, my dude. I'll just wait out here then. Pleasure doing business with you." He clamped a hand down on Falcone's shoulder and nodded before heading back across the street.

"Hood what the hell are you doing?" Batman asked as he watched Red Hood slink back into the shadows.

" _Causing a distraction, getting a paycheck,"_ came the reply, followed by a chuckle, _"and bugging Falcone. Don't you wanna know what Joker's up to?"_

"You're sick, Todd," Robin huffed. "What did that accomplish?"

" _It got every guard to go to the front door,"_ Red Robin chimed in. _"I'm in."_

"Be careful," Batman said, turning to Nightwing and Robin. They sat patiently, poised nearly identically on the edge of the roof. He switched the frequency on his comm so he could listen through the bug Red Hood placed on Falcone's jacket.

"… _believe we set the price at 1.5 million."_

" _Chump change, Carmine old boy. That is… if it's good."_

" _I promise you, Joker, this is the best money can buy."_

" _Guys we got a problem."_ Nightwing tapped Batman's calf, pointing to the comm in his ear as Red Robin's voice came through.

"The bombs?" Nightwing asked hesitantly. He'd seen Tim disarm bombs before in a seconds. The fact that he said there was a problem put him immediately on edge.

"What's wrong, Drake, realized you're not as smart as you thought you were?" Robin snickered, earning glares from his father and brother.

" _It's on a biometric security system,"_ Red Robin replied, ignoring Robin's remarks. _"This isn't fingerprints or faces or anything nearly as simple. There's a DNA component that I can't hack. It's got a remote detonator. The only way to stop these bombs it to make sure Joker's fingers never hits that trigger."_

"So we've got our work cut out for us then," Robin said, standing and stretching his arms over his head. "I'm thinking we cut his hands off. How's that sound?"

"Tempting," Nightwing said with a grin that didn't falter when he felt Batman's eyes on him. "What? It's not killing."

"He's a bad influence on you," Batman muttered, raising his own binoculars to his eyes.

Before they could say more, gunfire rang out through the building. Red Robin's cry of "I've been made!" was heard through the comms and they all swooped into action. Batman, Robin, and Nightwing all grappled to the building's roof, crashing in through one of the higher windows and landing gracefully on the ground. Falcone and his goons were in the process of running out and Batman gritted his teeth. There were bigger fish to fry that night.

The Joker stood in the middle of the empty warehouse, duffle bags full of cocaine sitting next to him on the ground. Harley Quinn was unwrapping herself from around him, picking up the oversized mallet that sat on the ground. They wore identical grins as the Joker pulled a crowbar from beneath his coat.

"Well, well, well, I wondered when you'd arrive, Batsy," the Joker called, laughing his bone chilling laugh. "But I'm afraid I don't have time to play with you right now. Boys!"

Shots rang out from every corner of the warehouse as the Joker's goons rained bullets on the heroes. They scattered in three different directions. Batman mad a beeline for the Joker, Robin ran towards the door to the basement, and before Nightwing could round on Joker's other side Harley was swinging her mallet at him. He back flipped away, grabbing the escrima sticks of his back and charging them up. He'd never get in close enough to use them on Harley, but he easily could on the goons running towards him. They surrounded him in seconds, closing in all at once with the idea of beating him to a pulp. Instead he slammed the tops ends of his sticks together, sending electric arcs shooting out and connecting with the guns they still carried. More than half of them went down with the electrocution. Three still stood and charged again. He just flipped over them, two crashing into each other as he landed on the third's shoulders, jamming one of the sticks in his neck and sending a shock that could knock out an elephant. As the thug collapsed he saw Harley's mallet coming down towards his head. He raised his sticks in an x and caught the mallet an inch from his head.

"When are you running away with me, doll?" he asked with a charming grin. Asking her was habit at this point. He took a moment to scrutinize her and felt his heart sink. He could see her pupils blown wide under her domino mask, so much so that he could barely see any blue. She was drugged. _'Not again,'_ he thought, his smile slipping off his face as he struggled to his feet.

"Only in ya dreams, bird-breath!" she snapped kicking him in the chest before he was steady. His grip faltered long enough for her to raise her mallet up again, slamming it into his chest and sending him sprawling across the floor, his sticks flying from his grasp.

Nightwing was suddenly very glad Batman insisted on armoring his suit. He'd be completely black and blue in the morning, but at least his ribs didn't break. He jackknifed to his feet just in time to dodge another swing of the mallet. That thing might be powerful, but it was slow, and he managed to get under it on the next swing. His elbow connected with her hard, making her cry out as she dropped her weapon and stumble back a few paces. Pressing his advantage he returned the favor and slammed his heel into her diaphragm. She went reeling back, coughing as she tried to get her breath back, and stumbled right into the Joker's waiting arms. He promptly held a knife to her throat, making both heroes stop in their tracks.

"So sorry, Harley _doll_ , but play time's over," the Joker laughed, pulling her towards the backdoor with him. "It's time for my grand exit and I need your help." He jammed a bomb onto her stomach, pressing a button and extending spider like legs that dug into her abdomen. She screamed as blood spurted from the wounds. When he pulled back his hand, they could see a timer counting down from 45. He whispered into her ear, "This is for going behind my back with bird-brain over there." His laugh sent her blood running cold and he looked back at Batman. "Toodles."

He threw Harley into them and made a beeline for the door. Nightwing grabbed her, urging Batman to follow the Joker. After another moment of hesitation, Batman ran off in pursuit. Nightwing immediately started fiddling with the device, but he didn't know a single thing about defusing bombs. His only goal was to get it off her. She was bleeding profusely, and quickly fell to her knees, wobbling and light headed. He tried to pull it out, but her scream stopped him.

"Lee, I need you to stay completely still, okay?" he pleaded, watching her nod weakly. He pulled out a mini torch and quickly got the legs off. It dropped into his hand and he threw it aside, pulling her arm over his shoulder. "Come on, it's time to run."

They didn't get far. The bomb blew, triggering the ones in the basement. Batman watched in horror as the building blew up, his slip letting the Joker escape. He had passed Robin and Red Robin on his way out and knew they were both safe. He was sure that Red Hood wouldn't step foot in a building he knew was rigged to blow. That only left…

"Nightwing!" Batman called over the comms. There was no answer and panic quickly set in. When he tried to run back into the building, his two youngest had to hold him back. Just in time too, because the back door collapsed in a heap right when he should have been running under it. He fell to his knees, one of his sons on either side, as they watched the building burn.

Inside, Nightwing was once again grateful for the armor. It had taken the brunt of the explosion and saved him from what should have been grievous injury. The Joker's bombs were not nearly as powerful as they could have been, and while the building was a wreck he was alive. His ears were ringing and his vision was mostly white, he was sure he had a concussion, but otherwise he was fine. As his vision slowly returned, he became aware that most of the structure was burning and parts were collapsing left and right. He tried to get up and his vision swam, head throbbing, so he rolled onto his stomach and propped himself up on his forearms.

' _One more thing to tick off in Never Have I Ever,'_ he thought morbidly. He shook his head, trying to get back to himself, when his eyes landed on Harley.

She didn't have the advantage of armor (she barely had clothes) and Nightwing saw what the explosion was supposed to do. Burns and blood covered her body as she lay there, both legs and her left arm at awkward angles to her body. Adrenaline flooded Nightwing's system and he scrambled to his feet, gathering her up gently in his arms. He fumbled for a pulse, ripping his glove off with his teeth to make it easier. It was weak, and she was barely breathing. He struggled to his feet and was suddenly aware that he wasn't injury free. A large piece of metal stuck out of his side and he had to stop himself from pulling it out, since it was staunching the flow of blood. He took care to lift her in a way that wouldn't jostle the piece or her too badly and moved as quickly as he could out of the building.

Batman and the two Robins had since made their way around to the front, where they found Jason sitting in the shadows across the street, knees pulled to his chest, arms wrapped around his head, and eyes squeezed shut. He was muttering nonsense to himself that Batman couldn't make heads or tails of, but it was repeating. He had to assume it was some kind of mantra to help him deal with stress. Jason had a problem with fire since he was blown up.

They both looked up when they heard Red Robin's shout. Nightwing was stumbling out of the building with Harley in his arms. Batman's breath left him in a rush as he ran over, catching both of them just before they hit the ground. Nightwing was just grateful to be outside. He had hoped the air would be cool, but he was still too close to the building. Another wave of heat washed over him as more of the building collapsed. The last thing he saw was a very bright light before he finally passed out.


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: HOLY HELL am I late this update. Sorry guys. Life. Anyway, enjoy the update~~ I promise I'll try not to be so late next time._

* * *

Chapter 5

The Watchtower was in complete chaos. It had been bad enough when, after Batman demanded use of the emergency teleport, that he showed up with both Nightwing and Harley Quinn inches from death. They had both been rushed to the infirmary wing and doctors worked frantically to get them stable.

At one point Dick had woken up and fought the doctors tooth and nail to be near Harley. Even Batman had trouble holding onto him. They ended up having to sedate him, much to Batman's chagrin. After a heated debate, it was decided to move Dick into Harley's room as well to avoid further disruptions. They didn't count on Batman throwing all of the doctors and nurses out. They also didn't count on him locking himself into the recovery room with the two.

The ruckus got the attention of Superman, Flash, and Green Lantern, who promptly rushed down to the infirmary. That's where they were when Wonder Woman arrived, having run over when she was told what happened. They were pounding on the door, but there was no answer behind it.

"Batman, you need to let the doctors in!" Superman cried, a vein pulsing in his brow. Batman had always been the most difficult to deal with, but this was just childish.

"We can always rip the door off," Green Lantern offered, his ring glowing at the suggestion.

"That'll just send the whole tower into lockdown mode, you know that," Superman chided, turning to Flash. "Can't you phase through the door or something?"

"Don't you remember who built this place?" Flash said with a shrug and a sigh. "Bats designed the walls so I couldn't do exactly that."

"Please, we have to get in there," a doctor pleaded, clipboard clutched to her chest. "We need to check their vitals every twenty minutes. They're still not out of the woods yet. The slightest change could mean death!"

"Maybe I can help," Wonder Woman offered, pushing Superman aside.

"What makes you think you can do any better?" Lantern asked stubbornly, crossing his arms over the lantern on his chest.

"Never underestimate a woman's touch, GL," Flash said with a chuckle. "She _is_ marrying him, remember?"

' _If we can ever settle on a date…'_ she thought grimly. She took a breath, looking around at the gathered assembly. She'd heard them all calling for Batman. With one last look to confirm that yes, everyone in earshot did know his secret identity, she gently knocked on the door. "Bruce? It's Diana. Will you please let me in?"

There was a moment of silence.

The lock disengaged.

The doctor was poised to rush in, but Diana put up a hand, silently asking for a moment. She opened the door just enough to slide inside and closed it quickly, locking it again. Bruce was slumped in a chair between the two beds, his cowl pulled down. Though it was a shock to see it, he never had his cowl down on the Watchtower, she realized why he hadn't been responding to Batman. She walked over to him, kneeling in front of the chair to get into his line of sight. He was almost bent over double, and she could just see his tear streaked cheeks. It was the most vulnerable she'd ever seen him and she was glad of her decision to keep the door locked.

"Bruce?" Diana asked, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

He snorted, not looking up at her. "Am I alright?" he echoed, scrubbing his face with his hands. "My sister and my son are dying on either side of me and you're asking if _I'm_ alright?"

' _Sister?'_ she thought, a little confused but she'd let it slide for now. "They're not going to die," Diana offered with a small but not so confident smile. "They're both fighters."

"This is all my fault, Di," he whispered, shaking his head. "I'm responsible. I dragged them into this…"

"You didn't set those bombs," Diana countered, her grip on his shoulder tightening. "I can't speak for Harley… but you and Dick have done so much good for Gotham. I'm sure if you asked him, he wouldn't have changed the last fifteen years for anything."

Slowly Bruce picked up his head, locking eyes with his fiancé. She gave him a soft smile and he sighed, dropping his head again. "I can't watch them die like this, Diana…"

"Then you need to let the doctors in so they can do their jobs."

Bruce didn't move right away and Diana was worried that she might have angered him. Instead he pulled her into his arms and held on tight, like she was his only lifeline into sanity. He buried his face in her hair and all she could do was hug him back. She brought a hand up to his slightly matted hair and stroked it gently. His breath hitched a few times like he was trying to stop himself from crying more and it broke Diana's heart. He was always so strong and confident, she had no idea what to do with him broken like this. So she just pressed a gentle kiss into his hair and gave him a little squeeze.

"What would I do without you, Di?" he asked softly, getting his breathing under control.

"Crash and burn, love," she said with a chuckle as he loosened his grip enough to place a gently kiss on her lips. "Crash and burn."

"Without a doubt." He stood with her and took another deep breath before pulling his cowl back on. It was like a flip was switched. All of the unease and nervousness was gone in a second, replaced by the cool, calm demeanor of Batman. With the cowl up one couldn't even tell that he'd been crying. He unlocked the door and left without as much as a backwards glance.

* * *

Dick was up and moving again the next day. His armor really had saved his life and the metal stuck in his side, while terrifying at the time, hadn't caused any internal damage. He was stitched up and warned off any strenuous activity for a while. That wouldn't be too hard, he'd just gotten blown up. 'Strenuous activity' was the last thing on his mind. Despite having a bedroom offered to him, he instead pulled up a chair and sat by Harley's side. According to her chart, she was lucky to be alive. Two broken legs, dislocated shoulder, second and third degree burns, 6 fractured ribs, 3 broken, various spots of internal bleeding, and more cuts and scrapes than Blackgate has inmates. The only thing that saved her life was in the cocktail of drugs the Joker gave her. There was a compound that sped up the healing process and had begun to work seconds after the initial blast.

"You know it's only a matter of time, right?" Dick asked at one point, looking up at Batman. He'd been coming in periodically to check on them and had taken up position on the opposite side of the bed from Dick. "That withdrawal is gonna kick in soon."

"Despite how many times I've been right, these damn fool doctor's won't listen to me," Batman grumbled. "They refuse to restrain her until they see a reason for it."

Dick closed his eyes and shuddered. He remembered the very first time they had to try and dry Harley out. It had been a few years into their crusade when they captured her and convinced Gordon to let them have her instead of the police. They knew the Joker was drugging her, they just never expected the reaction her withdrawal would have. The very first thing she did was try to throw herself into one of the many caverns in the batcave. Even bringing her up to the manor, her suicide attempts became more frequent and violent until the finally had to strap her down to her bed. After that she just screamed for three days straight. Dick never got those screams out of his head. Once she stopped, the next four days consisted of her reciting word for word every single work of Shakespeare while she stared blankly at the ceiling. They were finally able to release her from her bonds after seven days and she walked around the manor like a zombie until she just vanished.

Dick had been 13 at the time.

They had to dry her out 5 more times over the following years and it never got easier. Each bout was longer and more violent as Joker's drugs became stronger. It had been more than three years since they were last able to get her clean, and Dick knew the Joker had been developing something very strong. He wasn't looking forward to the next two weeks.

"Should we tell Superman?" he asked, reaching down to gently take Harley's hand. "He'd be able to keep her down until the doc's decide that restraints are a good idea."

"No," was the terse reply. "This stays between us."

"Speaking of things staying between us…" Batman gave him a warning look, and Dick turned to make sure the door was closed. "How much longer are you going to keep this family tree secrete from Diana?"

Batman shrugged. "Can't be too much longer. Once she's well enough I want to bring her back to the manor to finish recovering."

"Is that a good idea with... everyone at home?" Damian's face floated across his mind and he shuddered. He didn't want to see what the little demon would try to do.

"I'm sure they'll be gone by the time we bring her."

"Never underestimate your sons' desire to cause trouble."

"Does that include you?"

Dick opened his mouth to make a smart remark, but he was cut short when Harley's hand squeezed his. He looked up hopefully, but his smile slid off his face when he saw hers contorted in pain. It was only another second before a blood curdling scream made his blood run cold. Batman was up in an instant, holding down her shoulders as she started to thrash violently. Dick pressed himself down on her abdomen, worried that if he put pressure on her legs they wouldn't heal properly. It was a poor choice as her one good hand came up to claw at his face, nails digging deep enough into his cheek to draw blood. He grabbed her hand, holding it as far away from himself as possible while he slammed the nurse call button. She managed to wiggle her hand free and swiped again. He took a step back to dodge it, but ended up tripping over the chair he'd occupied seconds before. Tumbling to the ground, he fell his stitches rip out and blood gushed from the wound.

The doctors chose that moment to run in, sedatives and restraints in hand. A nurse helped Dick out of the way and frantically tended his wounds while the doctors and Batman struggled to get Harley under control. Dick watched, bleary eyed as the adrenaline started to wear off and the pain from his wound returned. He heard the doctors all cry out as Harley tried to launch herself off the bed. The last thing he remembered he was the doctors asking for more sedatives before exhaustion overcame him and he blacked out.

Harley hadn't stopped screaming once.

* * *

 _Next Chapter Preview:_

 _"Bruce this family is cursed!" Jason wailed, falling over dramatically on the table. "Two Robins have been blown up by the Joker. It's just a matter of time! All hope is lost!" His mock crying stopped when the pepper shaker hit it head. "Hey!"_

* * *

 _AN: Short one this time, sorry guys. Longer next time!_


	6. Chapter 6

_AN: I think what we need to take away from these late updates is that I am updating and that if it's ever on time know something is horrible wrong XD_

 _Dick's such a cutie pie this week. And the BatBros are at it again~ ENJOY_

* * *

Chapter 6

Diana nervous wrung her hands as she walked slowly towards the infirmary. It had been a long few days between Harley's withdrawal and Dick's slow recovery. Everyone in the Watchtower was on edge. The screams from the infirmary were heard through the entire tower and they lasted for days with no signs of stopping. Eventually the doctors decided to induce a coma. Without the worry of Harley waking up, Bruce had taken the opportunity to go back to Gotham. Despite being well enough to go with him, Dick had stayed stubbornly by Harley's side.

"Dick, it's me, I'm coming in," she said, pushing the door open. He, at least, understood the importance of keeping the door unlocked. She saw he hadn't moved since she had last seen him that morning. Still sitting by her side, still holding her hand, still awake. Shaking her head, she came to rest a hand on his shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze. "You should go home, Dick. You've earned a good night's sleep."

"I can't," he said softly, his voice cracking from disuse. "I can't go back now. What if she wakes up? She'll be all alone and scared… I can't do that to her."

"Dick…" Diana sat on the edge of the bed, cupping his face in her hands. He looked absolutely terrible. The dark circles under his eyes were so large he almost looked like a raccoon. While the scratches on his cheeks were healing, they were still red and raw and ugly. "They induced a coma. That means she's not going to wake up until they _wake her up_. And I will make sure that you and Bruce are here before they do that." Dick just nodded slowly. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm sure I look worse than I feel," he said with a small chuckle, running a hand through his greasy hair. He looked down at his wound and gave Diana a ghost of his usual boyish smile. "They got me on the good stuff. Can't feel a thing."

Diana chuckled as well, glad to see a smile on his face even if it was a bit forced. "Your brothers will be glad to hear that. They're all waiting for you to come home. Damian's been worried sick. He hasn't said anything, but he keeps wandering over to your room and looking in, like you're going to just appear. He seems a little lost…" She trailed off, watching Dick's face carefully. There was something nagging at the back of her mind. "Why do you care so much about her?" she asked, nodding towards Harley. "She's done nothing but try to kill you and Bruce for years."

"She's family," Dick said absently, eyes tracing over Harley's face. "Bruce is gonna be reluctant to tell you this, but you kinda need to know. She's his cousin, but they grew up really close like brother and sister. I've known her since I was ten years old. She's…" he took a pause, brows knitting together as he tried to find the right words. "There's just something about her. I hope you get to see it. She lights up a room, Di. She'll waltz in and you just get this feeling that everything's… great. Her smile can make you feel invincible. It's her own little superpower. And she's brilliant to boot. Smart and witty and funny… She doesn't deserve this. She deserves a chance at a real life full of… everything."

"That's why you keep asking her to run away," Diana said with a smile, watching as his own face lit up as he spoke about her. His exhaustion melted away and a real soft smile graced his lips. She knew that look. "You really love her, don't you?"

The look of shock he gave her made her chuckle. "Don't tell Bruce," he pleaded, nervously running a hand through his hair. "He's not gonna understand. He thinks it's just a childhood crush, and maybe it is, I don't know. But I really like her."

"My lips are sealed," Diana promised with a confident nod. "But tell me something… You said she and Bruce grew up together… How old is she?"

"Almost 40 I think. She's a year or so older than Bruce."

"40?! She looks like she's 20!"

"And there's the Joker's fucked up logic once again." Dick's face hardened, a deep frown coming to his lips. "He wanted her to stay young and beautiful and limber forever. We have no idea how he did it… but he stopped her from aging. For all intents and purposes, she'll forever be 25. Bruce has been trying to figure out how to reverse it for years, but no luck yet."

Diana looked down at Harley again, silently reevaluating everything she knew about this woman. She could understand how something like that could screw a person up. She was an Amazon, functionally immortal and never aging, but that was her biology. Coming to earth had been a shock at first. Watch how rapidly humans aged was disorienting and she never fully got used to it. She's watched her friends age while she remains ever the same. She's even watched Bruce get a few more lines in his face and grey hair that he stubbornly covered up. Absently, she brushed a piece of blonde hair away from Harley's face. That poor girl.

"I'll sit with her for a while, Dick. You should go home and get some rest," Diana offered, taking Harley's hand from him and holding it firmly. He was about to protest, but she held up a hand. "No buts. Go home, sleep, take a shower, and eat. I don't care what order you do them in, but Alfred is under strict instructions not to let you leave until all three things are completed. Now go."

Her tone left no room for arguments and Dick knew it. He also knew she was strong enough to make him go even if he didn't want to. So he stood, pressed a soft kiss to Harley's temple with a whispered promise to return, and slipped his mask on. Diana shook her head when she saw it. Bruce conditioned all his sons to keep their identities a secret, even from other heroes, and she thought it completely ridiculous. She took Dick's vacated seat and a deep breath, settling in for a long evening.

"Looks like you've got this mothering thing down pretty good, huh?" Superman's voice floated into the room and Diana looked up to see him walking in.

"I've got it easy, Bruce already did all the hard work," she said with a soft smile. "He raised four wonderful boys all by himself. I just follow his lead."

"Speaking of that…" Superman said carefully, giving her a critical look. She raised a brow at him. "Have you told him yet? You're running out of time."

"Soon," she whispered, looking over Harley once again. "He doesn't need another distraction right now."

* * *

Dick had chosen (or rather Diana had chosen for him) a very good time to return to the manor. It was nearly midnight and Batman, Robin, and Red Robin were out on patrol while Jason slept like the dead in his room. Alfred was the only one awake, reiterating to Dick Diana's instructions. He was tempted to go right to bed, but the loud growling of his stomach had Alfred marching him up to the kitchen for food.

' _God bless Alfred Pennyworth,'_ Dick had thought when the smell of food hit his nostrils. Alfred had made his favorite, an Italian baked macaroni and cheese with bacon. It absolutely hit the spot. He realized exactly how hungry he when the first bite hit his tongue and he ended up eating the entire thing. He felt stuffed and joked that Alfred would need to roll him away.

He didn't need to be rolled, but he felt like he was waddling back to his room. He had been planning on showering, but as soon as he saw his bed he collapsed, asleep before his head hit the pillow. No dreams or nightmares upset his sleep that night, just a long black out that he desperately needed.

It was the kind of sleep so deep that when you wake up you forget what century it is. That's how he felt when he awoke more than 24 hours later. Dazed and confused and barely able to remember his own name. The first thing he saw was the face of Damian's Great Dane Titus inches from his own. He didn't even move, feeling sore all over, and let Titus give him a slobbery lick right up the middle of his face. Though he liked the dog, Dick could do without the slobbering.

It took him another ten good minutes to actually get out of bed. He was finally feeling that explosion as the meds he had taken wore off. Everything hurt. Glancing down at his phone and realizing it was long since dead, he plugged it in and went to take a long shower. The hot water helped to ease his stiffness, and he was glad that the manor had the largest hot water tank known to man. He was in the shower for over an hour, letting the stress of the last few days swirl down the drain. It was refreshing and he felt like new when he finally got out. The last few steps he took on autopilot, brushing his teeth, shaving off a few days of stubble, redressing his wound, and getting dressed. He opted for grey sweatpants and a wife beater, far too lazy for real clothes, and headed down to the dining room for breakfast. His timing was perfect as Alfred was just serving everyone else.

Bruce sat in his usual spot at the head on the table, newspaper in one hand and coffee cup in the other. Even he looked much better than the last time Dick saw him and he could only assume Diana had forced him back home as well. He wore a freshly pressed suit and his briefcase sat next to him on the floor, an obvious sign he planned on going into the office. Damian was at his left, picking at his eggs while he slipped Titus a piece of bacon under the table. He was also well dressed, in a black turtleneck and slacks, probably planning on sneaking into the office with Bruce. Jason sat next to him, looking half asleep as cradled a cup of coffee like a newborn child. His wild hair hung in his eyes and he'd put about as much thought into his clothes as Dick did. Tim sat across from Jason, as far from Damian as possible without being rude to his family, and the only one who looked actually awake for the time of the morning. Ever the teenager, he'd pulled on a Big Bang Theory graphic tee and jeans and was playing on his phone as he ate. Dick took his usual seat next to Tim, to Bruce's right. The scraping of his chair alerted everyone to his presence and they were suddenly much more awake.

"So Diana shamed you too, huh?" Bruce asked, folding his newspaper up and shoving in his briefcase. Dick just nodded as he Alfred served him. "How are you feeling?"

"A hundred times better," Dick said, thanking Alfred and tearing into his eggs.

"Titus didn't leave your side once you got home," Damian said, not looking up from his plate. "He was worried you'd died, you were sleeping so long."

 _I was worried_ is what Dick heard and he gave Damian a soft smile. "I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, kiddo." Damian just huffed, making his brothers chuckle. If there was one person Dick would make sure he always came back for, it was his youngest brother.

"Bruce this family is cursed!" Jason wailed, falling over dramatically on the table. "Two Robins have been blown up by the Joker. It's just a matter of time! All hope is lost!" His mock crying stopped when the pepper shaker hit it head. "Hey!"

"That's not funny, Jay," Tim chastised him, looking over at his father and eldest brother. Bruce didn't seem phased, but Dick looked worried. He put a hand on Dick's shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile. It seemed to do the trick, and the worried look slid off Dick's face. "You up for some sparring later? It's been a while."

"Too long," Dick agreed. "But I can't. Stitches, remember?"

"You can always spar with me, Drake," Damian offered, a sly grin coming to his face. "And I can kick your ass like always."

"You cheat," was Tim's response as he stick his nose in the air. "You purposely cover your suit in cat fur."

"I thought you finished the allergy shots?" Bruce asked with a raised eyebrow.

"They didn't take," Tim said with a shrug. "It happens. But _he_ is determined to kill me with that flea bitten feline!"

"You're the one with fleas!" Damian snapped, grabbing his knife by instinct. He didn't even notice when Bruce slipped it out of his hand. "You should be treated like any flea ridden animal and kept outside!"

"That's enough!" Bruce shouted, rubbing his temples to ward off the oncoming headache. Much as he liked having all of his boys home, he could do without the fighting.

"Tell that to your demon spawn!" Tim cried, jolting up from his seat. "He's the problem, not me!"

"It's too early for this bullshit," Jason muttered, blankly staring into his coffee like it contained the meaning of life.

"I'm telling _both of you_ to knock it off!" Bruce snapped again, making Tim drop back down into his seat. "Jason, watch your mouth. I'm going into the office today and then to the Watchtower this evening. I'm leaving Dick in charge. I swear to God, if I find out you guys started fighting, I will kick all of your asses from here to kingdom come. Do I make myself clear?" There was a round of muttered 'yes, sir's' and Bruce nodded, content. "Good. Then I'll see you all tomorrow. Dick, it's good to have you home."

"Good to be home," Dick said with a nod as Bruce gathered his things and left. There was a moment of silence as Dick looked between Tim and Damian. Bruce's threats never stopped them from fighting before.

"Sooooo…" Jason drawled, breaking the tense silence. "Who wants to throw a wild house party?" He was promptly bombarded with napkins and almost fell out of his chair laughing.

* * *

 _Next Chapter Preview:_

 _"A likely story," Dick said suspiciously, turning to Jason. "And what do you have to say for yourself?"_

 _"I say I just saw hell in the barbeque," Jason sneered, ruffling up his hair to hide how badly it was charred._

* * *

 _AN: I just realized that all my chapters are king of short. And every preview thus far has had Jason being an idiot XD. Stay tuned!_


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's notes: What's this? An **early** update?! EGADS_

 _lol Anyway, we've got more BatBro Shenanigans (T) and WonderBat fluff coming your way this week! ENJOY_

* * *

Chapter 7

Regret.

That was the only emotion in Dick's mind as he turned his phone back on. He had over three dozen missed calls. They were evenly split between Gordon, Mike, and Barbara (with a couple thrown in from Wally and one from Raven) but every voicemail was from Barbara. They were increasingly more frantic until the last message, where she just asked him to call her when he got back to earth. He figured Bruce talked to her and decided to call her back last. The last thing he needed was her yelling at him, especially when he had to keep a close eye on his brothers. Damian had disappeared after breakfast with Titus while Tim and Jason were doing… something in the batcave. Dick figured as long as nothing broke they couldn't be doing anything too bad.

He was _very_ wrong. Like he warned Bruce against, he'd underestimated his brother's desire to cause trouble. He'd been on the phone with Wally, describing the chaos of the last few days to his friend when he happened to glance out the window.

"Wall… I gotta call you back," Dick breathed, eyes wide as he looked outside.

" _Need a hand? I can be there in a flash!"_ Wally said, his mirth clear through the phone.

"Yes, please," Dick said as he ended the call and marched outside. "What the actual fuck are you guys doing?!"

The ground was literally on fire. Jason was smacking embers off his jacket, one eyebrow almost completely gone and hair singed. Damian lay in the pool, floating on his back fully clothed and grouchy as ever. Tim looked like he was near to going into anaphylactic shock as Alfred the cat ran back into the house. Thankfully, Wally appeared at Dick's side a couple of second later.

"Geez, you guys really know how to party!" Wally chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. He turned to Dick, whispering, "So which one's the psychopathic murderer you mentioned?"

"Take your pick," Dick said with a sigh as he ran over to Tim. He blessed his own common sense to carry a mini epi-pen with him and injected it into his brother's thigh. "Wally, can you take Tim up to his room please? Third floor in east wing, second door on the right."

"You got it!" There was a flash of yellow and they were gone, Wally reappearing a second later with a grin. "So that's how the other half lives, huh? Swanky place you got here."

"Thank you, it will be mine one day," Damian said as he finally climbed out of the pool. He started ringing out his clothes, glaring at Wally. "And you are?"

"Wally West," he said with a smile, holding out his hand. Damian just glared at him. "Nice to meet you too, I guess."

"Wall, this is Damian, Bruce's spawn," Dick said before pointing to Jason. "And that's the disappointment of the family."

"Charmed!" Jason called, distracted as he ran a hand through his hair to assess the damage.

"What happened here?" Dick asked, staring Damian down. He knew at least that his youngest brother would tell the truth. Or most of it. "I left for twenty minutes to make a phone call. Can you really not be trusted for twenty minutes?"

"It wasn't my fault!" Damian protested, crossing his arms over his chest. "I was walking Titus when he saw a squirrel and freaked out. It spooked Alfred. He took off and I followed him. Next thing I know I'm being blasted back into the pool!"

"A likely story," Dick said suspiciously, turning to Jason. "And what do you have to say for yourself?"

"I say I just saw hell in the barbeque," Jason sneered, ruffling up his hair to hide how badly it was charred. "I don't know what happened. The fucking thing wouldn't turn on. I thought it was a loose connection so I knelt down to take a look. Then Tim's flipping his shit and he kicked the grill and the whole thing went up. I was engulfed in a fireball. I saw my whole life flash before my eyes. I thought I was gonna die. Someone feel bad for me, please."

"Too bad it didn't kill you," Damian growled. Dick's head smacked loudly into his palm. "It would have done us all a favor!"

"Only you, Jay," Dick said with a sigh. "Damian go dry off. Jay… Put the cigarettes away and go inside. Try not to kill each other on the way!"

The two grumbled, but went inside, Damian leaving a wet trail behind him. Dick ran a hand through his hair, looking down to see his fingers covered in his own hair. Wally laughed, ruffling up his own wind swept red mane.

"That's stress, dude," Wally grinned, running around the fire to put it out. "You need to chill."

"Easy for you to say. You don't have three brothers constantly at each other's throats." They started to make their way inside and Dick sighed heavily. He collapsed sideways onto one of the high backed chairs, head dangling over one of the armrests. Wally dropped onto the couch and sprawled out, nestling into one of the plush pillows. "Something I didn't get to tell you on the phone… They're gonna wake Harley up in a couple days."

Wally sat straight up, green eyes staring intently at Dick. He knew only bits and pieces of the history between them, as much as Dick could say without giving away family secretes. "Isn't that really soon?" he asked, racking his brain. "Didn't you tell me it would take like three weeks?"

"Hot shot Metropolis doctors, bro," Dick said with a sigh. "Apparently they work miracles."

"Are you doing alright, man?" he asked, concerned about his best friend. He didn't respond right way and Wally gritted his teeth. "Richard."

"I could have saved her," he muttered, squeezing his eyes shut. "I should have… Wally, I should have gotten that thing off her… I could have shielded her, I could have gotten her out, I could have done something…!"

"Dude… you can't blame yourself for this," Wally said softly, giving him a concerned look. "Can't live in the past worrying about all the 'what ifs'. There's a thousand things I could have done different, but there's no use sulking about it. So what are you gonna do now?"

Dick shrugged, righting himself in his chair and shaking his head. "Bruce wants to bring her here to finish her recovery," Dick sighed, rubbing his temples. "Bring her _here_ , Wall. To limp and struggle and remind me of my failure every single day."

"Don't you have an apartment on the upper east side?" Wally asked, arching his eyebrow at Dick. "Why not just head back there for a while?"

"And leave Bruce to deal with the insanity here?" Dick chuckled a little, gesturing in the general area of the window. "You've seen what happens when they're left alone for a few minutes. Besides, I put her in this mess, I should be here to help her get out of it…"

"And because you're hopelessly head over heels," Wally laughed, leaning back on the couch. "Dick Grayson, always trying to do the right thing. Man you're such a pain."

* * *

Bruce returned in the wee hours of the morning, fully expecting the house to be burnt to the ground. He was pleasantly surprised (but still honestly surprised) to see it still standing. Alfred was up to greet him with a cup of coffee and a tip that they needed a new grill. He supposed it could have been worse and changed out of his suit, pulling on a turtleneck and slacks. As he came up from the elevator into the library, he stopped short and surveyed the scene before him.

The boys had tried to make a blanket fort. Half of it had collapsed at some point in the night and he wasn't sure he wanted to know what made it collapse. As he rounded the upturned couches, a smile came to his face. Damian slept curled up with Titus in the still erect part of the fort. Tim had burritoed himself in the extra blankets and was under a chair turned lean-to fort. Jason was spread eagle on his stomach, drooling into the carpet. He was surprised to see Wally West sleeping on the one still upright couch in the entire room. Dick was sitting up in a chair by the fireplace, head resting on his fist and looking for all the world like he fell asleep waiting up for him. There were empty hot dog and bun packages and all of the remnants of s'mores strewn around the fireplace. Nothing was destroyed or burnt down and they all seemed to be free of injuries.

"They had quite an eventful night, Master Bruce," Alfred said with a nod. "Master Dick did a masterful job keeping them all under control, sir. Also, Princess Diana is upstairs, but I believe she's still sleeping. Would you like me to wake her for you?"

"No, Alfred, thank you, I'll do it," Bruce said with a nod. "What were they doing all night?"

"They had a rousing game of tag in the garden," Alfred said, recalling all of the shenanigans of the day before. "Master Wally won every single round. Then they attempted to play human chess and gave up because they had far too few people. Oh, you're going to find an angry message from Miss Barbara on the answering machine, do ignore it, it's for Master Dick. You see the remains of the fort. Master Tim knocked it over when the cat got too close. It seems those shots did more harm than good."

"What a shame, that doctor came so highly recommended too," Bruce frowned. "Let's see if there's something that can be done. Else Damian's just going to torment him with the cat for the rest of his life."

"As you wish, Sir," Alfred nodded, writing a note on the pad in his breast pocket. "I'll have breakfast ready at seven. I would suggest you get some sleep, lest you face the princess's wrath."

"Hell hath no fury, Alfred."

He went straight up to his bedroom, closing the door silently as he slid inside. Diana was fast asleep in the large bed, the sheets bunched up around her waist. The lavender nightgown and her pale skin contrasted nicely with the dark blue sheets, her hair glowing almost blue in the moonlight. He took a second to just admire her pushing a stray strand of hair from her face and cupping her cheek gently. His very own goddess; he smiled at the thought. Looking at her then, he couldn't remember why he'd objected so much to their being together in the first place. Her brow twitched and her eyes slowly opened, focusing on him in an instant.

"Welcome home," she whispered, bringing her hand to his. "Come to bed, Bruce."

He brought her hand up and pressed a kiss to her palm. "As you wish."

Bruce had never really _liked_ sleeping. Even as a child he knew it was a waste of time. For the first five years or so after his parents died, he really couldn't sleep. Nightmares had tormented him well into his teenage years. Insomnia (as it was officially diagnosed) became a way of life. Even when he went off to begin his Batman training, when his masters beat him and worked him to the bone, sleep never came. Though it did give him an edge, as he spent the night time training while his fellow students slept. It certainly helped when he returned to Gotham to begin his crusade. He was able to function perfectly well at Wayne Enterprises during the day and be Batman at night without so much as an hour's rest.

Every one of his girlfriends hated it, however. They would whine and complain that they never got to wake up next to him or fall asleep in his arms, or any of the other variety of complaints that came with his night time habits. Even Selina, who also ran around Gotham during the night, found that never falling asleep together strained their relationship. It was one of the many reasons they broke up.

Diana understood. She never pressed him or complained. Once she told him that she was fine hogging his king sized bed as it reminded her of home. But something about her made him want to sleep. Perhaps it was the way she felt in his arms, or maybe he liked watching how the sun made her hair glow in the morning. She didn't have the most graceful wake up in the world, but it made him feel like this ethereal being was within his reach after all. He discovered he could actually fall asleep if she was with him, and he would feel more energized and refreshed after even just a couple of short hours. The first time he fell asleep with her was the first time he'd slept in more than 25 years.

Careful not to wake her any more than he already had, he quickly got ready for bed and slipped in beside her. She was in his arms in a second like a magnet attracting its mate. She snuggled in close, resting her head on his chest so she could listen to his heartbeat. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, breathing in the fragrant aroma of her shampoo, and was out like a light.

* * *

 _Next Chapter Preview:_

 _It was time to wake Harley up._

* * *

 _AN: I honestly think I like writing Bruce and Diana's relationship a bit more. It's mature, ya know? When this story concludes, there will be a WonderBat prequel. See you next chapter!_


	8. Chapter 8

_AN: So maybe I'll just update on Fridays now?_

 _This week Commish Gordon makes his grand entrance! And we get some sweet Harleywing fluff~! ENJOY_

* * *

Chapter 8

"Grayson! My office! NOW!"

Dick had barely taken a step inside the precinct before Gordon's voice was screaming for him. He cringed. After the explosion, he'd completely forgotten to let his boss know where he was and what was happening. As he slowly made his way towards the office, he could see the concerned looks of the other officers. The CSI team had gathered near the holding cells and were saluting him while loudly humming the funeral march on their nose flutes. Dick stepped into the office, closing the door securely behind him and bracing himself for being fired.

Instead of being yelled at, Gordon placed a hand on Dick's shoulder and gave him a smile. "You look good for being blown up."

Dick's breath left him in a rush and his shoulders slumped, head finding his hands in an instant. "Don't do that to me, Commissioner, please. I thought I was toast."

"You might still be when Barbara gets a hold of you," Gordon laughed, going back to his desk. "I told everyone I sent you under cover in the slums to find some dirt on Falcone and his drugs. You don't know anything, you didn't find anything. Understand?"

"Yes, Sir, thank you, Sir," Dick said with a grin, his heart rate dropping back to normal.

"You're lucky I like you, Grayson," Gordon said with a heavy sigh as he sunk into his chair. "If you were anyone else, you'd have been sacked so fast your head would spin. Fact is, between you working with the Bat and the fact you were supposed to be my son-in-law… Don't put me in a position like this again. If you can't call, get one of your lay about brothers to call."

"I will, I'm sorry, Sir," Dick said, nodding. Gordon looked back down at his paperwork, signaling the end of their conversation. Dick opened the door and paused halfway out. He looked back and said quietly, "I would have been honored to be your son-in-law."

With a heavy heart, Dick went back to his desk, head thumping down on the dark wood. If there was one thing he hated, it was being reminded of his failed relationship with Barbara. He did his best to put ancient history out of his mind as he turned his computer on and sifted through the mountain of paperwork on his desk. He didn't even realize Mike had sat down across from him until his heard his partner's shout and nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Well, well, well, my partner has returned from the dead!" Mike laughed as Dick's papers scattered everywhere in his shock. "Dude chill out. You look like a tightly wound rubber band about to snap."

"My brothers are home," was Dick's answer, gathering his reports and trying to organize them again. "They're driving me nuts. I'm gonna go home today and they'll all be dead."

"That bad huh?" Mike kicked his feet up his on his desk, opening up a file folder.

"Tim is allergic to cats, Mike," Dick started, feeling the frustration of the last two days start to bubble over. "Deathly allergic. Do you know what Damian has? A cat. And he hates Tim. And I've already had to administer his epi-pen to him five times since he came home because Damian is the spawn of Satan. Jason is _literally_ insane. Like yesterday, I saw him sitting in the den staring at the wall. He didn't move for four hours, Mike. Didn't even blink. Then he ran outside and jumped in the pool and walked back in like nothing happened. And don't even get me started on Diana. She burst into tears over a documentary about swans. Swans! And then she—what the hell are you doing?"

In his ranting, Dick didn't notice the dark shadow that came up behind him, but Mike did. He had been trying to subtly get his partner's attention, wide eyes fixed on the figure behind him. When Dick finally realized, he felt he auras of hell radiating off the demon behind him. Audibly gulping, he slowly turning, coming face to face with and absolutely livid Barbara Gordon.

"I have been trying to call you for days," she growled, making Dick feel two inches tall. "I was worried."

"Well I was undercover," Dick said slowly, very aware of all the eyes on him. "And last I checked, you weren't my keeper, or my girlfriend, or anything close to me needing to tell you where I am at all times. So sorry, I was busy. If you haven't noticed, I'm still busy, so if you don't mind." He poignantly turned his back on her, staring down at his paperwork and ignoring her existence. His words came out harsher than he'd intended, but it did the trick. Barbara stormed off and sound slowly returned to the precinct. He heard Mike's whistle and bit his lip. "That was uncalled for, wasn't it?"

"I'm gonna be shocked if you don't get fired," Mike said with a sigh, shaking his head. He quickly sat up straight, dramatically putting a hand to his ear. "What's that? We need to go out on patrol? Right now?" He winked at Dick and they both grabbed their coats.

* * *

It was time to wake Harley up.

Though it had been just over a week, most of Harley's injuries were already healed. Whatever the Joker had given her was powerful. There wasn't a trace of the burns left on her body and not a single scar from any of the many cuts she received. Her broken bones were all but healed, and the doctors informed them that the casts would be ready to come off any day.

They did warn, however, that while they were able to flush her system, there were trace remains of the Scarecrow's toxin still there. That had to leave her naturally. But it still left the problem that the toxin could affect her upon waking. It was decided that the best thing to do was for whoever was greeting her to do it in civies just in case. This caused quite the commotion, as Batman was never on the Watchtower with his _cowl_ _down,_ much less, _wearing civilian clothes_. Dick had absolutely no problem with it. While he arrived with his mask on (just to walk to the infirmary) he had on a V-neck t-shirt and jeans. Batman outright refused and wasn't even allowed in the room until they determined her mental state.

So there Dick sat, feeling far too exposed in his civies as he sat next to her on the bed, gently holding her hand in his. The only other person in the room was a woman by the name of Doctor Thompkins, one of the few who knew their identities outside of the Justice League and the only doctor Batman trusted implicitly. She fiddled with the dials, slowly bringing Harley out of her coma. Blue eyes fluttered open and Dick held his breath. Harley just stared at the ceiling for a little bit, squinting at the bright lights and trying to figure out where she was. Her eyes landed on Dick and a soft smile graced her lips. He kissed her hand, relief flooding his system as her hand squeezed his.

"Hey you," she croaked, her voice completely hoarse and shallow. She started coughing violently and Dick grabbed the nearby glass of water, holding the straw to her lips so she could drink.

"Hey you," he echoed as he set the glass back down. "Welcome back to the land of the living."

"I'll go get Bruce," Doctor Thompkins said with a smile. "Good to see you awake, dear."

She left the room and Dick helped Harley sit up a bit. It was slow going, she was in pain all over and her entire body was stiff. She could only manage to guess where she was, and the answers she came up with wasn't heartwarming at all.

"Where am I?" she asked, coughing as the soreness of her voice again. Dick handed her the glass again and she took it gratefully.

"The Watchtower," he answered. "We were both busted up pretty bad. Don't worry, you're safe here."

"Safe feels like a relative term," she muttered.

"You've been here in a coma for more than a week. If anyone wanted to hurt you, they would have by now." Harley's look of shock made Dick chuckle. "I said you were busted up really badly."

"A coma? For a week?!" she fell back against the wall, her head reeling. "But I… and he… Dick what happened? Last I remember we were fighting… Then Mista J…"

Dick stopped her with a raised hand and carefully explained the rest. He didn't sugarcoat it for her, he knew she could handle it. But still he watched her expression sink as it dawned on her that yes, the Joker really had wanted to kill her. If it hadn't been for Dick's quick thinking he would have succeeded. Part of her always knew that the Joker had just been using her, ready to discard her at a moment's notice when her usefulness expired. The other part of her, the part he'd managed to worm his way inside of, made her honestly believe that he loved her. That was the part that was having trouble coming to grips with her current reality. He'd abandoned her and betrayed her and she didn't think he'd be coming back.

"Ya know," she muttered after a long minute of silence. She needed something normal and looked at him with a mirth in her eyes. "I've been awake for more than five minutes and I haven't heard your usual line yet. I'm starting to think you don't like me no more."

Dick looked confused for a moment, brows furrowed until he realized what she meant. He couldn't help but laugh, and was nearly doubled over when Batman finally walked in. Of course Dick hadn't noticed yet, and pulled himself enough together to ask, "You finally gonna run away with me, doll?"

"That's hardly a good idea," Batman said, making Dick freeze. "She can barely walk, Dick."

"Mark the day, Dick," Harley said, rolling her eyes. "The B-man tried to make a joke."

"Please, Bats, don't do that to me," Dick breathed, a hand coming to his chest to try and calm his heart. "My constitution score has been at a negative five this past week and I've yet to finish a long rest."

"How are you feeling, Lee?" Batman asked, coming to sit on Harley's other side.

"Better and better every minute," she said with a smile. Her brow knitted together as she gave him a critical look. Both men could see the gears turning in her head and Batman was suddenly worried about what conclusions she was drawing. She certainly didn't look pleased with what she saw. "We're gonna have a chat when I get out of this bed."

Batman cringed beneath his cowl. Their 'chats' were always her attempt at counseling him. It was quite a pain being related to a psychiatrist. "First we need to get you home. Then we can chat."

"Oh that's right, I almost forgot," Dick said with his trademark grin. "Alfred's got your room all ready, all the clothes we ordered for your arrived, and Tim and Damian can't wait to meet you."

"Home? Like the manor? I'm not getting arrested?" Harley asked, looking between the two with hope.

"For all intents and purposes, Harley Quinn died in the explosion," Batman explained, the ghost of a smile coming to his lips. "That's what the police report says, that's what the papers read, and that's what people believe. If you wish, Arleen Sorkin can vanish in a variety of ways and Harleen Quinzel can come back from an extended stay at a monastery in the Himalayas. Or we can come up with a completely new identity for you. Your choice, though I believe Doctor Strange is eager for his most talented employee to return."

Harley felt a smile tugging at her lips as Batman's words settled in her mind. She could have her life back, just as it was before. The thought made her heart soar, and the smile on Dick's face gave her the reassurance that it actually was possible.

"Let me think about it?" she asked, getting a nod from both of them. "Good. Now, how about a grilled cheese? I'm starving."

* * *

 _Next Chapter Preview:_

 _She leaned in close, settling herself just inches from Diana's face. "If you hurt him, they ain't never gonna find ya body."_

* * *

 _AN: As always guys, if you're enjoying then please follow and favorite the story. Your reviews give me life~ See ya next time!_


	9. Chapter 9

_AN: Holy Hell I am 2 weeks behind in updates and I apologize. You'll get a double chapter update today! Sorry guys, life got in the way again._

 _ENJOY!_

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Chapter 9

Harley's casts came off the next day, thanks to the Joker's drugs. She felt better than ever and ready to take on the entire world. At least she felt that away until she stood up and promptly fell flat on her face. She was far too weak to go anywhere on her own, but that didn't stop her from trying. Once the nurse was gone she managed to stumble out of her room, leaning heavily on the wall for support. She made it all the way down the hall, round the corner, and was circling the main structure before she collapsed from exhaustion. Thankfully she collapsed outside of the training room, were Diana and Shayera were just leaving. Both women were on Harley in a second, helping her to her feet.

"What are you doing outside the infirmary?" Diana asked, catching Harley as she lost her footing again.

" _How_ did you get out?" Shayera asked, wrapping one of Harley's arms around her shoulder. "And how did you get this far? Quite a feat, seeing as you can't really stand."

"I walked on my hands," she joked, making both of them chuckle. They got her back to her room in less than half the time it took her to get to where she was, making her realize exactly how slow she had been moving. "Thanks."

"We're going to be family soon, Harley," Diana said with a smile, setting her back down on her bed. "It's the least I can do."

"Out of all the men on earth, I still don't understand why you had to choose him," Shayera said, shaking her head and leaving the room.

Diana got up to leave too, but Harley stopped her with a hand on her arm. "Speaking of family, I wanted to tell you something."

"What is it?" Diana asked, sitting back down. "Is everything alright?"

"That all depends on you," she said, her voice dropping to a threatening level. Diana sat up a little straighter and gave her a quizzical look. "I love Bruce like a brother, and as such I'm a bit protective. He doesn't open his heart to just anybody." She leaned in close, settling herself just inches from Diana's face. "If you hurt him, they ain't never gonna find ya body."

Diana had no doubt that Harley would make good on her threat, and managed to nod. "Don't worry, I have no plans on hurting him."

"That's what they all say." Harley looked like she was about to say more, but a dark shadow in the door stopped them both.

"Glad to see you two getting along," Batman said as he stalking into the room, cape closed completely around him.

"Like peas in a pod," Harley sang, smiling brightly at him. The corner of Batman's mouth twitched upwards and suddenly Diana understood everything that Dick told her about Harley.

"Ready to go home?" he asked, holding a hand out to both of them.

* * *

A batarang embedded itself in the wall barely an inch from Dick's nose. He stopped in his tracks, looking over to see Damian pulling another from his belt.

"Stop pacing, Grayson, you're making me nervous," he growled, spinning the knife around his fingers. He was his usually lazy self, propped up on an over plush chair, one leg hanging over the armrest. The supplies of his utility belt were scattered on the floor around him, the actual belt thrown over his shoulder. He did that sometimes when he was agitated. Checking his supplies like that was almost a compulsion.

"Seriously big bro, I'm getting dizzy watching you," Jason said with a smirk from the upper landing of the library. He back flipped over the rails, landing like a cat on the back of the couch before sliding down onto the cushion. "What's got your knickers in a twist?"

"Nothing," Dick muttered, pulling the batarang out of the wall and tossing it back to Damian, who caught it without even looking. "Just try to behave when Harley gets here, alright? She's not totally stable yet."

"If she's even half as sexy as I remember her, I'll be on my best behavior," Jason said with a lecherous grin. "That is, of course, until I get her into my bed." Dick's hand smacked so hard into the back of his head that he fell off the couch. "Yo, chill, it was a joke! Shit, I get it, she's off limits."

"Must you swear so much?" Damian drawled as he started to put his belt back together.

"Yes I fucking do," Jason snapped, gritting his teeth. "Shit, I need a fag. You goddamn assholes are the reason I smoke." He'd barely gotten the pack of cigarettes out before they were nailed to the wall by a batarang. Shocked, he stared at his empty hand for a second, looked at the pack on the wall, and turned to Damian. "You're fucking a piece of shit."

"Pot, kettle, black," Damian said, returning Jason's glare. "Father doesn't like smoking."

"Fuck your fucking father!" Jason shouted, making both Damian and Dick jolt in surprise. He ran a frustrated and shaking hand through his hair and jumped to his feet. "Fuck him, fuck this family, fuck you, I'm fucking out of here!"

Jason stormed out of the library, shoving Alfred aside as he went. The butler didn't look phased and manage to keep the tea balanced on the tray he was carrying. Dick was poised to run after him, but Alfred just shook his head.

"I think it would be best to let Master Jason go for now, Master Dick," Alfred said with a sigh as he put the tray down, eyes finding the cigarettes on the wall. "Do remember the last time he saw Harley Quinn, she was beating him to death. I doubt he's in a hurry to see her again."

That was when Dick realized he and Bruce were probably the only ones looking forward to see Harley come home. He'd almost forgotten how much his family had suffered at her hand. Even though she was the Joker's proxy, it was her face attached to all that pain. He looked over at Damian, the only one of them yet to face the Joker like the others. The boy seemed calm and relaxed, but the way he put his belt back together told Dick that he was on edge, though perhaps it was just because the rest of the household was. He went over to his youngest brother, covering his small hands with his own. The simple act made Damian's mask slip and he sucked in a shaky breath, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Damian…"

"She's going to hurt us, isn't she?" Damian breathed, suddenly sounding very much his age. "You and Father and Jason and Tim… it's what she does. She'll slit our throats in our sleep and dance on our graves."

What Damian wanted to say and what Dick heard were probably two different things. Dick heard his brother worried that he wouldn't be able to stop his family getting hurt. It was heartwarming to see the ice around his cold baby brother's heart starting to melt. Even if it was only a little bit. So he wrapped Damian up in his arms and felt his brother give him a squeeze.

"Don't you worry," Dick said, feeling Damian bury his face in his shoulder, "she wouldn't be coming if we didn't trust her. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. I promise."

There was a small nod and one last squeeze before Damian pulled away, jumping over the back of the chair and looking like his usual grouchy self. He didn't even look at Dick again as he grabbed his belt and stomped out of the room. Dick just chuckled and stood, shoving his hands in his pockets.

There was no more he could do for Damian, so he went up to check on Tim. The second youngest had barricaded himself in his room for fear of being attacked by the cat. He rapped on the door, hearing a grunt from inside and pushed the door open. Tim lay on his bed reading a comic, his phone blaring some strange dubstep next to him. He barely looked up when Dick came in, just gave him a short wave and turned the page.

"Harley's gonna be here any minute," Dick said, pressing pause on Tim's phone. "Come downstairs."

"Is the cat dead?" Tim asked, pressing play without looking. Dick pressed pause and Tim glared at him.

"No, the cat is not dead," Dick said firmly as he took Tim's phone out of his reach. "The cat will not be dead any time soon. Bruce is calling another doctor about another round of shots, by the way."

"Dude no," Tim whined, putting his book down finally. "Those were miserable. You try getting stuck with a needle three times a week for six months."

"It's either try to get it dealt with or go into shock every time Beast Boy walks into a room," Dick reasoned, arching a brow. "Which would you rather?"

"Well I don't have to worry about the latter anymore, so there's not really any point, is there?" Dick's look of confusion made Tim sit up a little straighter. "Did you not know…?"

"Know what?"

"Beast Boy's gone. He vanished with Raven like six months ago."

Dick smiled a little at that. "Well good for them. And Starfire?"

"Went back to her home planet ages ago. Have you not kept in touch with your own team?"

"Not really my team anymore…" Dick muttered, crossing his arms over his chest with a furrowed brow. "I just got a call from Raven the other day, but… I guess I have been a bit busy… That's not important right now. Bruce is bringing Harley home and he wants us all there so get your ass downstairs."

"Pass."

"Not an option."

Damian had since moved into the den, Alfred the cat sitting on his lap and Titus curled up at his feet. Jason was just outside, leaning against one of the windows with a lit cigarette in his hand. He'd been staring up at the sky and Damian watched his lips move in some strange language. Usually he was good at reading lips, but there was something about the words Jason muttered that he couldn't understand. Some long forgotten dead language that made Damian wonder where his brother learned it.

The door opened and Alfred jumped out of his lap, running out the door to outside that was still open. Dick walked in with Tim slung over his shoulder, the younger boy grumbling about being manhandled. He was deposited on the couch and Dick went out to talk to Jason. Damian glared at Tim as he righted himself.

"Finally decided to join us, Drake?" Damian asked, reaching down to pet his dog.

"Not willingly," Tim muttered. He turned to look out the window, where it looked like Dick and Jason were in earnest conversation. "We're gonna have to keep a close eye on Jason."

"I always do," Damian replied. "I don't tru—AH!" Tim's head snapped back as he watched Titus try to sit in Damian's lap. Instead he smothered the boy, taking up the entire chair and then some, the long legs of the purebred Great Dane hanging over the edges, his body completely covering the twelve-year-old. All Damian did was shift enough so his head was visible and let it be. He was used to it by now. "As I was saying… I've never trusted him."

"He's usually a good guy but lately he's been… off." Damian arched his boy at Tim's words, as if to say 'no shit'. "Apparently he'd been making a lot of progress with his PTSD but I think the explosion set him back a bit. Look at him. He's shaking." Sure enough, when Damian looked closer, Jason's fists were shaking under his white knuckle grip, cigarette crushed in his hand.

"Have you ever met Harley off the battlefield?" Damian asked, shifting the dog on top of him again.

"Just once," Tim said with a nod, turning away from the window. "It was at a Wayne Enterprises charity function of something. I don't remember, but I know I had to wear a tux. She showed up in this gorgeous red dress with her hair down… I didn't recognize her, honestly. But she was kind. Stayed for a grand total of ten minutes, spoke to Bruce, had a drink, did one dance, and then left."

"That seems to be the general consensus," Damian muttered. "She's 'kind' outside of the mask."

"You haven't met her yet at all, have you?" Damian just shook his head. "Lucky you. First time I met her she was trying to poison me. First time she met Jason, she kicked him off a ten story building."

"Too bad she failed both times."

Tim glared at him. "She's not to be trusted either, despite what Bruce and Dick say."

"I know that. I'm not stupid like you."

"Glad we're sort of on the same page."

Damian's attention was caught by Jason taking a swing at Dick. He was about to run out when he saw Dick grab his brother's fist and pull him into a hug. Jason's back was shaking and Damian could only assume he was trying not to cry. They could see Dick tell him something and then Jason shoved him away, a snarl on his face. He relaxed after a second, a laugh on his lips as he ran a hand through his hair, his other hand grabbing another cigarette. Dick didn't even try to stop him as he lit it and dragged half of it down in one breath. It looked like they came to an agreement and Jason stomped out the cig and they both walked inside. It was perfect timing too, because Alfred walked in at that moment announcing that Bruce, Diana and Harley were home. An air of uncertainty fell over the room as Jason became stiff. Dick wrapped an arm around his shoulder and squeezed enough to break him from his stupor.

"Let's get this over with," Jason muttered, shrugging Dick's hand off and stalking from the room, hands in his pockets.

Tim ran after him, wanting to keep him in his sights. Dick helped Damian out from under the dog and they walked towards the main hall. Titus followed close behind, nudging Damian's arm every once in a while. Dick watched with a smile, remembering when he brought Titus home for Damian as a puppy. Damian had been pleading to Bruce for some kind of pet to prove he was responsible. Bruce had been convinced that Damian would end up killing the animal, either on purpose or from neglect, and had given him a firm no. Despite thinking it was completely unfair, Dick agreed with him. That was until he saw a stray pup wandering the streets, half- starved and mostly dead a few nights later. It was a perfect opportunity. If Damian could nurse the pup back to health then he'd prove to be more than responsible. On the other hand if he died because the boy couldn't handle it, well it would have been dead soon anyway. Dick had no idea that the pup was a Great Dane, or that he'd grow to such a size. He also had no idea that they would become so attached to one another. He wouldn't be surprised if one day Titus was seen jumping from rooftops in a cape and a cowl.

He still remembered how Bruce found out about the dog and chuckled at the memory. When Dick brought the dog home, Bruce had been out on patrol with Damian at home recovering from an injury. The boy showed his age when he was handed the starved dog and Dick watched his heart melt. They conspired to hide the dog in Damian's massive closet and he readily helped his brother care for him. Dick even secreted them to the vet to make sure that Titus was an otherwise healthy dog. Damian doted on that dog, even going so far as to sleep in the closet with him to make sure he didn't die during the night. Not even Dick had known that, and when Bruce approached him about Damian vanishing again, he panicked. The first thing Dick did was go to Damian's room to check on the dog. Unbeknownst to both, Bruce was suspicious of them and followed Dick closely to find out what was going on. They both found Damian fast asleep in a nest of blankets, the pint sized pup curled up to his chest. Bruce was rightly flabbergasted and initially wanted to toss the dog out. After a very loud and violent argument, Bruce acquiesced to the dog staying. The two had been nearly inseparable ever since.

Dick was pulled out of his musings when he heard a series of shouts from the foyer. He and Damian broke into a run, coming into the room just as Jason took a dive for Harley, a wickedly curved knife poised to kill. It was lucky for Harley that she could barely stand because her knees gave out on her just as Jason got close. The knife swiped the air where her neck had been a second before. Bruce had been getting a couple bags out of the car when he heard it and rushed in. Not before Titus was bounding over to Jason, however, biting down hard on the arm that held the knife. Jason cried out in pain as he dropped it, turning the throw the dog off him. Titus let go and ran back to Damian's side as Bruce grabbed Jason by the collar and threw him across the floor. Dick was at Harley's side in a second trying to help her to her feet. He saw Tim knocked out in the corner, no doubt by Jason's hands. Bruce was wrestling said psychopath to the ground, Jason snarling and wiggling to break free to no avail.

The struggling eventually stopped and a tense silence fell over the room. Harley was clinging to Dick, her face buried in his shirt as he held her close. He glared at Jason for doing this, but at the same time he couldn't blame him. He was still traumatized, after all. Dick's eyes slid over to Tim, who was being roughly awoken by Damian. He felt Harley take a shuddering breath and looked down to examine her. She was in a simple yellow sundress and one strap had slipped off her shoulder when she fell. He was actually surprised that she hadn't fallen over sooner, if the height of her heels was anything to go by. She took in a shaky breath and slowly picked up her head. He gave her a reassuring smile, but it sank as her pupils blew wide in fear. He'd almost forgotten that the Scarecrow's toxin was still in her system.

With a scream she fell back out of Dick's arms, scrambling away as quickly as she could. He had no idea what she was seeing, but whatever it was was terrifying enough that she put herself within Jason's reach trying to get away. Thankfully Bruce had a good hold on him so he didn't get a chance to lash out. Dick wasn't quite sure what to do as she looked around frantically. He wasn't sure that the anti-venom he carried around would do anything, but he knew he had to act fast. Bruce realized it too and nodded Dick over, letting him take Jason as he slowly walked over to Harley, approaching like one would to a wounded animal.

Dick had let his guard down for a second too long. Jason busted out of his grip, diving for his knife and making another beeline towards Harley. He easily evaded Dick's grab but he once again he forgot about Titus. The dog tackled Jason to the ground, growling in his face. All 200 pounds of dog laid down on Jason's chest, restricting his breathing and pinning his arms and legs on the floor. The whole ordeal, while it only lasted a couple of seconds, was enough to make Harley scream in terror again. This time she tried to stand and run, but she was still unsteady. She only managed to stumble a few steps away before she tripped over her heels. Bruce caught her easily and put her right down, not wanting to risk her wiggling out of his grasp.

"Harley, it's me Bruce," he said slowly, kneeling down in front of her. She scrambled back and hit the wall, her breathing completely erratic. He held a hand out to her that she just swatted away. "The toxin is fueled by adrenaline. You need to try and calm down." It took a few seconds, but her breathing slowed and suddenly, her gaze turned clinical.

"Bruce." It wasn't quite a statement, more like a question, but with a knowing edge that made Dick arch his brow. Bruce nodded slowly, holding his hand out again. This time she took it and carefully stood up, making sure not to trip over her heels. She looked down at Jason, still pinned by the dog, and smiled at him with a wink. "You're looking well, Jay. I see you haven't lost your edge."

"Bitch," he snapped, making Titus growl threateningly.

"I see things are still pretty lively around here, huh?" she asked, chuckling as Titus stopped growling and started slobbering. Jason redoubled his efforts to get away as some of the drool got into his mouth. Dick and Damian started laughing and neither tried to help.

"Yeah I guess they are," Bruce said, nodding a little. "Damian, get Titus will you? Jason, apologize. Now."

"Oh no need," Harley said quickly, putting a hand on Bruce's chest. "Fair's fair. I was expecting this. I'm actually glad he did this now instead of later. I'd be looking nervous over my shoulder until he did try to kill me." Damian called a command arabic and Titus came bounding back to his master with a big smile on his dopey face. Dick helped Jason to his feet but kept a firm grip on his arm, a motion not lost on anyone. Harley took a few careful steps over and held out a hand to Jason with a big smile. "I'm real sorry about what I did to you, Jay, I got no excuses. But if you want, when I'm feeling better, we can spar you can kick the crap out of me as payback. Until then, are we cool?"

Jason looked down at her hand, then back up into her eyes. Everyone held their breaths. Jason flipped his knife around and shoved it back in his boot, taking her hand firmly. "Yeah, we're cool for now."

"I'm so glad," she sang, pressing a quick kiss on his cheek before turning to Tim, who was just getting on his feet with Damian's help. "Tim, a pleasure to finally meet you for real. And—gosh you must be Bruce's son Damian!" She ruffled his hair and pinched his cheeks, making his smack her hands away and take a few steps back. "Aren't you just the cutest little thing? You look just like your father!"

"Cute?!" Damian snapped as Harley turned away from him to focus back on his father. "I'm not _cute_! I'm the grandson of Ras Al Ghul! I'm the heir to the Demon! I'm—"

"Cute as a button. Exactly like your father," Harley said over her shoulder with a chuckle. She returned her attention to said father and her gaze turned clinical once again. "Now. You and I need to have a chat."

* * *

 _Next Chapter Preview:_

 _"Stop stepping on my foot, Drake."_

 _"I'm not on your foot."_

 _"Move the fuck over. Your bony ass elbows don't belong in my gut!"_

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 _AN: Should I rename this fic BatBro Shenanigans? Because that seems to be all these chapters are recently lol. Again, sorry for the late updates, please enjoy this special two chapter update day~_


	10. Chapter 10

_AN: As promised, special 2 chapter update day~ Sorry again for the delay guys._

 _Seriously, more BatBro Shenanigans and I'm seriously going to change the name of this fic lol. ENJOY_

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Chapter 10

 _Session in Progress_

 _Do not Disturb_

 _On Pain of Death_

Harley set her phone out, pulling up her voice recording app and hitting start. She sat back in the chair across from Bruce, notepad in hand and a smile on her face. This was truly back to normal. After she returned from Switzerland, she would regularly council Bruce in the library, every time with the 'session in progress' sign on the door. When they started they didn't have to worry about being disturbed, Alfred and Dick knew not to knock. However, the three new additions to the house were likely to cause a ruckus.

"You don't mind if I record this, do you?" she asked, noting the date on the top of her page.

"Do whatever you want, Doc, you know what to do with the recording after."

Pencil marked paper and Harley looked up again, scrutinizing her patient. Bruce sat on the couch, legs crossed and arms thrown over the back. He wasn't looking at her, and held a defiant air that was very unlike him. "Joe, long time, no see. How are you?"

His head snapped to look at her, almost shocked. Then he started laughing. "I almost forgot who I was talking to!" he said with a manic grin. "Years with the freak haven't dulled your edge, Doc. How did you know?"

"You're the only one who calls me 'doc'," she said with a grin, making another note.

'Joe', Bruce's most violent personality, so dubbed after the man who killed Bruce's parents. He didn't bother Bruce too much, but he tended to pester the Bat. From what Harley had gathered over the years, Joe and the Bat tended to work together as Joe was the more able interrogator. Bruce was able to keep him in check most of the time…

"So am I right to assume that Bruce isn't with us anymore?" Harley asked casually.

"For now," Joe responded, chuckling darkly. "See, he's a bit upset right now and I figured he needed a break."

"And what made him so upset?"

"What makes all men upset? _Love_ ," he mocked, wrinkling his nose is disgust. "Love for _you_ , love for his _sons_."

"Love for Diana?" she offered. He made a gagging noise.

"That's the worst of them all."

"And yet he's marrying her. How does that make you feel?"

"Well technically speaking we're all marrying her. As for how I feel? Don't care for the commitment, but the sex is amazing." Harley couldn't help but cringe as she continued her notes. "Awkward, Doc?"

"I have a professional detachment," she said honestly, looking back up at him.

"See from what I hear you don't have a, _heh_ , 'professional detachment' from Richard," he taunted, resting his elbows on his knees and leaning forward. "Don't tell me you fell for the trap of love, did ya, Doc? I'm gonna lose a ton of respect for you if you have."

Harley just gave him a soft smile. "We're not here talking about me."

"So you have. I'm disappointed."

"Can I talk to Bats? Or Bruce?"

"Aw, I told ya, Doc, Bruce doesn't want to come out and play right now and the Bat only comes out with the cowl. So you're stuck with me. Sorry." The grin Joe gave her reminded her far too much of the Joker, and she shuddered. "Problem?"

"Hardly," she said, shaking her head and trying to bring her clinical view back. It'd been so long since she needed to do this. She was out of practice. "So you're not keen about the marriage. I'd like to ask you not to sabotage it."

"Or what? 'They ain't never gonna find my body'?" he mocked, doing a terrible impression of her with that same grin. "Besides, it's too fucking late for that."

"What have you done?"

* * *

"Stop stepping on my foot, Drake."

"I'm not on your foot."

"Move the fuck over. Your bony ass elbows don't belong in my gut!"

"Guys shut up. I can't hear anything."

"Can't hear anything anyway!"

"Father was right to soundproof this room."

"What are you four doing?!"

Diana's voice made all four boys jolt in shock. They had been pressing their ears to the library door, attempting to listen in on the session but hearing nothing. In the end they were just in each other's ways so much so that when Damian suddenly stood up straight, he knocked all three of his brothers over and they all fell on top of each other in a heap. When Titus saw them, he barked happily, jumping on top of Dick and making all four of them groan in pain. Diana just shook her head. Even after almost 80 years in the world of men, she still didn't understand them.

"This is the _second time today_ this fucking dog has been on top of me!" Jason shouted, trying to wiggle himself free. "Get your beast under control!"

"He is perfectly trained," Damian wheezed, straining under the weight of his three older brothers and the dog. "Titus, taeal 'iilaa huna." He pointed in front of him and Titus jumped down, coming to sit right where Damian pointed. "See?"

"You taught your dog Arabic?" Diana asked as Dick helped Jason to his feet.

"I taught him commands in a language most people around here don't know," Damian explained, grateful for the ability to breathe again. "That way he only responds to me. Now will you plebs get off of me?!"

"Again, who are you calling plebs, baby bro?" Jason asked as he hauled Tim up. "We're all brothers."

"You're no brothers of mine," Damian huffed, standing up and brushing himself off. He straightened his clothes and pulled a small treat out his pocket for Titus. The other three just shook their heads and walked away, heading for the other elevator to the batcave. It was almost that time. Damian stayed with his dog for a second, petting him softly and glancing at Diana through the corner of his eye. "Don't look at me like that, woman."

"Why do you hate them so much?" Diana asked, sighing heavily. "They _are_ your brothers, Damian."

"Not by blood," he muttered, refusing to look at her.

"That shouldn't matter," Diana said with a smile, kneeling down to look him in the eye. "None of the Amazons on Themyscira are blood related to me, but they're still my sisters. We live together, eat together, train together, and fight together, just as you do with your brothers."

" _Che,_ whatever." Damian turned sharply on his heels, marching off after the others.

Diana sighed as she stood, wrapping one arm around herself. Maybe she wasn't as good at this mothering thing as she thought. Or maybe Damian just didn't like her; that was always possible. She'd have to talk to him at some point, preferably before the wedding. Whenever that was. She looked up when Harley stepped out of the library, taking the sign down as she went.

"Bruce went down to the batcave," Harley told her with a smile. "How are you?"

"Fine," Diana said with a shrug. Then she got suspicious. "Why?"

"No reason." Harley mirrored the shrug and her pose, biting her lip. "You hungry? Alfred'll be down helping the boys, but I can cook."

Diana just nodded, gesturing in the direction of the kitchen. Harley skipped off, her low pigtails bouncing on her shoulders as she went, Diana following close behind.

* * *

The streets of Gotham were quiet. That was the way after the Joker made a big move, especially after Batman beat him. Crime would stop for a couple weeks out of fear of pissing him off. Batman made the executive decision to stay in and monitor crime from the batcave. According to him, they were well within the usual post-Joker window and could afford it. Nightwing was getting antsy, though. He was ready to get back out into the field and it looked like his brothers were as well. Red Hood and Red Robin looked like they wanted to be anywhere but there. So he waved his brothers over to the garage, just out of earshot of Batman.

"You guys remember our usual course, right?" he asked, a sly smile on his face. "The triangle one."

"That's the one from here, to Arkham, to the docs, and back, right?" Red Robin asked, looking up to the ceiling to recall the route. "Yeah I think I remember. It's been a while though."

"Jay?"

"Of course I remember. I also remember that you've never beaten me," Red Hood chuckled. "But are you good for that, bro? It's a long run."

Nightwing's hand reached down to his side unconsciously. His stitches were gone, thankfully, but the wound wasn't totally healed yet. "Maybe, maybe not, but I'm sick of sitting around this house. Let's go before the Bat gets suspicious."

"I want to come." Robin materialized next to Nightwing and all three jumped. "Whatever you're doing, I want in."

"Just a race," Red Robin sneered, glaring at Robin through his mask. "Nothing big."

"Sounds like fun. Where to?"

All three looked at each other nervously (though it was hard to tell for Jason because of the helmet). Nightwing cleared his throat, pulling up a projection of the city. "It's pretty straight forward. Five parts. We start here on bikes to Gotham PD, then on ground level to Arkham. Remember you have to hit all three points, the front gate, the bell tower, and the green house in that order. After that it's across the rooftops to Wayne Tower. You've got to tie off your ribbon on the top mast or you forfeit."

"And if it blows away you're out," Red Robin reminded them with a huff. "So make sure you tie it good and tight."

"After that it's your choice to the docs. Don't forget to leave a marker on Bruce's boat."

"What kind of marker?" Robin asked, staring at the map and committing it to memory.

"Any kind," Nightwing answered, shrugging. "A batarang, a smoke bomb, a flair—"

"Your corpse," Red Hood muttered, making Nightwing smack the back of his helmet. "What?! Did the rules change or is sabotage still allowed?"

"Sabotage, yes, murder, no," Nightwing answered firmly. "The last leg is the easiest. Get back to your bike and back here. Now I don't trust that something's not going to go wrong, so keep your comms on. If one of us gets pulled into a fight, or injured, the race is over and we _all_ go to help. Got it?"

"And what does the winner get?" Robin asked, smirking as he went to one of the motorcycles. It was far too big for him, but he didn't care.

"Same as usual," Red Robin grinned, heading to his own bike. "Winner doesn't have to go on patrol tomorrow night."

"Loser makes everyone breakfast tomorrow," Nightwing said with a chuckle. "So Tim, don't burn the pancakes this time."

"Fuck you."

"Where do you four think you're going?" Nightwing and Red Hood nearly fell off their bikes when they heard Batman's voice. They all turned to see him standing there, arms crossed and a downward turn to his lips. The map was still up, and he glared at Nightwing. "The Race? Really, Dick, you're not healed yet."

"Come on, Bats, we gotta induct the little one," Red Hood said, and everyone could hear his smirk. Nightwing grabbed Robin's arm before his batarang could fly.

"And this is the first time all four of us are together," Red Robin added with a grin. "Pleeeeaaassseee Bruce?"

Batman looked between them, they're steely gazes and defiant stances and realized there was nothing he could do to stop it. "You'll need a ref. I'll monitor from here. The usual rules?" They all nodded. "No great loss to me then. Jason doesn't come on patrol anymore."

"How many times has he won?" Robin whispered to Nightwing.

"Every time," came the angered answer. "None of us have ever beaten him."

"Then his winning streak ends tonight."

The boys lined up their motorcycles, revving the engines and getting ready to ride. The instant the main gate opened they all sped off into the night. Batman watched them with mirth, sitting down heavily in his chair at the console. He kept the map of Gotham in the lower corner of the screen as he worked to make 'Arleen Sorkin' disappear and Harleen Quinzel return.

* * *

The wind whistling through his hair, the pounding of the pavement beneath his boots, the adrenaline rush every time he jumped off a building… Yeah, perhaps Nightwing was addicted to the lifestyle. As he vaulted off the roof of the greenhouse and grappled to a nearby building, well ahead of all his brothers, he wondered if that was a bad thing. He gracefully flipped onto the roof and took off at a dead sprint. There was a flash of red in his peripheral vision and he ducked, just missing a stun pellet as it whizzed by his head. He pondered for a moment if his lead was only because Red Robin stunned the other two, but he couldn't dwell. Not only were they now running through the bad part of Gotham (all of Gotham was bad, but this was the really bad part) but he had a feeling that with Damian joining them his brothers would be a bit more savage than usual.

His hunch was correct as he felt Red Robin's bo staff crack into his shoulder. It proved particularly painful since he didn't have his usual armor on. His suit was still being repaired and the armor replaced after the blast, so he had been forced to don an old suit. An old suit that was really just a body suit, so while it was great for acrobatics, it was terrible for fights. He fell down to his knee hard, hearing another crack as he hit the asphalt and regretting everything. Red Robin's staff came down again and he rolled out of the way, pulling the escrima sticks off his back in the process. He lunged towards his brother, sticks swinging in a large arc over his head. Red Robin jumped away while using his staff to vault over Nightwing's head. His feet had barely hit the ground before they were swept out from under him with very blunt katanas. He hit the ground hard and Robin jumped into his chest with a wide grin.

"That's for the cheap shot, Drake," Robin chuckled, ruffling Red Robin's hair before jumping back. He almost doubled over in laughter as Nightwing's sticks slammed into Red Robin's stomach. Nightwing reeled back, having been aiming for Robin, and turned to face his baby brother with a snarl on his lips.

Their fight was cut short as vines exploded from the roof and wrapped around their ankles, lifting them into the air upside down. The more they struggled, the more the vines grew, until they were wrapped up completely in the writhing green plants. For a moment Nightwing was glad Jason wasn't around. The comments that boy would have been making… Poison Ivy sauntered out the shadows, a scowl on her face as she assessed her prey.

"I set out to trap a bat and all I got were some birds instead. How disappointing…" Her scowl deepened as her eyes landed on Nightwing. "You." He stopped his struggling in a second, eyes wide as she came up to him and stroked his cheek. "My she was right. You are a handsome one, aren't you? I could cut myself on those cheekbones."

She pressed a firm kiss on his lips, smirking all the while as her kiss burned him. He tried to keep his mouth shut, but she pressed them open with her tongue to deposit her poison in his mouth. He tried to spit it out as she pulled away, but it was far too late for that. He could already feel the poison working its way through his system, making him break out in a cold sweat. It felt like his throat was constricting and his breathing became ragged.

"You coward!" Robin cried, fighting to free himself once again. "You spineless good for nothing cunt! I'll-" he was cut off as a vine wrapped around his mouth, silencing him.

"What a nasty way to talk to a lady," Ivy said with a tisk. "I hope you don't kiss your mother with that mouth." She shook her head and turned her attention back to Nightwing, whose vision was already blurring. "Why did you have to come out alive and not her?" Her voice was a low growl that put all of them on edge, not that they could do much about it. "You killed my best friend and you're going to pay for that."

"He tried to save her!" Red Robin shouted, making Ivy snap her head to him. It was no secret that Ivy and Harley were best friend. "It was the Joker that set that bomb. You want revenge, go kill him! Let us-" A vine wrapped around his mouth too, and he opted to just glare at Ivy instead.

"The Joker's gone to ground since the explosion, no one's been able to find him," Ivy hissed, eyes sparkling as she turned back to Nightwing. "You're the next best thing, pretty boy." She grabbed his hair and forced him to look at her, though his vision was fading fast as his head swam. Whatever she had given him, it was powerful. "Take a good long look, my dear. Mine will be the last face you ever see. Good for you it's a beautiful one."

"Come on, Flower, baby, that's a bit harsh, dontcha think?" Nightwing could barely hear Jason as he approached, cocky as always. Ivy growled as he came to her side, sliding an arm around her waist. His other arm came up to inject an anti-toxin into Nightwing's neck, a smirk hidden behind his helmet. Ivy tried to stop him, but he just shoved her aside. His brother was unconscious, and he carefully felt for a pulse. He could just barely feel it but his breathing was normal again. That was a good sign. He wasn't sure how long it would last though; he knew from person experience that Ivy's toxins weren't so easily cured.

"I hate it when you call me that," Ivy muttered, glaring at him from the corner of her eye. Robin started thrashing wildly, his voice muffled beneath the vine, though it was clear he was swearing. "Quiet down, pipsqueak. The grown ups are talking." He didn't stop, and Red Robin swung himself over to headbutt his younger brother. Robin swung back to do the same and Ivy sighed. More vines shot out and held them separate, much to the chagrin of Robin. "Are they always like this?"

"Pretty much, Peach," Jason said with a sigh, his hands planting on his hips. "Little bro had a point though. The Joker is the one you want."

"And I told you, he's vanished," Ivy reiterated, the scowl coming back to her lips. Jason was about to retort, but the crackle of the comms coming to life stopped him with his mouth open.

" _Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?! We can't leave yous guys unsupervised for ten minutes?!"_

Harley's furious voice was so loud that even Ivy heard it, if the shocked look on her face was any indication. She recoiled her vines, dropping the three men on the ground with loud thuds. Red Robin was by Nightwing's side in a second, pocket computer in hand taking vitals. Robin was on his knees reminding himself how to breathe. Jason would have palmfaced if he wasn't wearing his helmet. If he'd known that was all it took to get her to release his brothers, he would have gotten Harley to pipe up ages ago.

"We were ambushed," he said, groaning as Ivy took a few tentative steps towards him. He knew what she wanted to ask and he just shook his head.

"Is that Harley?" she asked, reaching out to him. He just slapped her hand away. She growled at her, secreeting her pheromones on instinct more than anything. With his helmet still on, they'd have no effect. "Let me talk to her!"

"It's a voice filter!" he snapped, fiddling with his comm to lower the volume a bit. "What's going on? Did something happen?"

" _Yeah something happened,"_ came the impatient response. _"Get your sorry butts over to Doc Thompkins' place on the west end. Diana collapsed."_

"Let the good doctor know she'll have another patient or two," Jason said as he dropped down to Nightwing's side. He hadn't woken yet, and the sweating was back. He put a firm hand on Red Robin's shoulder, a silent way of telling him he got it. Red Robin gave him a weary look, but collected Robin and headed off towards the west end nonetheless. He could still hear Robin's struggling breaths and wondered if Ivy was annoyed enough with him to poison him too. "Nightwing got hit with one of Ivy's toxins."

"A gentle way to put it," Ivy huffed.

" _Is Red there?"_ Harley asked, the hope in her voice breaking Jason's heart a little. _"Do me a favor, Jay, don't tell her I'm alive. She'll kill me herself."_

"Duly noted," he said as he hefted Nightwing onto his shoulders. "Hey, Petal, if you tell me what poison you used I'll give you a kiss."

"Like you won't kiss my later anyway," she said with an amused smirk.

"Okay, then don't tell me and I won't kiss you. How's that sound?" His shit eating grin was audible.

"Tolerable."

"You're killin' me, Smalls."

* * *

 _Next Chapter Preview:_

 _"I fing its bootiful," he laughed, sliding down the wall to sit. "I fing your bootiful. Heh. I sai' booty."_

* * *

 _AN: Back to normal updates now everyone. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and see ya next time~_


	11. Chapter 11

_AN: I LIIIIIIVEEEE_

 _No but for real, I'm still recovering from a nasty sinus infection, which is why there was no update a couple weeks ago. But I'm back!_

 _Kinda a fluffy chapter this week~ Enjoy~_

* * *

Chapter 11

The lone light swung wildly from the ceiling, casting strange shadows as it fell across ruined furniture. Fresh blood glowed ominously as it flowed, staining scattered papers scarlet. The body twitched for just a few seconds more, the table leg sticking out of his neck making an odd squelching sound as he did so. The figure in the corner let out a wheezing laugh and staggered to his feet, bent crowbar dropping from gloved hands.

"Send in the next one!"

There was no answer to his call. With a growl, he tore out of the office looking for answers. Every room was the same. There was no one there but him and a myriad of beaten bodies. He fell against a wall, dragging blood with him as he slid to the floor. His head fell between his knees and another maniacal laugh tore through him.

"I painted the walls for you, dear. Your favorite shade of red. Just be careful. They're not dry yet!"

Another laugh echoed in the empty halls as he fell on his side. His whole body convulsed as tears streamed down his face. He was having the time of his life. His laughter died off as he realized he was having so much fun and no one to share it with.

* * *

Doctor Thompkins rolled her eyes as she watched the batfamily flutter around her clinic. As it turned out, Diana was perfectly fine aside from a little low blood sugar. It still sent Bruce into an absolute tizzy. He'd brought her down immediately, not even bothering to change out of his suit. While Leslie was glad to see that he cared for someone other than himself, he seemed to be over doing it just a bit. With Harley back in the manor, she'd have to stop by and compare notes with the psychiatrist some time. Knowing how Bruce was doing mentally was important for treating him physically. At least in her opinion.

The other blessing of the night was that Robin was fine. When Red Robin finally dragged him in he was doing much better, having gotten his breath back after the vines squeezed him far too tightly. His ribs were bruised, but other than that he'd be okay. Bruce was more than relieved that his son wasn't dead, though he tried not to show exactly how much it had rattled him. It seemed his family was falling apart before his eyes and his sanity with it. Harley was going to have a new dissertation topic out of all of this, he could feel it. He was just starting to feel calm again when Red Hood burst into the clinic, Nightwing barely breathing on his back.

"Belladonna," he wheezed, laying Nightwing down on the exam table, "and curare. Artificial breathing. Put a drip with one part potassium permanganate, two parts saline, half part of our usual anti-toxin. Holy fuck, Dick is heavy!"

Leslie threw them all out of the room while she worked on Dick. The rest of the batfamily colpassed in the clinic's waiting room. Jason tossed his helmet off and started stretching his back out, feeling a knot forming in his lower back from having to haul Dick half way across Gotham. Robin lay down on his back on one of the couches, fingers laced in his lap and he tried to meditate the pain away. He wasn't totally successful, if the wrinkle in his brow was anything to go by. Red Robin was in the corner, sitting on the counter with his eyes glued to his phone. The different lights flashing on his face and two handed hold indicated he was playing some kind of game.

Diana took Bruce's hand and pulled him into a side office, slowly pulling the door closed. He was the picture of strength and she had to admire him. If it was her children in distress like that, she'd be a basket case. He just leaned against the desk, arms crossed against his chest, face stoic as ever. She came up and rested a hand on his, making him lift his head to meet her eyes. He smiled at her, picking up her hand and kissing it.

"Now I get to lecture you about eating properly," he said with a chuckle. "Don't scare me like that again, please."

"I'm sorry, love," she replied, kissing his cheek. "Harley made a delicious roast chicken. But there was something about the sauce that didn't agree with me. I threw it all up and couldn't stomach anything else. Don't worry, it won't happen again."

"She must be out of practice then," he mused, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I'm glad you're alright. When you collapsed like that… I'm glad the only person who witnessed it was Lee, let me put it that way."

Diana giggled and kissed his nose. She could only imagine the breakdown he had. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she took a moment to just enjoy the peace they carved out in the insanity of the evening. Slowly her smile slipped off her face as she remembered something important she needed to tell him. Something she'd put off for far too long.

"My mother wants to meet you," she said suddenly, watching his eyes go hard at her words.

"We've met," he said firmly, eyes narrowing. "I don't have a high opinion of her."

"How can you say that? She's my mother, and a wonderful queen."

"She banished you after you risked your life to save her and the rest of the Amazons. 'Wonderful' is not the word that comes to mind."

"Then what word does?"

"How about 'ungrateful'?"

Offended, Diana extracted herself from his arms and took a few steps back, planting her fists on her hips. Her defiant look mirrored his. Something in her knew he'd be resistant and she was ready for a fight. Though she used the term 'fight' very loosely. As a couple they didn't really have fights or arguments, Bruce's calm demeanor saw to that. They had civil disagreements.

"She wants to look into the eyes and judge the worthiness of the man she'll soon call son-in-law," Diana explained, rolling her eyes. "Her words."

"She's already looked me in the eyes. Or don't you remember?" he sighed, rubbing his temples to abate the coming headache. "After Faust turned them all to stone and Hades tried to take over the world. We stopped them and then were told to never go back. She told you, _her only daughter_ , to never return home."

"I remember, Bruce. But that doesn't change that we broke more than a dozen fundamental laws. We were lucky she didn't decide to execute us."

"Oh lucky us."

"Bruce."

"What if she decides I'm not worthy?" he asked, worry cutting straight through his sarcasm. "What if she demands you return home? What then? I don't want you to be put in that position. I don't want you to have to choose." _I don't want you to leave me._

Diana could hear his unspoken words in the pleading of his bright blue eyes. It was like an arrow that was shot directly into her heart. Her gaze softened and she returned to his arms, snuggling her face into the crook of his neck. She could hear his heart rate going down and smiled a little. "I have more than a couple of reasons why I won't be going back anytime soon."

That brought a smile to his face and his arms squeezed her a bit. "Care to share some of those reasons?"

"First and foremost?" He nodded solemnly and she kissed his nose again. "I love you, Bruce Wayne."

"And I love you, Diana Prince."

"Just so you know, we currently have three boys with their ears pressed to the door."

"What?!"

At his exclamation, the sound of scrambling feet came clear from the other side of the door. Bruce glared at the wood, reaching up to slip his cowl back on. Diana just shook her head, a soft smile on her face, as he ripped the door open. From where the three boys were on the floor, he must have looked like the picture of fear. However his sons just gave him identical grins. It was unnerving to him sometimes how they all managed to look like each other without being blood related.

"I'll gladly volunteer my birthday celebration for the cause," Damian said as he got to his feet. Half way up he flinched, hand flying to his ribs as the pain returned. "Anything to get people's attention off me."

"Damian, no, it's your thirteenth birthday," Diana cooed, giving him a warm, motherly smile that he just scowled at. "It's an important day, isn't it? The day you become a man!"

"And that kind of talk is exactly why I'd rather lock myself in my room like Father does than have a party."

Diana chuckled a little as Bruce frowned. She recalled the birthday pranks from this past year and realized suddenly that it was nearly November. February would be just around the corner and she was sure Barry and Clark already had their pranks ready to go. She had solidly lost the prank war that year and was determined to make it to at least the top five. Winning was out of the question, after all she was marrying him and would have to live with whatever consequences the next year bore.

Everyone looked up when Dr Thompkins opened the door to the exam room and motioned for Bruce to come in.

"We can continue this back home," he said as he walked over to the room. "Damian, stop trying to weasel out of a birthday party, it's happening."

"You refuse a party every year! Why are you forcing this one us?" his son snapped back. Bruce stopped halfway through the door and turned back to glared at him.

"Because the last time _I_ had a birthday party, the Justice League turned it into an international incident! Now we will finish this conversation at home!"

The door slammed shut and silence descended on the room. The three boys turned to Diana for an explanation. All they saw was her shit eating grin and realized that she was either _the reason_ or one of the main causes of that incident.

* * *

It had been quite a long time since Harley had gotten to just sit down and write. While being a supervillain had given her plenty of chapter topics and observational notes, the lifestyle didn't lend itself well to research. She could write all she wanted, but without the ability to cross reference her thoughts with the greater psychological community, it was all worthless. However, the few hours she had down in the batcave worked wonders for her. With access to every database known to man (and bat, apparently) she was able to bang out a couple of good long chapter of her book.

She hit save and sat back in the chair, stretching her arms over her head. She chanced a glance at the gps map and saw that everyone was still at Doc Thompkins'. Sighing heavily and pulling the tie out of her hair, she slumped over and put her head down on the console. Even after all these years, she still wasn't used to all the late nights. Or perhaps working on her book set her mind back to university when she was working on her dissertation. Either way, she was exhausted.

As she sat there, her hair fell over her shoulders and hung limply around her head. The half red, half black tips were almost mocking her. For some reason, it made her irrationally angry. It was a constant reminder of the life she was hoping she could now leave behind. After all, she'd put 15 years into this deep cover and she was ready to move on. Though she looked young, her heart was feeling her age. At this point in her life she wanted nothing more than to finally settle down, start a real career, perhaps a husband and a family. If that was even possible.

"Alfred!" she called, knowing the butler was never too far off. He appeared by her side a few seconds later, a platter of tea in his hand.

"Tea, Miss?" he asked, setting it down next to her and pouring a cup before she answered. She gratefully took it and sipped, twisting a strand of hair around her finger.

"Is there a really sharp pair of scissors around?" she asked.

Like magic, Alfred produced a pair out of thin air and handed them to her. "Shall I call Alex in the morning and set up an appointment to get the inevitable hack job fixed?"

"I would appreciate that, thank you," she said with a chuckle, finishing off the tea and handing the cup back.

Alfred produced a mirror for her and walked off, tea tray in hand. Harley thanked him and ran her fingers through her hair. It was a miserable, tangled mess, but after a few minutes she got it to a point that she felt comfortable cutting. Grabbing a section of the black tipped hair, she took a breath and snipped it off.

Holding three inches of dyed hair shouldn't have felt as good as it did. She realized that the new length of her hair would be shorter than she usually liked it, but it was worth it to get the last remains of Harley Quinn gone. Alfred appeared at her side again, a garbage bin in hand. With a huge smile, she violently threw the black hair in. It felt so good. She didn't let it get to her though, as she diligently and carefully cut off the rest of the black before moving on to the red. It didn't take long, and Alfred stood there silently for the most part, just pointing out parts she missed every once in a while. By the time she was done, her hair was well and truly hacked, but as she shook it out and let the stray hairs fall, she felt free.

"Not as bad as it could have been, Miss," Alfred said as he examined the back. "It's more or less even."

"It won't show when it curls," she chuckled, glancing back at the gps. Everyone was on the move again, the little blips showing they were almost back at the manor. "They're almost here, Alfred. Damian's gonna need seeing too about his ribs."

"And Master Dick?" he asked, going to the medical station to prepare a powerful painkiller.

"Try not to let him fall on his face?"

Their conversation was cut short as the batmobile pulled into the cave, followed by three motorcycles. Batman jumped out of the car, lifting Diana out bridal style while the boys dismounted. Jason was having particular trouble, as he was the one charged with bringing Dick back. When he'd finally woken up, Dick was very high and rather loopy, a side effect from Ivy's poisons. So as Jason tried to help him get off the bike, Dick went nearly limp and they almost fell over. Dick was reduced to a giggle fit until his eyes landed on Harley. At least she thought his eyes were on her. His mask was crooked from all his fussing.

"Hey dere, doll faaccceee," he slurred, stumbling over to her side. He threw his arms around her neck and again almost tipped them over. He was lucky that she was strong enough to support him. "Le's run 'way. Cmon, we can leave now! 'efore the gruppy ol' bat fins out."

"I see Ivy's poisons have the same side effects as usual," Harley said with a chuckle as she ruffled Dick's hair. "I'd love to run off, but that 'grumpy old bat' is right behind you."

Duck jumped, swirling around to face Bruce, who was just scowling with his arms crossed. "Bruce! Fas as always, Bruce. Like a ninja. HYA!" He made a karate chop motion and tipped forward, Harley catching him before he hit the floor. "Whys the fllor so close?"

"Come on, Dick, it's time for bed," Harley said, getting an arm around his waist to drag him to the elevator.

"Sss a good fing I don have work tomrrw," Dick muttered, his arm flailing around a little. "The Commish is gon kill me ff I miss anoder day. HEY! Lee you cutteded your hairs!"

"Thanks for noticing," she chuckled, shoving him into the elevator and slamming the door close button before he could escape.

"I fing its bootiful," he laughed, sliding down the wall to sit. "I fing your bootiful. Heh. I sai' booty." Harley just rolled her eyes as they ascended, a chuckle on her lips as Dick fell onto his side. "Youvv a nice booty. Ivvve a nice booty. Wer gon make a great couple. Wev bof got great butts."

"It's all the acrobatics," she said, getting his arm around her shoulder and hauling him to his feet as the door opened. "Come on. Bed time."

"Only if your comin wif be," he cooed, pulling her out of the elevator towards his bedroom. He didn't get far before he fell against the wall, his mask finally falling off his face. He gasped, wide eyed as he held it in his hands. "Oh noes! You know my secretest idenibub. Identituts… Identity. Ffffffsss words."

"I've known your secret identity for years, Dick," she reminded him with a laugh. Still, she fixed the mask back over his eyes since he was having trouble doing it himself.

"Oh yeah." He broke down in a fit of giggles, falling to a floor again. "Run 'way wit me, doll. Lesss leabe all dese masks and bads snd shtuff. Star a circus! You n me on da trapeeze! Whatyda say?"

"Sounds lovely," she chuckle, pulling him to his feet again. "You're gonna need a good night's sleep first. Come on."

She managed to get him the rest of the way to his bedroom without incident. Once inside, he fell over heavily onto his bed face first, not bothering to move. Harley rolled her eyes, nudging him with her foot. When he didn't move, she rolled him over and reached for the zipper of his suit. He grabbed her hand and before she knew what was happening, he'd pulled her down and rolled on top of her, kissing her soundly.

It was a nice kiss, not hurried like usual, but just soft and warm. He'd kissed her dozens of times before, but never like this. There was a lightness building in her heart that she'd never experienced before. It scared her. So she slowly broke the kiss, the feeling lingering on her lips tempting her to kiss him again. She resisted and pushed herself up on her elbows. She got a good look in his eyes and realized that he'd been faking it the entire time. Well, perhaps not the entire time, but he was down from his high if the size of his pupils and the smirk on his face was anything to go by.

"Richard," she chidded, making his smirk grow. "You need rest. Now get off me and get into bed."

"Only if you're joining me, doll," he said, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Dick we need to talk," she sighed. "This can't go on."

"I don't see why not," he replied, leaning down to peck at her neck. "You're home with me now, you have your life back… It could be like the last fifteen years didn't happen."

"That's just it," she said, pushing him back a bit. "It's been fifteen years. Dick you don't know me. I don't even know myself. Why did we even think this was a remote chance? I'm twice as old as you."

"Age is a number…?" He sighed and sat next to her, wringing his hands. "I knew this was too good to be true." She rested a hand on his shoulder and gave him a sad smile. "Well… at least we have time to get to know each other now, right?"

"We do indeed." She gave him a small kiss on the cheek and stood. "Now get some rest, will ya?"

* * *

 _Next Chapter Preview:_

 _"I'm glad this is what you wanted to talk to me about. I thought for sure I was gonna get fired for the coffee pot."_

 _"What happened the to the coffee-"_

 _"Nothing."_

* * *

 _AN: I wanted to take this chance to thank all of you for your support of this fic. It really gives me strength and motivation to sit down and write every time I see the follower count went up._

 _I also wanted to take this opportunity to ask for input. If there's anything you guys **really** want to see happen, drop a comment or a private message and let me know~ _

_Thank you all! You're the best!_


	12. Chapter 12

_AN: Welcome back guys! So I've got big news. I've been cast in the New York Renaissance Faire! But that means I'll be working 7 days a week starting in July. So there will be one more update after this and then I'll be taking a hiatus until October. Don't worry, I'll still write, but I just wont' be able to write enough to put out regular updates._

 _Enjoy this chapter!_

* * *

Chapter 12

The next morning brought a sense of normality back to Wayne Manor. Jason vanished in the middle of the night without a trace, Tim was called back to the Titans, Diana was at the Watchtower, and Bruce had gone into work a bit early. Even Dick was called into work, Gordon giving him some excuse about too many people calling off due to the flu.

Harley came downstairs alone, petting Titus as she passed him on her way to the kitchen. It was Alfred's day off, so she set about making a cup of coffee and some eggs. The house felt ominously quiet and it unnerved her a little. Part of her was scared that she was going to wake up and realize this was all a dream. The quiet made her worry that someone was going to snatch her up and take her back into the madhouse that was the criminal underworld. But she'd done too many years in deep cover and she was ready to get out.

With her breakfast ready, and a book of Greek mythology tucked under her arm, she made her way to the back patio. It was her favorite place to take in the morning. The sprawling green grass, the intoxicating smell of the flowers, the bubbling of the various elaborate water features scattered over the property… it was a veritable Eden in the hell hole that is Gotham City. She finished her eggs quickly enough, but found that mythology wasn't quite keeping her attention.

Cursing herself for not having a laptop, she started to make a mental list of errands to run that day. Getting a computer was top of the list, along with perhaps a decent phone. While she loved being able to angrily slam shut her ancient flip phone she could appreciate the convenience of having all the world's knowledge in her pocket. Then perhaps to the supermarket. While Alfred did an excellent job of keeping the house well stocked there were some little things she wanted to get. After that, she wondered if she should give Bruce's credit card a real workout and go clothes shopping. Then maybe-

"Father wanted you to meet him at the office as soon as you're able."

Harley nearly jumped out of her skin. She did jump out of the chair, tipping it over as she whirled around to see Damian standing just a few feet behind her with his arms crossed and a sour look on his face. She'd nearly forgotten he existed, he was so new to the family.

"He has paperwork for you." Damian turned on his heels and started to march back into the house, but was stopped by Harley's hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off and glared at her. "What do you want?"

"I get the feelin' you're mad at me for some reason," she started, her hand dropping back to her side.

"You're wrong. I act like this around everyone," he replied curtly.

"I hope we're gonna be good friends one day," she said with a smile, offering to hand to him. "We are family after all."

He slapped her hand away, his glare intensifying. "You're no family of mine."

With one final nod, he stormed off, leaving Harley on the patio with a shocked look and a heavy heart.

* * *

"So there's the estate paperwork first and foremost, then we have to get your practitioner's license renewed, then I thought I could take a half day today and we could pick up anything you need. Like a car. And a new phone. And maybe while we're out we can pick up some dildos and chocolate sauce and go get fucked by a couple of street whores."

"What?" Harley refocused, realizing that she'd been spacing out. Bruce sat across from her at the large conference table, folders and paperwork scattered between them. The frown on his face and the arch of his eyebrow were all Harley needed to know she was being rude. "Sorry, Bruce. I didn't sleep well last night."

"The whole house knows you didn't sleep well last night," he said as he slid a file folder over to her with a fancy fountain pen. "You even woke up Diana and she sleeps like the dead."

"I'll try to keep my nightmare induced screaming at a lower volume tonight." She gave him a sarcastic, nasty grin and ripped open the folder. "Where do I sign?"

"There are flags. I didn't say that to be mean. I just meant that I know you had a rough night." He was trying to apologize, but Harley was now in a bad mood.

"No fuckin' shit," she hissed as she looked over the papers. It sobered her and she sighed. Her parents death had hit her hard, and there she was signing the papers for her inheritance. Cancer had taken her father, a broken heart, her mother. At the time she couldn't claim what was left to her in their wills, so Bruce had it kept in holding for her. "They left me the summer house? I thought they sold it ages ago."

"Tried to sell it. But they asked too high a price and didn't want to budge. When they died, I took the liberty of taking it off the market."

"Good call." Harley loved that summer home. It was just ten miles outside of Gotham City but it felt like a different world. It was nestled in the sleepy little Village of Gotham, the original farming town that the first settlers of the city came from. It was nothing like it's big city counterpart, quiet, peaceful, and full of history. Harley would relish the six weeks they spent there every summer. "I was thinking of opening a private practice. What better place than the Village?"

"Right in the city where the majority of your clients will probably come from?"

Harley shrugged. "So they get out of the city for an hour. That's better therapy than I can provide, I'll tell ya that much."

"Speaking of therapy," Bruce started as she handed all the signed document back to him, "I've been asking around. There's an interesting position open that I think you might like, so I put in a good word for you. They're anxious for an interview."

"So long as it ain't Arkham."

* * *

"GRAYSON!"

Dick cringed as he heard Gordon calling his name. He'd woken up with a pounding headache that hadn't gone away no matter how many painkillers he took. On Mike's advice he drank coffee all day (to open up constricted blood vessels, supposedly to relieve the headache) but all it did was make him dehydrated and shaky. He slowly rose from his desk, glaring daggers at his partner as he did so.

"Don't look at me like that, man," Mike said with a chuckle, putting his hands behind his head. "The broken coffee pot is all you."

"NOW, GRAYSON!"

He cringed again as he glanced over to the coffee pot. The last trip he'd made over there, his shaking hands betrayed him, causing him to pull the top of the Keurig down just a _little_ too forcefully, and instead ripped it off. He was sure that's what the Commissioner was yelling about. After all, one gets between a cop and his coffee at one's own peril. He made his way to the office as quickly as his headache would allow him, ignoring the CSI team performing the funeral march on their nose flutes again, and slipped into the office. He was grateful Gordon liked to keep the lights dim (usually incase the Bat decided to visit) and visibly relaxed a little. The soft light did wonders for his migraine.

"Did you need me for something, Commissioner?" Dick asked as he rubbed his eyes a little.

"You look terrible, son," Gordon chidded as he moved files around on his desk. "Getting enough sleep?"

"I'm fine," he lied, sitting in the chair that Gordon motioned to. "I'm sure you didn't shout at me to ask me if I'm okay. What's up?"

"I'm interviewing for a new police psychologist," Gordon said casually as he read through another file. Dick felt sorry for whoever he would choose. The last shrink ran out after the special victims unit gave him a particularly nasty hazing. "You've got a well trained bullshit-o-meter. I want you in with me on the meetings over the next couple of days. Just get a feel for the candidate."

"Is that all, Commish?" Dick asked, taking the file with the candidates names. "Or do you want me to run this by the Bat and see-oh."

"Oh? Did you see a name you recognize?"

"Yeah I do. You're so fond of my bullshit-o-meter, Gordon, do you want the woman who calibrated it?" Gordon nodded and handed him a pen to circle the name. "I'm glad this is what you wanted to talk to me about. I thought for sure I was gonna get fired for the coffee pot."

"What happened the to the coffee-"

"Nothing."

Dick left the office a few minutes later, grateful that he didn't get yelled at too badly about the coffee. According to Gordon, the machine was very old and he'd been looking for an excuse to replace it. He barely registered the shout of 'Incoming!' before he saw something hurtling towards his head in his peripheral vision. Instinct took over and he performed a flawless spinning kick to knock whatever it was off course. The entire precinct stared at him in shock as a bottle rocket crashed into the back wall, soda exploding all over a criminal being brought up from processing.

"Sanders!" he shouted as the CSI ran over to him with a sheepish grin. "What the fuck?"

"Sorry, Dick, it was an experiment gone awry," Sanders said with a chuckle. "Are you alright? Where did you learn a move like that?"

Dick just shrugged. "Junior High Karate Club," was his answer as he shoved his hands on his pockets and strolled back to his desk. His head was instantly down, hands fumbling for his hat to cover the last bit of light. "Mike… You might want to warn the coroner that he'll be having my body on his slab soon." His partner just laughed.

* * *

 _It is good to be home_ , Dick thought as he opened the door to his apartment. It was the first time he was able to be back since being blown up and he finally felt like he could relax. He closed and locked the door, throwing his hat, bag, and keys on the side table. He shuffled into the mostly unused state of the art kitchen and riffled through the fridge until he found an apple. It was a little soft, but he figured it should be just fine. Ready to veg out with a video game for a few hours before patrol, he turned towards the living room, where he promptly dropped the apple and gaped at the group assembled.

"Kori!" he shouted, half surprised, half excited, and jogged over to give her a hug. He was so exhausted that he hadn't noticed her, Raven, Garfield, and Cyborg in his living room waiting for him to come back. He took a good look at his former team for a minute and grinned at what he saw. Cyborg, of course, he'd seen just recently on the Watchtower. Kori was always tall, but now she towered over even Cyborg, all muscles and smiles, clearly pleased with ruling over her home again. Raven was the next who had changed the most, and Dick was surprised to see that domestic life agreed with her. She'd grown out her hair and look much less grouchy as she sat cuddled with Garfield. He was the only one who was unchanged, except for the fact that he'd gotten a bit taller and greener. "What are you guys doing here? I thought you went back to Tamaran?"

"I did, and now I have returned," Kori said with a smile, green eyes glowing brightly. "Raven asked me to come."

"You never called me back," Raven said with a sigh, not moving from the loveseat that she and Garfield occupied. He was up, though, jumping into Dick's arms and transforming into a green baby koala to cling to him.

"We got worried about you, man!" Garfield cried, his eyes growing big with tears. "We heard about the explosion and thought you were a goner!"

"I'm fine!" Dick said with a chuckle, petting his fluffy friend. He turned to Cyborg, who just chuckled. "You saw me on the Watchtower, why didn't you say anything?"

"I did," Cyborg defended, crossing his massive mechanical arms over his chest. "They still insisted on coming to see you."

"How did you even get in?" he asked, turning to Kori for an explanation. She just took his hand and pressed a key into it.

"I never gave you your key back," she said softly, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "It is good to see you well, Dick. I, too, thought you were 'a goner'."

"Man it's good to see you guys," Dick said with a smile, truly happy to see his good friends. "How about pizza and video games, for old times' sake?"

"Awesome!" Garfield cried as he jumped out of Dick's arms, morphing into a bird to fly around the room in excitement.

"That sounds wonderful," Kori nodded, floating over to the tv to see if she remembered how to set everything up.

"I got the pizza," Cyborg grinned, phone already in hand. Dick handed him his credit card as Raven tapped him on the shoulder.

"Can I talk to you in private?" she asked, pointing towards his bedroom, the only room in the house to have a door on it. He nodded and followed her, none of the others trying to stop him, but he did notice the looks of worry on their faces. Once the door was shut, Raven pulled down her hood and stared him straight in the eyes. "We heard about Harley. How are you doing?"

Dick looked down sheepishly and ran a hand through his hair. Unlike his break up with Barbara, he _knew_ why he and Kori ended. The relationship was on its last legs when they had a rather savage argument that lead to Dick storming out onto the streets of Gotham looking for trouble. Trouble ended up finding him in the form of very sexy jester. They found an abandoned apartment building to fool around in, not realizing that Raven had followed them. She didn't confront him for a couple of days and he was still unsure if it was because she was giving him time to cool off or if she was waiting for him to confess without prodding. Either way, she didn't judge, instead giving him the calm, sage-like advice he'd come to know from her. When he finally spoke to Kori, it turned out that she'd known about Harley for some time. Their relationship fizzled out after that, but they stayed friends. It didn't take long for Garfield and Cyborg to find out about it, though.

He wanted to tell her that he was perfectly fine, but the concern on her face told him that she wouldn't believe him even though it was the truth. Then he remembered, the papers all reported her dead. His friends must have thought he was going through some kind of grieving. With the true motivation for their visit suddenly clear in his mind, he gave Raven a soft smile.

"I've been better, that's for sure," he said, shrugging. He couldn't meet her eyes and instead looked up towards the ceiling. Sighing heavily, he spoke again. "Sorry for not calling you back. It's been… busy."

"I can imagine," she droned in her usual monotone, but there was an edge of compassion in her voice that he'd been seeing more and more recently. "If you need anything, we're all here for you. We'll still be a team even if we're not fighting together anymore."

"I appreciate that, Raven, thank you," he said with a grin, pulling her in for a hug. "I couldn't have asked for better friends." She returned his hug briefly before pulled away and giving him a nod. He didn't let her get too far, instead wrapped his arm around her shoulder and lead her back into the living room. They all looked up when he came in, eager to see how he was. He just gave him his trademark grin and looked at the TV. "Mario Party? I thought we all wanted to stay friends!"

* * *

The next day, Dick sat at his desk in a considerably better mood than the day before. The surprise visit from the old Titans was just what he needed to lift his spirits. Bruce didn't even call him out for patrol that night, so they were all able to play video games and gorge themselves on pizza until they inevitably passed out from a food coma around 1 am. He woke up to see Garfield and Raven curled up together on the couch and Cyborg in sleep mode in the corner. Kori had fallen asleep with her head on his shoulder, though when he woke up she had found her way into his lap with his arms wrapped around her. It was a nice way to wake up and reminded him that normalcy was almost possible in this life.

Even seeing the CSI team up to another hair-brained experiment didn't sour his mood. Nor did the fact that the coffee maker was yet to be replaced. Or that his desk was filled with reports that needed finishing and filing. Nothing was going to ruin his mood. Not even Bruce blowing up his phone with texts messages. He just turned off his phone and smiled at his partner, who was glowering at him.

"When you're happy, hell freezes over, you know that right?" Mike asked him, narrowing his eyes as Dick just grinned.

"Don't be hatin'," Dick chuckled, signing off another report and tossing it into the out bin.

"I will 'be hatin'' all I wan- ho-ly shit." Mike's eyes landed on someone behind Dick and his jaw dropped to the floor. Interested, Dick turned in his chair and a similar expression came on to his face. "Now that is an angel heaven sent. What did we do to deserve that?"

Everyone in the precinct turned to stare at the woman standing just inside the doors. Harley felt almost ridiculous in her sharp blazer, crisp blouse, pencil skirt, and pumps. It had been so long since she had to dress professionally, and with everyone staring at her, she felt self conscious. Perhaps if she'd worn her hair in a bun instead of loose, or put her contacts in, or not worn so much make up-

"Lee!" She turned sharply to see Dick waving to get and walking swiftly over. She'd nearly forgotten he was a cop. Regretting every choice she'd made that morning, she gave him a soft smile and adjusted her bag to her other shoulder. He gave her a greeting kiss on the cheek and grinned. "You look amazing. Come on, I want to introduce you to everyone."

"Dick, I can't, I'm here for an interview," she said quickly as his arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her through the precinct.

"I know, and Gordon's running a bit late," he explained, looking back at the empty office. "Don't worry, we have plenty of time to make some introductions. Better that everyone likes you now, lest Grissom and his team decide to point their experiments your way."

"What are you talking about?" she asked frantically, suddenly terrified about what this job would entail. She didn't get a chance to answer before Dick was dragging her towards a blonde man who had yet to pick up his jaw from the floor.

"Lee, this is my partner, Mike Wilkinson. Mike, this is Lee," Dick said, wiggling his eyebrows at his partner. He didn't want to start bragging about Lee, and hoped Mike would take the hint.

"Such a pleasure, Madam," Mike said, taking her hand and kissing the back of it. "Did you come to sweep us to the Halls of Valhalla, dearest Valkyrie?"

"You are married!" she cried only half in shock and very flattered.

"I'm allowed to look at the menu even if I can't order off it," he replied with a smile, picking up the picture of his wife, son, and daughter he kept on his desk. "I do love my wife, even if she drives me up a tree sometimes. Speaking of, Dick, she keeps asking me when we're going to have you over for dinner next. She's worried you don't eat since everything you cook turns into poison." Dick turned bright red as Harley laughed. Mike just winked. "Remind me to tell you about the time Dick almost drove into a store front because his blood sugar crashed later. But for now, I think you have an appointment."

The two turned to see Gordon striding back into the office, hat in hand and coat half off. He locked eyes with Dick and waved them over, heading straight into the office. Harley gulped and followed close behind him, her steps becoming more and more rigid the closer she got to the office. How could she have let Bruce convince her this was a good idea? She faced off against so many of these officers, even killed some, how could any of them trust her as a psychiatrist? What if this was all one big trap and they were going to arrest her the second she stepped into the office? What if-

"Relax, doll, everything's fine," Dick whispered into her ear as he led her the rest of the way into the office. "Just a regular job interview." He held a chair out for her and watched her sit down in a state of shock. Patting her shoulder, he took up his position behind Gordon, leaning on the wall and looking intimidating, as per to instructions.

"So Doctor Quinzel," Gordon started, shaking Harley from her stupor. "Your credentials are very impressive. You're highly qualified, and the recommendations I've received on your behalf almost make me want to make you an offer. I just have a couple of questions I'd like answered, if you don't mind."

"Of course not," she said with a soft smile, toning down her accent as much as she could. She knew Gordon wasn't stupid, so she'd make it as hard as she could for him to recognize her. Taking a deep breath and pushing her glasses up her nose she continued, "Ask away, Commissioner."

"Just a couple of points I'd like to clear up," Gordon said, tapping on her file. "You used to work at Arkham and then dropped off the face of the earth. What made you leave?"

She knew that was coming, and had prepared a statement with Bruce the night before. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and cleared her throat. "Well you know Arkham isn't the greatest of places. I knew I was way too young to be working there when I started, but I couldn't resist. And I was made a very generous offer. But after a year there I started to get burnt out. I was losing myself in my patients and, if I can be frank, I was starting to go a bit mad myself. Had to get out of there."

"So you left. And went where?"

"I left America, to try and get my head on straight again. Traveled around Europe for a bit, attending conferences, writing my book, and of course staying on top of all the latest research in the field."

"What's your book about?" Dick asked, genuinely curious.

"Just expounding on my doctoral thesis, it's pretty boring," she said flippantly. It was actually about the minds of super villains and their complex psychology. There were a few books out, but hers was more comprehensive by far.

"And what was that thesis?" Gordon asked, looking like he was writing something down. From where Dick was standing, he could see it was just scribbles.

"It was about the complexities of dissociative identity disorder." The blank looks she got showed she needed to explain. "Multiple personalities."

"I see. And what brought you back to the States?" Gordon asked.

"My cousin's wedding, for the most part," she replied with a smile. Bruce told Gordon about their familial relationship already. "And, between us, his youngest son has been having some troubles adjusting. He asked me to come back to lend my professional assistance."

"Does that mean you won't be staying in Gotham?"

"Well now that I'm back, I don't think I'll be leaving again any time soon. I missed this city."

"You know that this position is only part time, right? Mostly on call."

"I understand. Once the renewal on my license is finalized, I'm going to be setting up a private practice in the Village."

"...You don't have a valid practitioner's license?"

"Not at the moment. Didn't need one when I was traveling. I'm taking the test tomorrow, though."

"Well, why don't we put a pin in this until you have your license and we can pick this back up when you're legal. How's that sound?"

Harley just nodded and they finished up quickly after that. Not much more to say when she wasn't licensed. Dick led her out, an impish smile on his face.

"I think that went well, don't you?" he asked with a smirk. She just punched his arm.

* * *

 _Next Chapter Preview:_

 _"One of these days, Clark, I swear to god…" Bruce muttered, rubbing his eyes with one hand._

 _"I know, I know," Clark laughed. "You're going to break your no killing rule on me. I believe you'll do it too."_

 _"Then stop tempting me," Bruce hissed, a dangerous flash in his eyes._

* * *

 _AN: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter~ Say tune for the final update before summer hiatus~_


	13. Chapter 13

_AN: Welcome back all~ As I said last time, due to being in the NY Ren Faire, regular updates will be put on hold until some point in October. Thank you all for understanding and sticking with the story~ I promise you will not be dissapointed!_

* * *

Chapter 13

As predicted, Harley passed the test with flying colors. This impressed Gordon beyond measure, and offered her the position the next day. With employment secured, and renovations on the Village house underway, Harley felt that a real life was possible. It was wonderful knowing that she could pick up where she left off before the Joker. Some days she could almost forget about him.

That's how she left, at least, for the two and a half weeks preceding Damian's birthday party. Everything was fine until he awoke that morning in an absolute fit. Apparently in the middle of the night puberty hit and his voice had cracked. His response was to throw a tantrum of high pitched hysterics that just gave everyone a headache.

"I _just_ turned thirteen _today!_ " he shrieked at the breakfast table. Bruce rubbed his temples, taking another sip of coffee. " _How_ can this _already_ be _happening?!_ "

"Good thing you'll have the attention off you," Diana quipped as she buttered her toast. "My mother finally told me this morning that she will be attending the party tonight."

"Is that why you were talking to your mirror?" Bruce asked with a knowing smirk. Diana just rolled her eyes.

"Kinda of _rude_ to rsvp _on the day_ don't you _think_?" Diaman asked, clearing his throat and trying to stop the cracking.

"While I agree," Bruce started, feeling his fiance already glaring daggers at him, "she is a queen. She can do whatever she wants. We're going to make her feel welcome and part of the family and you are going to keep your attitude in check or so help me god-!"

"Here drink this." Harley cut Bruce off as she placed a mug of some pungent brew in front of Damian. Diana quickly excused herself and Damian took an inquisitive sniff. "Bruce, will you let your son be teenager? If he wants to be grumpy on his birthday, let him."

"What witches brew are you trying to poison him with?" Bruce asked, watching Damian take a sip and wrinkle his nose in disgust.

"It ain't no witches brew," she chided. "If you remember, my second master's degree is in holistic medicine. Try to drink it, Damian. It'll help your vocal chord relax so they'll stop breaking."

"Can I get this on tap?" he asked, choking the tea down and already feeling better. She just smiled and patted his shoulder before walking out of the room, Alfred pointing her in the direction that Diana ran off in. She found the princess in the bathroom, hunched over the sink with the water running. "You alright, Di?"

"That tea smelled disgusting," Diana groaned, shutting off the water.

"Well it doesn't taste much better, I can tell ya that," Harley said with a chuckle. She put a hand on Diana's back and rubbed it in small circles. "Are you feeling alright? You don't _have_ to go to the party tonight if you're not up to it."

"Of course I'm up to it, it's my mother," she groaned, pushing her hair behind her ears. "I just need to get my stomach under control…"

Harley produced a blue roller bottle from her pocket and pressed it into Diana's hand. "A little bit on the temples, the wrists, and the soles of your feet. Do it every time you feel nauseous. I'll get Alfred to make you a cup of tea."

"Not that stuff you made Damian," Diana said in a panic as Harley started to leave the bathroom. She just laughed.

"No. Earl Grey."

* * *

The party started very nice. The main members of the Justice League were there (not in costume, of course) along with all the upper crust of Gotham and the entire batfamily. The one notable absence was Queen Hippolyta. The longer she didn't show, the more Diana grew nervous. She was the only one, though, Bruce and the boys were glad that she wasn't there.

"Happy birthday, baby bro!" Jason's exuberant call was heard through the entire hall, making Damian cringe. He emerged just a second later, looking very sharp in a new suit and a large wrapped box tucked under his arm. He thrust the box under Damian's nose with a shit eating grin. "Open it. Come on."

Diaman did, setting it down on the floor to rip open the wrapping paper. He didn't care about the few eyes on him, he felt like breaking some rules tonight. He opened the box and saw a green helmet sitting inside of it, with the trademark 'R' of Robin painted onto the side. He arched his brow at Jason as he was tossed a set of keys.

"The bike is in the cave ready for its maiden voyage." Jason grinned as he watched the realization dawn on Damian's face. He closed up the box and tucked it under his arm again. "I"ll hide this from Papa Bat for now. Have fun."

Jason disappeared as quickly as he came, but was quickly replaced by Clark Kent. He wasn't dressed for a party, instead in his usual trenchcoat and hat that went along with his 'I'm just a reporter' lark. He also held a box in his hand, though this was much smaller and more retangular. He winked at Damian as he handed it to him.

"This is from those of us _in the know_ ," Clark said with a grin as Damian pulled the top off the box. Inside rest twin butterfly knives, black, with the bat symbol emblazoned on the handle. He was about to speak with a groan stopped him. Bruce had materialized behind his son, shaking his head in disappointment.

"One of these days, Clark, I swear to god…" Bruce muttered, rubbing his eyes with one hand.

"I know, I know," Clark laughed. "You're going to break your no killing rule on me. I believe you'll do it too."

"Then stop tempting me," Bruce hissed, a dangerous flash in his eyes.

Before Clark could respond, the doors of the hall swept violently open and a wind tore through and ruffled everyone's hair and clothes. There was a bright light in the door and a slim, silhouetted figure came striding in in flowing white clothes. As the light died down, Queen Hippolyta stood like a goddess among men (over an hour late), her dress flowing like water with every step, her diamond jewelry sparkling like mini suns. It seemed like she purposely overdressed, and looked down her nose as everyone as she passed. When Diana rushed up to her, a smile finally came to the queen's face. Bruce forced a smile on his as his sons all slid up next to him.

"Well now we know where Diana gets her looks from, eh?" Dick whispered to Tim with a chuckle.

"Was that ever a question?" Tim whispered back.

"I questioned it," Jason muttered as he pushed in between the two to take his proper spot. "I thought she got her looks from Daddy dearest. Hades."

"Shut up," Bruce hissed as the two women made their way over. Bruce gave a small bow and waved for his sons to do the same. "Queen Hippolyta."

"Mother, this is my fiance, Bruce," Diana introduced, linking her arm through Bruce's. "And these are his sons, Richard, Jason, Timothy, and Damian. Today is Damian's thirteenth birthday. This is his party, actually."

"Why was I not invited to your engagement party?" Hippolyta sneered, staring her daughter down.

"We didn't have one," Diana said hesitantly. Bruce had thought it a bad idea, worried about all the possible ways it could go wrong, and at the time Diana agreed with him. The look she was getting from her mother was making her regret that decision.

"Four sons?" Hippolyta asked, arching a brow at Bruce. "And their mother is… where? Will an angry ex-wife come snipping at my daughter?"

"Mother I already told you-"

"I want to hear it from him!"

Diana took a step back, wide eyed at her mother's shout. Some of the party goers looking curiously in their direction. Damian smirked, as the attention was successfully off him. Bruce cleared his throat, his gaze hardening as he stepped up the queen.

"Damian is my only blood son," Bruce explained. "I adopted the other boys when they were orphaned."

"And _his_ mother?" The glare the queen landed on Damian made his blood run cold and his vision turn red.

"She died some time ago," Bruce said, looking down. Damian took in a sharp breath and gritted his teeth.

"Taking in orphans and bastards, you are just a man of good character, aren't you?" the queen sneered, making Bruce's eyes snapped back up and glare at her.

"I try to be." Dick placed a hand on Bruce's shoulder and felt him shaking.

"Your Majesty," Dick said with a grin, offering his hand to her. She tentatively took it and he kissed the back, giving her his trademark grin. She just glowered at him, but he didn't falter. "It is an absolute pleasure to meet you. You have an amazing daughter and I think I speak for all of my brothers when I say that we are honored to soon be calling her 'Mom'."

"So you finally chose a date, then?" Hippolyta asked, turning back to Bruce, who gave Dick a sideways glare. "When will I get to meet your parents, Bruce? I'd like to see what kind of stock you come from. Well? Are they around?"

An uneasy silence fell over the group that the queen noticed right away. She didn't say anything, just arched a perfectly formed eyebrow at them and waited for an answer.

"My parents died 30 years ago," Bruce muttered, threading his fingers through Diana's and took a steadying breath. He looked around and saw Harley near the cocktail table and waved her over.

Dick's breath hitched as he watched her walked over and had to look down. To him, she was more beautiful than the queen. She had on a simple black cocktail dress and her hair was pulled into an elegantly messy bun. Harley smiled at the queen and gave her a little curtsy.

"This is my cousin, Harleen," Bruce said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "She's the closest thing I have to a sister and some of the only family I have left."

"Common," came the short reply from the queen.

The call of dinner being served saved the queen from Harley's wrath. As it was, both Dick and Jason were needed to hold her back. All the guests filed into the dining hall, finding they names on little place cards. Damian actually took the initiative to lead Hippolyta to her seat, the first seat to Bruce's left, with Diana sitting on her other side. The queen looked like a vein was about to burst and didn't sit when everyone else did. Bruce looked between Damian and Diana like he had no idea what was happening.

"Is this some kind of an insult?" she asked, her voice never raising but they could tell she was annoyed. "Seating me to the left? My people are Greek. We always place an important guest on the right."

"Yes, but we are Scandinavian," Damian explained with a charming smile. "And for us, the place of utmost honor is to the host's left. It's a sign of respect, Your Majesty, it means he trusts you on his weak side." Pointedly, he took his seat to his father's right, to the left of Dick.

Hippolyta huffed, but sat down. The appetizer course went smoothly with everyone managing to make pleasant small talk. Dick could barely take his eyes off Harley, who sat on his other side. At one point he grabbed her hand under the table and gave it a squeeze. She gave him a look as he just smiled.

"Are you ever going to run away with me?" he whispered to her, watching Bruce out of the corner of his eye.

"I was waiting for that," she giggled, brushing a piece of hair from her face. "Here I was starting to worry you didn't want to no more."

"Is that a yes?"

"That's an 'ask me later'."

It was when the soup was cleared and the main course was about to come out that the night went from bad to worse. It seemed Hippolyta was finished with the pleasantries as she threw her napkin down and turned to Diana, keeping her back pointedly to Bruce.

"Why don't you come home, Diana?" she asked with what seemed like a nice smile, but there was an edge of anger. "You are a goddess. You don't belong with these mortals. Come home, with your sisters, with me."

"I'm not leaving, Mother," Diana said with a sigh, taking a sip of water.

"Why not?" Hippolyta pressed, leaning forward a bit. "You don't belong here, you belong on Themyscira!"

"You banished me from Themyscira!" Diana snapped back. "These… mortals took me in, gave me a home and a place to belong. I have a life and a family and friends-"

"You have all of that on the island!" Hippolyta cried, making a few people look over at them. "We miss you, Diana, come home!"

"No! I'm staying here!"

"You're better than this, Diana! Why stay?!"

"BECAUSE I'M PREGNANT!"

The room fell completely silent at Diana's outburst, even the band stopped playing. Everyone was looking at her in varying degrees of shock (except Harley and Clark). Bruce had been looking down at his plate when the argument took place and was now staring wide eyes at it, completely rigid as he tried to process what he just heard. Hippolyta looked like she was going to breathe fire out her nose she was so angry and trying to hold it in. Diana didn't know what to feel as she looked around the room, her eyes settling on Bruce, who wasn't taking it well. Feeling her eyes, he looked up, white at a sheet from fear.

"Can I speak to you in private?" His words came out as a squeak as he stood, Diana following close behind him.

As the door closed behind them, noise returned to the room as people started gossiping. Hippolyta left in a flurry of fabric, making more than a few people breath easier. The BatBros all looked around a little nervous until they looked towards Harley, who was smuggly sipping her drink.

"When did you figure it out?" Jason asked, looking at her knowingly across the table.

"The day I came home," she said with a casual shrug. "It was obvious. You mean you guys didn't know?"

* * *

Bruce led Diana to the balcony and leaned heavily on it, taking a few large gulps of fresh air as he did so. He turned to Diana, who stood a few feet away wringing her hands together. She looked at him with pleading eyes, to say something, and he looked away again to get his words straight.

"How far along are you?" he asked, squeezing the balcony.

"Twelve weeks," she said softly. "I'll start showing soon. I guess that mean I'll need new clothes…"

"Twelve weeks," he echoed, thinking back to where they were almost three months ago. "Paris?"

"Barcelona, more likely," she said with a small smile.

"Barcelona…"

"They're girls," she offered, hoping that would soften the blow a little. It didn't. Instead he spun around to face her, eyes big as saucers.

"Plural?" he asked, his voice going high pitched again.

"Triplets." She bit her lip, trying to smile as his expression softened a little.

"Three girls…" He turned back to the landscape, trying to get his breathing under control. He cleared his throat and turned to her, his expression finally back under control. "You're pregnant."

"Yes," she said, breathing out a laugh. He gathered her up in his arms, hugging her so tightly it was a little hard to breath, but she let him. "Are you mad?"

"Mad?" he asked with a laugh, pulling back to look her in the eyes. "How can I be mad? You're going to have _my_ daughters! You're going to… oh boy…"

"Breathe, Bruce!" she laughed, giving him a little shake as the panic set in again.

"How do I do that again?" He took a step back and ran a hand through his hair, trying to figure out breathing. "We will have to set a date…"

"Roughly May 15th," Diana said casually, remembering what the doctor told her. Bruce's eyebrows came together and she smiled. "My due date."

"I was talking about a wedding date, but that's good to know."

* * *

By the time Diana and Bruce returned to the room, normalcy had deceneded once again. They got through the rest of dinner without a hitch. By the time they moved back into the main hall for some dancing, they announced (finally) that they would wed at the end of November. He wanted to do it sooner rather than later so Diana could still fit in her dress without major alterations. They received congratulations from all assembled, even Damian looked excited at the prospect of sisters. He called it "the best birthday present ever".

Dick watched his family from a distance, half excited, half depressed. Of course he was happy for Bruce and of course he was happy they were having kids, but he felt strangely empty inside. There was a time he almost had that with Barbara and he missed it. Not her, not really, but the idea of her. A loving wife and a (somewhat) normal life with kids. Part of him knew he shouldn't rush things, he was only 25 after all. He had plenty of time. But as he looked at Bruce, nearly 40 and just starting to get his life in order, he frowned. He didn't want to become a crabby old man that only found love through happenstance.

 _Speaking of love_ , he thought as he saw Harley coming his way with a breathtaking smile on her face. Now there was a woman he could see as a wife. While he acknowledge that she was probably right, he was clinging to what she was all those years ago, but he'd yet to see that the real her had changed any. Perhaps he didn't know her, but he wanted to. So he steeled himself to asked her out as she approached.

"Let's do it," she said so suddenly that he completely deflated. She stood resolute, a look in her eyes that she wouldn't be dissuaded from… whatever she wanted.

"Do what?" he asked, completely confused.

"Run away together. Right now. You in?"

* * *

 _Next Chapter Preview:_

 _He lit a cigarette, took a long drag, and blew the smoke out towards the stars._

 _"Good luck, Dick."_

* * *

 _AN: AAHH a cliffhanger to leave you on for three months~ Thanks in advance for everyone who hands in until October~ Feel free to message me in the meantime if you think of things you want to see in the story or, really, for anything at all. My inbox is always open~_

 _And if you want to come pester me at the Ren Faire, I'll be one of the villagers with red hair and facial tattoos. See you all soon!_


	14. Chapter 14

_AN: GUESS WHO'S BACK?!_

 _I've been playing a lot of the Batman Telltale game so it hooked me back into the fandom. Espeically since I really don't like Batman and Catwoman as a ship, I needed to come back to something I like lol._

 _I'm considering cross posting this on AO3 now that I can. Good idea? Bad idea? We'll see. ENJOY_

* * *

No one noticed Dick and Harley slipping out of the party. They didn't notice when neither was down for breakfast the next morning. They didn't think it odd at all that Dick's car was still in the garage, or that he wasn't answering texts in his usual speedy fashion. They didn't realize something was amiss when Harley didn't answer her phone. No one bothered to check their rooms. No one thought to look for Harley's car.

They did notice something was off when Dick didn't show up for patrol that night. When he didn't answer the call from the batcave, eyebrows were raised. When Damian's phone call to him rang once and went to voicemail, they knew something was wrong.

"He _alway_ s answers me," Damian muttered, confused as he just stared at his phone and cursing as his voice cracked again. "Even when he's busy he answers…"

"Something's wrong," Batman said, finally acknowledging that something was amiss. Damian was right, while Dick might ignore a bat-call, he never ignored his baby brother. He turned to Tim, who hadn't left after the party. "Can you trace his cell phone?"

Tim just help up his palm computer, showing the locator program running. "Way ahead of you."

"Hey," Jason spoke up, having been quiet for the majority of the day and evening until that point. "Just a thought but… Seen Harley today?"

Batman's hand thumped down on the console and an air of realization hit them. Having been without her in the house for so many years, not having her there didn't seem wrong. In fact, from the excitement of the night before, they all forgot she was supposed to be there. Damian and Tim shared a look and a smile crept over the elder's face.

"They did it," Tim breathed, the smile spreading. "They actually did it. They ran away!"

"Let's not jump to that conclusion," Batman snapped, making them look at him in shock. "Jason, Damian, go check their rooms. Tim, I want to know the second you ping their phones."

Tim nodded and add Harley's phone to the program while Damian and Jason headed upstairs. Jason started to make a beeline for Harley's room, but Damian stopped him, telling him that a pantie raid can wait, and directed him to Dick's room. Instead Damian himself headed farther down the hall and pushed the door to her room open.

It didn't look like anything was out of place. The bed was made, everything was in a spot, neat and tidy. But her phone charger was missing, and so was her hair brush. Closer inspection of the drawers showed usually neat and folded clothes were all eschew, stuffed back in at random. Her make up was completely gone from the vanity, the only thing left to indicate it was even used was small dust rings. Even in her closet he saw empty hangers everywhere and spots where shoes should have been. In the bathroom all of her toiletries were gone.

He immediately ran to Dick's room, where Jason was finding similar clues. The difference of Dick's room being that Damian knew where his older brother squirreled away a slush fund of cash and a spare suit and gear. It was in a lock box hidden in the floor under his bed. Damian was down in a second and found that the compartment was still open and the entire box was just gone.

They returned to the batcave with heavy hearts and reported their findings. Tim them told them that the GPS had kicked back a location. When Batman pulled up the map, they all cocked their heads. The blip was showing the phones were still in the manor. The four spread out around the mansion to find them, even Diana joined in when she realized Dick was missing. They didn't find the phones, or the people who own them, but they did find what kicked back the signal in Jason's room. It was amazing they even found anything it was such a disaster, but Tim managed to find a small device that scrambled the gps signal.

Even knowing that the signal was scrambled, it didn't make it any easier for Tim to get a decent location on them. He was the only one that had a hope, he was a great hacker, but Dick was just _that_ much better than him. If they'd taken Dick's car, they would have been able to check the gps tracker Bruce embedded in that. However, as they had taken Harley's car, which was new, it didn't have the tracker in it yet. The suit that Dick took didn't have a tracker either, Bruce didn't even know Dick had a spare suit laying around.

They were at a loss until Damian got a Facebook notification.

 _Dick Grayson updated his profile picture._

Curious, he opened it, and then shouted at everyone to check Facebook. Batman fumbled with his phone as the other two opened Facebook and smiled.

The picture was a sweet one. It was of Dick and Harley cheek to cheek, smiling brightly, eyes shining, and looking genuinely happy. The boys couldn't see a ton of background, it was very dark from the flash. There were a couple of comments on it, mostly from Dick's friends from the precinct, all saying how cute they looked together. Someone else asked where they were, but there was no reply.

Careful as they were, Dick had tagged Harley in the photo. 'Lee Wayne' was her moniker on Facebook. Her profile picture gave a couple of clues. It seemed to have been taken either right before or right after Dick's, because they were in basically the same pose, except in this photo they were sharing a sweet kiss. The change in position showed a neon alcohol sign on the wall behind them, a clue that they were probably in a bar. But a bar where became the question.

The answer came an hour later, again on Facebook, when Dick posted a couple of videos. The first video was of Dick, signing a karaoke of "I'm Still Standing", the version from the movie Sing. He was on a long, thin stage that had tables and diners all around. It was a very fancy set up that should have been a dead give away to where they were. The second video was Harley singing "Set it all Free", also from Sing. She was bouncing around the stage, not even looking at the lyrics as she did her acrobatic tricks that made her 'audience' cheer.

"Do I look like I do karaoke?!" Batman snapped when the boys prodded him about the videos. He was saved by the bell when his phone chimed with a text.

 _Oliver Queen 10:58_

 _I don't want to hear a single word out of you the next time I send Roy to Gotham._

 _Bruce 11:05_

 _What are you talking about?_

 _Oliver Queen 11:06_

 _Really? I'm not and idiot. I know you sent Dick for some nefarious purposes!_

 _Bruce 11:10_

 _Is Dick in Starling?_

 _Oliver Queen 11:10_

 _!_

 _Don't act like you had nothing to do with this! I know you sent him!_

"Dick is in Starling City," Batman announced after the too-long conversation with Oliver. The others look at him in shock. Even Diana was confused.

"Starling?" she asked, trying to remember her geography. "It's 600 miles away! How did they get there so fast?"

"That all depends on when they left," Batman said with a sigh as he dialed the police station.

" _Gordon,"_ came the answer after one ring.

"Commissioner," Batman said simply, hearing a heavy sigh on the other end. He was calling from his cellphone, which he was sure displayed the name 'Bruce Wayne' on the caller ID.

" _I don't want to be rude, Bruce, but I was just about to go home. What do you want?"_ was Gordon's snippy reply.

"Did Dick come in to work today?" Batman asked, getting a raised brow from Damian. He put it on speaker and waited for Gordon's answer.

" _Oh I thought you knew… He resigned this morning."_ Damian very nearly fell off the console when he heard.

Batman raised a hand to him to wait a minute. "Thank you for letting me know, Gordon."

" _Just make sure your good for nothing son knows that when you resign from a career, you usually give two weeks notice. Good night."_ The phone was slammed down on Gordon's end and silence descended the batcave.

"They did it," Jason muttered, breaking the silence after a tense minute. He crossed his arms over his chest, eyes locked on the floor by his feet. "Holy shit, they actually did it."

Batman didn't have the energy to scold him for his language. They all just sat there in a stunned silence for a while, not sure what to say or do. There was a realization coming over them that the two really were gone. A heavy sigh came from Tim when they figured out that they'd never see Dick again. Damian stormed off to a dark corner of the batcave and came out a good half hour later, dressed in his costume with his mask doing a poor job of hiding tear stained cheeks. Muttering something about going on patrol, he jumped onto the bike Jason bought him (which was very nice and he loved it) he sped out of the batcave and no one stopped him. Tim said he'd follow just to make sure he was safe and Jason shuffled out soon after. That just left Bruce and Diana alone. She went over to him, about to give him a hug and try to reassure him, when his phone went off again.

He saw another Facebook alert and opened it to reveal that Dick added another photo. It was a picture of Harley's hatchback from the trunk side. The seats were down and there was an air mattress blown up with plenty of pillows and blankets to make a very comfortable nest. It was captioned simply " _Night under the stars with my girl"_. He chuckled a little and was about to toss the phone aside when something caught his eyes. Smirking, he realized Dick's mistake. They'd been so careful about framing their photos and videos to not reveal their location, but he was sure Dick hadn't noticed the mile marker in the upper corner of that photo. A very distinctive mile marker that he knew only existed on a 10 mile stretch of the one major highway that lead out of Starling and away from Gotham.

"I know where they are!" he called through the comms. He was bombarded with questions, but he ignored them as he gave Diana a kiss and grabbed the keys for the batmobile.

Happy to finally have a heading, he didn't feel his phone vibrate again. So he didn't get the final notification of the night.

 _Dick Grayson changed his relationship status to 'In a Relationship' with Lee Wayne._

* * *

It took the batfamily a decent part of the night and most of the day to catch up to them. The only reason Batman knew they were headed in the right direction was because at one point Dick and Harley decided to stream live on Facebook their car karaoke session. Not only did it show plenty of signs landmarking where they were, it allowed Tim to lock onto their cell phone signal and track them.

The truth was, even with the scrambled gps, Tim had their exact location within minutes of realizing the two were gone. He hadn't told batman because he wanted to give his brother as long of a head start as he could. He did tell Jason, who agreed. They were actually jealous. It was a fantasy to think that getting out of this life of heroes and villains was possible. If Dick was able to do it, they were happy for him and would help however they could. But when he did stupid stuff like streaming live it was hard for Tim to say he couldn't track them.

They found Harley's car a little before midnight. It was parked outside a quaint little motel just off the highway, on one of those stretches of road that had dozens of hotels, restaurants, and shopping centers for the weary traveler. Batman realized it seemed far too easy and turned to Tim, who was forced to confirm that they were actually at a motel a bit farther down the road. He scowled at that and grappled to the rooftops without a word. The three Robins all stared at each other, wondering if they should follow, and decided that they liked Dick alive. They followed close behind, coming to a stop on the rooftop across the road from the motel.

"Find. Them," Batman hissed at Tim, who already had his palm computer out.

"I… can't…" he said slowly, watching Batman turn dangerously on him. He just waved his computer in front of his step-father's face and growled back, "Did you forget you trained Dick? THIS is not made for hacking shitty security systems and especially not from a distance!"

"When what do you need?" Batman asked through gritted teeth.

Tim sighed, sitting back a moment to think. "I need a line in," he finally said, pulling a little USB plug out of his pocket. "If we can get this plugged into the front desk computer, I'll probably be able to get in. But…" he pulled up a schematic of the building on a little hologram and frowned. "There's only one entrance, one elevator, two staircases. Depending on where they are in the hotel, they could be out before we get in."

"They won't," Batman growled, grappling to the roof of the hotel. " _They got cocky. Let me know when you find the room they're in."_

They heard the tell tell beep of Batman's comm switching off and looked at each other again.

"They didn't get _cocky_ ," Damian said with a sigh as he sat on the edge of the roof. "Dick's too _good_ to do that. They left the clues on _purpose_ - _fuck!_ "

"Yeah they did," Jason said with a chuckle. "You think the big bad Bat realized that?"

"I've never seen him this angry," Tim replied, shrugging. "I don't think he did."

"We can stall," Jason offered, pulling out his phone. "Give them a call and warn them? Distract the Bat and let them get out?" Damian just shook his head and put a hand on Jason's arm.

"They _weren't_ running, this was a dress rehearsal," Damian said with a defeated sigh, clearing his throat to try and stop the cracking. "They want to be found. Let's find them."

"Then I'll go in," Jason said with a smirk, zipping up his jacket and swiping the plug from Tim's hand. "Let's face it, between the three of us, I can pass for the most normal."

They didn't argue, instead just watched Jason grapple down and run across the street. He switched his comm on so his brothers could hear and fixed his hair in the rearview mirror of a nearby truck. He attempted to style it more akin to Dick's usual style and practiced a boyish smile. Content that he could charm anyone at the front desk, he strode in.

"Good evening. Can I help you?" chirped the cheerful young lady behind the front desk. Jason's grin faltered a little as he got nervous, coming up to her and leaning on the counter.

"Gee, Miss, I really hope you can," Jason said sweetly, giving her a sad smile. "My little sister ran away from home the other day with a married guy. We found her car down the road and, well, she wasn't in that hotel, so we're just kinda asking around seeing if we can find her." The girl didn't seem convinced, and Jason leaned forward more to read the name tag. "Shirley? Shirley, look, we don't want to involve the cops because the guy is into some shady stuff…" He looked around and whispered, "drugs." She looked shocked and he continued at a normal volume. "She's only 16 and our dad is worried sick. We don't want her busted for anything she had nothing to do with. Can you help me?"

"Of course!" she said with an enthusiastic not, moving farther down the counter towards the computer. Jason followed her, making sure to stand directly behind it. "Name?"

"Jason," he said with a smirk. "Oh you mean their name? Try Grayson with an 'a'?" Shirley nodded and started typing, but shook her head.

"No one here by that name, sorry."

"Try…. Wayne. W-A-Y-N-E."

"Nope. Sorry again."

"Try this. Q-U-I-N-N-Z-E-L."

"Still nothing."

"Anyone who paid all in cash? Here's her picture, have you seen her?" He pulled up her photo on facebook and handed it to Shirley. While she was distracted with his phone, he plugged in the USB. Or tried to. He had to turn it around and try again.

"I just got in at eleven, you're the first person I've seen all night," she said, handing the phone back.

"Could you let me upstairs? Please, I'm just trying to find my sister."

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave now," Shirley said forcefully, hand going to the desk phone. "If you don't, I'm going to call the police."

Jason threw his hands in the surrender position and went into his jacket to pull out his card. He handed it to her with his practiced boyish grin. It seemed to work, because she softened and took it. "Please if you see her, give me a call? That's my business card, but I wrote my cell phone on the back."

"I will."

"Or you can just call me anytime. I don't live around her but I'm not adverse to traveling."

"Get out."

Jason left quickly, hearing the laughter from his brothers in the comms.

" _Are you really still doing that 'my cell is on the back' thing? That never works!"_ Tim chidded.

"Hey, it shows off my remarkable penmanship," Jason defended himself with a frown.

" _Do women really care about things like that?"_ Damian asked, coughing a little as he felt his voice started to crack again.

"Good penmanship is the mark of a stable person," Jason replied. He had to pull the comm out when the laughing nearly deafened him. So he shouted into it, "Stable in his _life_ not in his _mind!_ " That time he didn't need the comm to hear the raucous laughter from the other rooftop. "I hate you guys."

" _Save it for later,"_ came the angry chide of Batman, back in the conversation. " _Did you locate them yet, Tim?"_

" _Yeah, yeah, I was just about to tell you,"_ Tim sighed, his laughter dying down. " _Jason you're such a dumbass, Dick used his partner's name. Room 303. It's on the left hand side of the hall by the north staircase."_

The comm switched off again and Jason pulled out his cigarettes. He lit one, took a long drag, and blew the smoke out towards the stars.

"Good luck, Dick," he muttered as he sauntered his way back across the street.

* * *

 _Next Chapter Preview:_

 _He loved her._

* * *

 _AN: Worth the wait? lol maybe not. Still. I'm considering writing a prequel to this story all about Bruce and Diana's relationship. Who'd wanna read that?_


	15. Chapter 15

_AN: And we're back with another chapter! Sorry about the wait guys. I've been pulling crazy overtime at work with all this madness going on. I'm still an essential worker. So I'm trying to write as much as I can but I'm exhausted._

 _Enjoy guys!_

* * *

The plan was to only be gone for a few days, a week at the most. Between Harley opening her practice and Dick on the fast track for a promotion, they didn't want to risk upsetting their lives too much. Besides, they were both far too addicted to the hero lifestyle to give it up completely.

But they sure could give the Bat a run for his money.

Damian was right when he said it was a dress rehearsal. They had chosen a good time to vanish, during the chaos of the party and the revelation of Diana's pregnancy. It would be difficult to do again, but there would be other good times to go. The test was once they were gone. Dick didn't scrambled the gps half as well as he could have, the first major clue to the batfamily. He knew Tim would be able to get it quickly. The test was to see if he would tell Bruce.

Once that was done, a quick call to the precinct to cash in on the month of vacation days he'd stored up. Usually one would have to give a week's notice, but Gordon was so relieved that Dick was finally taking a break that he allowed him to do it without penalty. That's when Dick got an idea. He asked Gordon that, should Bruce or any of his brothers call, to say that he'd resigned. Gordon was, understandably, confused but acquiesced. He seemed to understand better than most the troubles of the Wayne family.

After that it was easy. They drove all night, switching on and off to sleep, and then the entire next day to get to Starling. During the car ride, they talked. And talked. And talked. About anything and everything, from a rousing philosophical debate to what toppings go best on pizza. They discussed politics and the weather in the same stretch of conversation. They _learned_ about each other, just like Harley had wanted. And while Dick did discover that she had a few more screws loose than he had thought, there was nothing so earth shattering that they shouldn't be together.

Every word she spoke made his heart soar. He watched as her eyes lit up with fire when she spoke of things she was passionate about. He attended when they darkened when he asked a question that hit a sore spot. He marveled how they turned to steel when she defended herself. He loved how expressive her eyes were.

He loved her.

* * *

Finding a restaurant as loud and obvious as the Stardust Diner was piece of cake.

"Okay, what's the easiest way to not let them know where we are?" Dick asked once they were seated, looking around contemplatively. Harley chuckled, twirling one of her low pigtails around her finger. "Oh, look, I think they figured it out." He grinned and held up his phone, the bat symbol flashing on the screen. He quickly hit ignore and put his phone down.

"It took them…" Harley checked her watch and laughed, "26 and a half hours. The B-man's gettin' slow."

"Good news for us," Dick replied with a grin. "So what do you think? How should we tease them?"

"We could always post photos," she said with a shrug, pulling her brand new Samsung out of her bag. She loved having a smartphone and had become a little more than obsessed with selfies. "Crop out anything too incriminating, ya know? See how mista' 'Greatest Detective in the World' does with that."

"I love it, come here," he said with a grin, scooting over in his booth so she could sit next to him.

As Harley fiddled with her phone, his rang again. This time Damian's name flashed up on the screen and Dick's hand went on autopilot to answer it. He stopped short, and felt his heart pull as he had to hit ignore. He'd made a promise to his baby brother that no matter what, when Damian called, Dick would answer. It hurt him to break that promise now, but a squeeze on his hand from Harley brought his mind back into focus. Damian could punch him later, now they had things to do.

Looking behind him, he could see the neon liquor signs and nodded as Harley opened her camera. He wrapped her arm around her shoulder and pulled her close, smiling bright as she snapped a couple. He nudged her head just enough to get her to look at him, puzzled, and planted a kiss on her lips. She was a little shocked at first, but slipped her eyes shut and smiled into the kiss. She felt Dick's hand on her phone and when she broke the kiss saw that he had taken a photo of the it. She giggled and flipped through the ones they had taken and sent one to Dick.

"Right up on Facebook," he said with a grin as she went back to the other side of the table. "Hey I just realized… Are you on Facebook?"

"I'll find you, it'll be easier," she chuckled, navigating through the blue app and adding him as a friend. "And yes, you can tag me in it."

"Boop. Done," he grinned, showing her. It was a nice photo of them, and within seconds there were comments galore from all of Dick's coworkers. "Aw, Mike says you look beautiful, Lee."

"He's a sweetheart," she said with a grin as she put the kiss as her profile picture.

"Oh, his wife Anne commented too. She's inviting us over for dinner." Dick rolled his eyes as he spoke. "The game is on. Damian, Tim, and Jason all just liked the picture. So now that we have their attention…" He flagged down the waiter, grabbing the karaoke booklet from it's little holder in the booth. He didn't tell her that Raven also liked the photo, and he just knew in the pit of his stomach that she'd have something to say next time he saw her.

"Should I accept these friend requests?" she asked as Dick told the waiter which songs they wanted to sing. She held out her phone so Dick could see that all the remaining three BatBros all wanted to be friends on Facebook.

"Couldn't hurt," Dick said with a shrug.

* * *

The videos of them singing went up, and again he got another flood of positive comments, though not another call from Batman. For a moment Dick worried if Batman was already on his way. He didn't get to worry long, as a text from the Green Arrow froze him with a fry halfway to his mouth.

 _Oliver 10:33_

 _You better not be on Bat business in my city, Nightwing._

 _Well that's not good_ , Dick thought with a groan, dropping the fry and staring at his phone for as he debated his answer. He could lie, get Oliver to yell at Bruce and give away their location. Or he could tell the truth and buy another hour or two. Worried that the hot-headed Arrow might not believe the truth, he settled for it anyway.

 _Dick 10:35_

 _Just taking a little vacation, GA._

 _I promise I'm not trying to crowd in on your turf._

 _Oliver 10:36_

 _You better not be._

 _If we can't come into Gotham_

 _You can't come into our cities._

 _Got it?_

 _Dick 10:36_

 _I'm just here chillin but received and understood._

 _I'll pass the message along to the bat._

"Yeeaaahh…" Dick sighed as he shoved his phone into his coat pocket. "Next time how about we choose a city that doesn't have a member of the Justice League watching over it."

"Do we need to leave?" Harley asked, already finished with her dinner and grabbing her coat and bag.

"Probably not a bad idea…" He waved the waiter over and grabbed his wallet.

* * *

They didn't want to pay for a hotel room that night. Even thought it was November 1st, it was a reasonably warm night, and the back of Harley's little Nissan became nice and big when the seats went down. They blew up the air mattress and arranged their nest, but before Harley could climb in Dick stopped her, saying he wanted to take a picture. Of course she pointed out the distinct road signs which were visible in the background no matter what angle he took the photo from. She suggested moving the car, but Dick just waved her off. If the Bat was on to them (and he was sure he was) then he'd give another clue. So he angled the shot to show the least distinctive sign and gave it a simple caption.

"Night under the stars with my girl," he spoke as he typed, watching her eyes light up at his words.

They got ready for bed quickly after that, not able to do much other than change into simple sleeping attire and brush their hair. Dick wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close until her head rested on his chest. She took a deep inhale, breathing in the musk that was so _him_. With strong arms around her, she felt safe and at peace. Her arms snaked around his middle and he pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head.

"Wanna really fuck 'em up?" he asked with a mad grin. She nodded eagerly, watching him fiddle with Facebook and change his relationship status. "There. If that doesn't get Bruce in a tizzy, nothing will. I'll change it back when this is all over. Promise."

"Don't," she found herself saying before she could stop. He looked at her wide eyed and she just smiled. "I mean why would you?"

Even though she was laying down, the kiss he gave her swept her off her feet. She could feel every ounce of passion he poured into it and arched into the kiss, making him latch onto her more desperately. While her hands threaded into his hair, her hands roamed down her side, squeezing her waist and then her thighs. Electricity jolted down her spine and made her gasp. Dick took his chance to weave their tongues together and pulled another moan from her lips. Slowly he ground their hips together, letting her feel how hard he already was.

It seemed to excite her for only a second before she pushed him violently away and scrambled to the other side of the car. She was hyperventilating, her hands having a white knuckle grip on her hair like she was trying to hold everything together. Not wanting to make it worse, he stayed where he was, watching, waiting, and feeling his heart harden as he did so. He just knew this had something to do with the Joker, something he did to her during their time together that made her afraid. He scowled internally and vowed right then and there that the next time he saw the Joker, he'd make the clown regret ever having been born.

It took a few minutes for Harley to come back to herself. Her eyes welled up with tears when she saw Dick waiting so patiently. Unable to control herself, she pulled him close again and sobbed into his chest as he held her. Every cry just hardened his convictions to maiming the Joker at their next encounter. He just stroked her hair, whispering sweet nothings to her until they both eventually fell asleep like that.

* * *

The next morning came far too soon, the sun streaming directly onto their faces at the crack of dawn. Harley pulled the covers up over their heads to get a few more hours rest. It worked until Dick woke up, and then woke her up with soft kisses on her neck. This led to an intense make out session that steamed up the windows of the car. This time he was cognizant of any possible traumas and always slowed down when he felt her tense up. She would egg him on to be a little rough, but he made sure to balance it out with enough love to remind her where she was and who she was with. It wasn't a difficult thing to do, after all the Joker was all skin and bones, and while Dick wasn't fat, he was muscled and strong and _warm_. His body pressed against her felt so different, so _good_ , that she didn't want to let go. The longer they went, the more she relaxed, until it was almost 10 o'clock and they realized they had to get back on the road.

That day the pace was a bit more leisurely. Knowing almost for certain that the Bat would catch them actually made them relax. There was no more rush to put as much distance between them and Gotham as they could. Now they just focused on having some fun and making as winding a route as possible. Dick took them on back roads and side streets, making sure to have Harley live stream on a section of road going east and then immediately turning around to get on the other side of the road going west. It was a fun game, though they knew it would have to soon come to an end. So they found a very tourist-trap stretch of highway and parked in one hotel before grabbing their bags and going to another. Dick had a feeling it wouldn't throw them off for a second, but he could hope.

They strolled into the motel just after 7 that evening, fingers laced together as they approached the front desk.

"Hi, can I help you?" the girl asked cheerfully, standing up a little straighter.

"Oh yes you can… Shirley," Dick said with a smile. "Do you have any vacancies? Preferably on the third floor close to a staircase?"

Shirley knitted her eyebrows together but checked the computer anyway. "Can I ask about the specificity?"

"Well…" Dick's expression turned nervous and he ran a hand through his hair. "See the thing is, we just eloped and neither of our families approve." Harley caught on to what he was doing quickly and laced her arm through his to cling a little closer. "I had a friend who was a criminal justice major in college and he said that if you're trying to hide from someone, third floor near the stairs is the place to be."

"If you say so…" Shirley said with a smile, clacking away at the keys. "As it happens, I have room 303 available, it's by the stairs. Can I get a name?"

"Can't you put us as unlisted?" Harley asked, making Shirley cock her head in confusion. "Only I read on the internet that if you ask to be put as unlisted then yous guys can't give out our name if someone asks."

"I've never heard of that, but I can put a note that says to tell anyone looking for you that you're not here," Shirley said with a helpful smile. "Unless the police come, of course, then we have to tell them."

"Not without a warrant…" Dick said with a shrug. Harley elbowed his side and he coughed. "At least that's what my friend said."

"The police aren't after us, but my brothers might be," Harley said with a sigh. Dick arched a brow at her and she continued, "You know how overprotective they are."

"Aaahh… Do you think they'll actually do the whole 'he's a married drug dealer' thing they threatened me with?" he asked, knowing exactly how his brother's thought. Or rather, he knew how Jason and Tim thought. He doubted Damian would be talking to anyone.

"A name?" Shirley asked again.

"Mike Wilkinson," Dick answered with a smile.

"That's what I'll put the reservation under, but I need your actual name, driver's license and a credit card," Shirley said with a knowing grin. Dick gave her the required documents and in a few more minutes they had their key cards. "Enjoy your stay!"

Once in the elevator, Harley pushed Dick against the wall and kissed him hard, making him gasp into the kiss from shock. Before he could drop his bag and grab her, she let go and skipped back to the other side of the elevator, a sly grin on her face.

"So where did you really learn all that stuff?" she asked casually.

"At a seminar," he replied, crossing the elevator in one stride and grabbing her waist. "All about what to tell a woman when she comes in saying she's running from an abuser."

"Are we running from abusers?" she joke, dodging his kiss and nuzzling into his neck instead.

"Feels like it, doesn't it?"

The elevator dinged and they walked down to the room, finding it exactly where Dick wanted it. The room itself wasn't fancy, but it had a bed and a shower so it was good enough. Harley tossed her bag on the bed, about to jump in it and fall right asleep, but Dick grabbed her arm and pushed her against the wall to kiss her soundly. She returned the kiss with just as much passion, grabbing the front of his shirt to pull him closer. He grabbed her hips, detaching his lips from hers to press feather light kisses to her neck. She moaned at the sensation, her eyes flying open and hands darting into his hair. She pulled him back, a playful smile on her face.

"I need to shower," she said with a giggle, pushing him back and shoving her hands up his shirt. "And so do you."

His sweater came off in one swift motion and she pushed him towards the bathroom so forcefully he almost tripped over his own two feet. As he stumbled back she let go, taking a step back to admire him. Her eyes raked over his bare torso, lingering on his pecs, his abbs, the myriad of scars. Guilt flooded through her as she was sure she was responsible for some of them. He didn't let her feel guilt for long as he came up and kissed her neck again. He fumbled with the buttons on her blouse until he decided they were just too much hassle and ripped the shirt open. Mother-of-pearl buttons went flying all around the room as she shrugged her shirt off, letting it just drop to the floor as they continued towards the bathroom.

She felt him start to pull away from her neck and, fearful what kind of look he'd give her body, she pulled him up quickly for another kiss. His hands roamed, thumbs swiping by the underwire of her bra and making her shiver. It was obvious to him what she was trying to do and would let her 'distract' him until she felt comfortable. The last thing he wanted was to push her too far and have her close off again. So instead he ran his hands all over her body, threading his fingers through the belt loops on her jeans and pulling her in closer.

"You are beautiful," he whispered against her lips, locking them together again in another passionate embrace. "So beautiful… I love you."

His words made them both jolt back and stare at each other. Dick had been holding those three words in for weeks waiting for the right moment and his heart had just spoken for him. Harley stared at him wide eyed, her mouth slightly agape and he wanted to kick himself. He'd been trying so hard not to make her recoil and his thoughtless (if true) words had undone all his hard work.

Harley's brain stopped when he spoke. It had been so long since anyone had said that to her. The Joker certainly never bothered, not even as a manipulation technique. The last person who 'loved' her had been her boyfriend back in college. The boyfriend who used her for her money, cheated on her, knocked up her best friend, and then dumped her two days before he ran off and married said best friend. Those words had her jaded, cynical, and she took a step back so she could look into Dick's eyes and see if he was sincere.

The honesty in his eyes shocked her the most.

"Really?" she asked softly, her lips twitching into a small smile of their own accord. She wanted so desperately to believe him.

"Really," he affirmed, gathering her up in his arms again. He opened his mouth to continue, but she pressed a finger to his lips and smirked.

"If you're about to say you've been in love with me for fifteen years I'm gonna have you committed," she joked, a chuckle playing at her lips. "I got my license back. I can do that."

"Just so long as you come bust me out," he grinned right back, rubbing their noses together in an eskimo kiss. "And just for the record, it's probably been for the last month or so, not fifteen years. I've just been asking you to run away for so long because I always thought you deserved better than this life."

"I've always gotten exactly what I deserved," she muttered, her expression grim as she thought back to all the abuse she took from the Joker.

Dick knew where her mind was going and honestly had no response for it. His brain went to lightening the mood, so he lifted her up easily before dumping her in the bathroom tub and turning the shower on. Ice cold water hit her and she screamed as she finally got over the shock of being picked up. She scrambled out as fast as she could, stumbling into his waiting arms, already soaking wet.

"You deserve a shower," he said with a smirk, undoing her leopard print bra with one hand. "Let's get you out of those wet clothes."

He tried to kiss her again, but she had other plans. Rather upset about being so unceremoniously soaked, she lifted her leg up around his waist just to get a better angle to dig her heel into the back of his knee. He buckled with a shout, just off balance enough for her to push him directly into the cold stream of water without crashing his head into the tiles. He pulled her down with him, however, so by the time they landed she was on top of him getting the full blast of the cold right on the small of her back. She tried to smack him, but he easily grabbed her hand and pulled her down for another solid kiss.

It turned into quite the task to get their wet jeans off, but once they were tossed over the edge of the tub, along with Harley's bra and both sets of underwear, there was a moment where they just stared at each other. While Dick was fine showing off, Harley seemed a little uncomfortable baring herself to him. She felt vulnerable, and squirmed under his loving gaze.

Trying to get her more comfortable, he helped her to her feet and grabbed the shampoo supplied by the hotel. Turning the water to a more bearable temperature, he rubbed the soap into the long blonde locks. He diligently worked it into a lather and gently detangled her curls as he did so. He never realized how intimate washing someone else's hair was until that moment, but the look of content serenity on Harley's face made him sure that he'd do it again. Once he was done he pulled her close to his chest, wrapping his arms around her waist, and dipped her back into the water to rinse it out. It earned laughter from both sides as she arched into him, grinding their hips together and feeling his member throb against her thigh. Once the water from her hair ran clear he lifted her back up and playfully kissed her nose.

They shared another lingering kiss, her lips now much more confident against his as she tugged sharply on his hair. He pulled back with a hiss which gave her the opportunity to sink her teeth into his shoulder. The act left a loud red mark, which she ran her tongue over to soothe the irritated skin. He gave a full body shudder as her tongue danced over a sensitive nerve and he pulled her close. She gave a small giggle and pressed the conditioner into his hand with a smirk.

"You best finish what you started," she said, turning around so he could easily reach her hair.

Dick fully intended to finish what he started as his eyes raked over the elegant arch of her back, down around the curve of her butt, to the soft angles of her strong legs. As he squeezed the conditioner onto her hair and massaged it in, all he could think about was having those legs wrapped around him. Though something about her posture made his hands pause in her hair. She wasn't relaxed. Her arms were wrapped around her middle in what he was sure she thought was a calm pose, but they were tense, and her shoulders were stiff and high on her neck. Upon closer inspection, he could see razor thin scars criss crossing all over her back. He very nearly saw red. Those were whip scars. Slowly he went back to conditioning her hair, trailing his hands father down her head and hair. When his hands got close to her neck, he felt her go completely stiff and pulled his hands away in an instant.

They knew the Joker had abused her. They knew he beat her. God only knows what else he did to her. One thing was clear, that man (if one could even call him that) had traumatized her. No wonder Bruce felt so guilty all those years. The problem then arose that, while Dick knew she was scared about him being behind her, he had no idea how to turn her around without scaring her even more. Everything that came to mind, pulling her shoulder, grabbing her arm, even just telling her to turn around, it all could come off so wrong. So instead he finished running the conditioner through her hair, giving her a good scalp massage before gently tilting her head back so the water could rinse. When he did, he saw that her eyebrows were knitted together, eyes squeezed shut, like she was trying hard not to picture something. He had no idea what to do.

At a loss, he pressed a soft kiss right between those furrowed brows and instantly felt them loosen. Her eyes fluttered open and then focused on him, and she smiled softly. She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder as his arms wrapped around her. He grabbed both of her hands with his and gave them a light squeeze, just to try and remind her who was actually there. Sighing, she turned her head into his neck and breathed in deep, the rush of air tickling his neck, and all the stiffness in her muscled relaxed at once. She all but melted into his arms as a content smile danced across her lips. The heat from the water was going to both of their heads, and even Dick felt a little light headed.

"You look tired," he whispered, not wanting to break the spell just yet.

"I am tired," she whispered back.

"Bedtime?"

"Yeah."

Moving slow, he disentangled an arm and turned the water off. She still leaned on him, her back pressed nearly flush against his chest, and he found he didn't want to let go just yet. Instead he stood there with her as the last of the water ran down the drain. The steamy heat lay heavy in the room, almost cocooning the young couple in a blanket of peace. Dick felt himself starting to sway, nearly falling asleep on his feet, and had to shake himself awake. Harley looks like she was already asleep on her feet, and so he carefully scooped her up bridal style and stepped out of the tub. He set her down on the counter, the cold tile jolting her awake as he threw a towel over her head.

Once they were dry, Dick ordered some room service and a movie before setting up his phone charger and collapsing on the bed. He'd never realized how exhausting running away was. At least now they knew for next time. Propping himself up against the headboard to do some channel surfing, he watching Harley as she sat at the vanity, brushing the tangles from her wet hair. She usually took such care to make sure that her hair was silky and straight, but now, without any product, it was starting to curl. She seemed to realize it too, because soon she stopped brushing and started scrunching her hair in an attempt to make the curls do what she wanted them to do. Smiling, Dick leaned his head back, eyes closed, and thought about the future. Again the longing of a wife and family pulled at his heart and he could see himself ten years down the road, sitting on the couch with maybe a kid asleep on his chest and Harley scrunching wet hair as she came to join him and watch a movie. It was a diluted fantasy, he knew, but one he craved all the same.

A knock on the door brought him from his musings. Harley was up in a second, securing her robe before opening the door for room service. The porter pushed a cart in and left quickly, leaving the two alone again with… not so amazing smelling food but they were hungry. Of course they didn't expect much from a highway hotel, and what they assumed were burgers did hit the spot, but it was still questionable. Once the diner was consumed and the cart pushed back into the hall, they snuggled up on the large bed and settled in for the movie.

"Have you ever seen 'Vampires Suck'?" Dick asked, a smirk playing on his lips as he started the film.

"Never," Harley answered with something akin to mock fear in her voice.

"It's a Twilight parody," he clarified, watching her smack her head into her palm. "What? It's hilarious!"

With a roll of her eyes, Harley snatched the remote from Dick's hands and paused the movie before tossing it away. Before he could say anything, she straddled his lap, opening her robe just enough to make his eyes gloss over with lust. She leaned forward and caught his lips in a searing kiss, his hands latching onto her hips and pulling her close. The kiss broke far too soon, but they both gulped down air as they stared intently into each other's eyes.

"I don't wanna watch a dumb movie," she whispered against his lips, smirking a bit. "I don't wanna sleep neither."

* * *

 _Next Chapter Preview:_

 _"How could you just leave us like that?! We're your brothers! … You didn't even say goodbye..!"_

* * *

 _AN: Hope you enjoyed guys. I'll update again when I can~_


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